Warning: This recap contains nothing but spoilers for the latest episode of Game of Thrones. If you are reading this before seeing the episode “Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”, you are doing it wrong.
Warning: This recap contains nothing but spoilers for the latest episode of Game of Thrones. If you are reading this before seeing the episode “Winterfell”, you are doing it wrong.
- “There probably is no out”. And there it is kids. Season over!
- This is like Walter White’s vacation in the great white north. Except Robert Forster is just an old handyman. And June isn’t a meth kingpin. OK, this is nothing like Breaking Bad. Shut up.
- OK, the Handyman’s “After a while, crocodile” sold me. He’s my new god.
- Seriously. Are all college classes in TV and Movies either COMPLETELY CHOCKED FULL or sparsely filled by nerds and assholes?
- ACK! TWISTY THE CLOWN! Err. Wait. No… Just another railroaded liberal. And a GAY one to boot!
- A lot of world building this episode. Figuratively and literally.
- A requiem for a newspaper. A 1 act play wherein June mourns the written word, the dead, and decides to publish her own zine. (If I don’t make my own jokes here, I’m going to go insane of sadness.)
- “You and our baby”. Vomit, Nick. But hey. He gave her a gun!
- I’m sorry. Two guns. I’m starting to feel bad for actual husband. Sorta. He’s a bit of a dweeb. I’m stalling while the dead-eyed weirdo boinks the pregnant chick. I’m hella-uncomfortable.
- Sweet Christmas. That’s enough with the freeing sex, kids!
- It’s just my Hulu, but the first ad after all that sex was for White Castle, and I seriously vurped.
- So how does one get to be a cattle prodder? “Well, in my other life, I worked at the DMV.” SOLD!
- An MFA in interior design? It’s JUST as useful working in the wasteland.
- Somewhere, a Trump supporter watching this show has a hard-on when they deny the marriage license of a gay couple that is “no longer recognized”. And I’d like THAT person to be sent to the wasteland.
- OH DAYUM, GINA. College Prof gots lady balls. Suck it, house frau!
- If I lived in this world, and had faith previously? It hath been smoted by meow.
(all these thoughts are made chronologically as I “enjoy” the episode)
- I just made myself a bowl of ice cream prior to hitting play, because I’m going to occasionally need to be reminded that joy does indeed exist in the world still.
- I just finished the recap. I’m glad I added cookies to my ice cream. Also “Trust me.” No, Nick. I do not trust you. You were an out of work loser ass-bag in the before-time. So, no.
- They KNOW she’s preggers, right? That should give us SOME feeling of safety for June, right?
- STOPPED at 6:56 to take a breath. I mean, I get it. They have work to do, and apparently fast. But, like, wouldn’t it be just as easy to march down the handmaids who are going to be hung in a neat and orderly line, without all the rush-rush-rush? Time is money, sure. But Gilead don’t have no money! ALSO… They have folks hung like ornaments all over the place. If they need to murder you, they literally have rifles. This seems like WWE levels of idiocy.
- OH FUCK YOU, SHOW.
- Die Aunt Lydia. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. (Each ‘Die’ comes for a separate bit during the show.)
- Why did we have another kid? Cause Fuck the Patriarchy! Great reason, millennials.
- “How did Ofmike get such beefy biceps? That bitch-bag made her stand outside with a rock in her hand for 3 hours, and she’s got 24″ pythons now, brother!”
- I’m glad I finished my ice cream ahead of the live burning. Aunt Lydia needs to be murdered. By an army of savage children all singing “Our God is an Awesome God.”
- I don’t know who this nurse/social worker is, but I think Aunt Lydia must have been cloned. Also? I hate her.
- I know that silhouette anywhere. Hello Mrs. Twatface! Also? “Don’t get so mad, Serena. It’d be bad for the baby?” Cue that gif of the kids all going OH!!!!!”
- Nice try show. I’m not going to believe June’s getting out of this hospital! I bet this is just more theatrics! (He says, silently praying Mayday is gonna get her out of this, and full well knowing NOT on episode 1 of the 2nd season).
- WAIT! WHAT!? Don’t make me have hope, show. I still don’t trust Nick!
- Haha! Fuck you, red frock! Also… SWEET CHRISTMAS, WOULDN’T NICK KNOW AN EASIER WAY TO REMOVE THE TAG!? I’m going to be sick.
That seemed like a waste of a perfectly good millstone…
Now I want to see what The Miniaturist sent the Meermans
How are they going to explain the baby, even with Otto returned?
Wait, so was there magic or not?
Why did Emily Berrington do that weird dutch accent when everyone else used British ones?
Joe is obviously a psychopath right? He’s basically post-grad Dan Humphries (because being Gossip Girl is pretty stalker craycray when you step back and look at it gross)
Looks like he might have an interesting backstory tho.
Oh Benji, you are so wrong. He is so a killer and you just don’t know you’re dead yet.
Rich people, amirite?
Except in Frankenstein you truly sympathize with the monster, this show notsomuch.
Oh Peach, you just put yourself in the crosshairs…
Who keeps the phone?? And leaves it on with the battery in it? This is obviously not Joe’s first rodeo, he’d know better.
Pretty sure I don’t like a single person on this show, Greg Bertilani you’ve let me down for once…
Global nuclear annihilation. That was a little too real life scenario for comfort.
Genetic screening. A caste system. No unauthorized copulation. Did the world end or did Cult win?
It’s nice to see Sarah Paulsen play the heavy. But when do we get Cordelia Goode?
Kathy Bates can sure rock black lipstick.
“The Cooperative” sounds more menacing every time someone says it.
They totally made that dude into stew, right?
No idea what’s going on but the visuals are delicious as always.
Ms Patti LaBelle ladies and gentlemen! Wait, that’s all the Patti LaBelle we get??
Grace & Darius making it church folk official. But she’s still not hearing him when he says he won’t be going to church, this is going to be a thing…
Zora is taking up the bitchiness to 11. She’s lashing out in an attempt to feel some sense of power but it’s brutal to watch.
— Greenleaf OWN (@GreenleafOWN) September 13, 2018
Looks like we are headed to another showdown between Lady Mae and Grace!
Given what went down between Zora and Sophia, this new living arrangement does not bode well.
And oh Charity, day drinking with Nathan in tow? Not a good look. And neither are the bracelets those officers have for you.
The National Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) is available 24/7/365.
The Greenleafs have all that help: cook, maids, security but Charity still doesn’t have a nanny??
Uh oh Jabari isn’t looking like such a prince…
Now that she’s got all the facts, Grace is DONE taking her mother’s condescension
— Greenleaf OWN (@GreenleafOWN) August 30, 2018
Zora just might be transitioning from “wild child” to “bad seed”