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Brainiac On Banjo: Let’s Ban Us Some Comic Books!

Brainiac On Banjo: Let’s Ban Us Some Comic Books!

Posted on by Mike Gold

Give me back the Berlin wall. Give me Stalin and St. Paul. Give me Christ, or give me Hiroshima — “The Future” written by Leonard Cohen

Happy, happy Banned Books Week! It started this very week, and in case you haven’t been paying attention in certain rather large parts of the United States of America, areas I have taken to refer to as the Confederate States, they do not want it to last just a week. They want it to last forever. By the way, there’s more of these Confederate States today than there were in 1861, and you can recognize them by the number of torch-wielding, bible-thumping goons telling you what you and your family cannot be allowed to read.

It’s really a big deal. If these goose-steppers have their way, when it comes to comics and graphic novels all you’ll be permitted to read are Jack Chick’s stuff.

Here is a partial list — and I truly mean partial; it’s as thorough as a fart in a blizzard — of comics and graphic novels that have been removed from some of our libraries and even bookstores. Take a deep breath and hide your Bic lighters.

Anne Frank, banned in more ways than one.

Maus by Art Spiegelman, Bone by Jeff Smith, Neonomicon by Alan Moore, Saga by Brian K. Vaughan, The Walking Dead (all of them) by Robert Kirkman, Blankets: An Illustrated Novel by Craig Thompson, Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe, The Handmaid’s Tale by by Margaret Atwood – Art & Adaptation by Renee Nault, and Sandman by Neil Gaiman.

And: A Girl on the Shore by Inio Asano, Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel, Flamer by Mike Curato, New Kid and Class Act by Jerry Craft, Moonstruck by Grace Ellie, Shae Beagle and Kate Leth, A Quick & Easy Guide to Queer & Trans Identities by Mady G and Jules Zuckerberg, Lighter Than My Shadow by Katie Green, No Girls Allowed: Tales of Daring Women Dressed As Men for Love Freedom and Adventure by Susan Hughes and Willow Dawson, Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” by Miles Hyman.

And, still more: When Stars Are Scattered by Victoria Jamieson and Omar Mohamed, The Breakaways by Cathy G. Johnson, Drawn Together by Minh Lê and Dan Santat, Identity: A Story of Transitioning by Corey Maison, Losing the Girl by MariNaomi, I Am Alfonso Jones by Tony Medina, Stacey Robinson, and John Jennings, V For Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd, The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen, The Witch Boy by Molly Knox Ostertag, Tomboy: A Graphic Memoir by Liz Prince, Captain Underpants (series) by Dav Pilkey, and, because we do not want to shame the American Nazis, Anne Frank’s Diary: The Graphic Adaptation by David Polonsky. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Let’s Ban Us Some Comic Books!” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Burning Down The House!

Brainiac On Banjo: Burning Down The House!

Posted on by Mike Gold

Every year many bleeding hearts tiptoe through their keyboards decrying the spread of book banning in state and local schools and libraries. And by “every year,” I mean “well, actually, every couple of days.”

As we’ve seen this month, a huge part of the Virginia gubernatorial race focused on the horrific nightmares evoked from the work of author Toni Morrison. She was the winner of the American Book Award, the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, the Nobel Prize in Literature, the National Humanities Medal, the Library of Congress Creative Achievement Award for Fiction, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and over 100 other A list awards. Lord knows, that’s not the type of person whose work you’d want in your library, is it?

Nazis doing what Nazis do.

These lists often come out of Texas because their school library habits influence purchasing patterns all over this bigoted nation… and that’s because, when it comes to electing government officials, Texas is to fascism what Florida is to prostitution.

Therefore, every year I find myself dancing across my own keyboard bitching about censorship. Technically, that word only applies to works banned by a government, so it certainly applies here. But in a democracy – yeah, I know; stop laughing! – the government acts in the name of the people, so I subscribe to the overreaching definition of that term. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Burning Down The House!” →

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E13 “The Word” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E13 “The Word” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • This is it! Just an hour left to this snuff film. I wonder if they’ll beat Hannah up in front of June for fun.
  • So, did June “plead for mercy” when SHE was accused of infidelity? Is that why she’s not at the bottom of a swimming pool? (Sorry, still making notes on the “previously on…”
  • Oh Martha. You treat EVERYONE like shit.
  • Great catch June! That Childwife WAS a total bitch. Writing in a bible. Thank God she’s chum.
  • Cry, Serena. Never stop crying.
  • Not gonna lie. Hulu’s “10 second rewind” allowed me to watch June smack Voldefred about a dozen times. Think I’ll watch it a few more.
  • I’m still not good with June’s “love” for Nick. So much of this feels false. She knows Luke is alive. She’s seen Hannah. So why can I not accept her feelings for Nick? Oh, cause he’s Nick.
  • Meanwhile in Stepford… the Wives “believe” in Gilead. So that their daughters may grow up… to not be literate. Subservient. And hey! If they accidentally fall in love with the wrong guy? Free swimming pass!
  • And now it’s time for sex with Bradley Whitford. This ought to be nightmarish. Least she brought a knife.
  • Something is really off with Whitford. In a good way. Yay! No sex. But somehow, that makes sense. And hey! Free knife.
  • “We, the conscripted Wives of you impotent idiots we helped usher into power, do ask that at like very least, we let the kids reads the bible. Mmm K?” Aww. Serena is trying to get smacked something fierce. Also? That was your chosen passage? Light in the darkness? C’mon, I thought you were the read brains in the family.
  • AWW MAN! Aunt Bitchbag stabbed and bitch-smacked?! It’s time for several dozen rewinds! NOW FINISH HER OFF!
  • “Call an ambulance! What have you done?” Bitch? Did you NOT see what I did when I stole a car? This was just for funsies.
  • No compassion given to Serena. Sew the seeds, enjoy your fruit, you childnapping thundercunt.
  • Make the Commander some tea, June. HOLD HIS FACE OVER THE OPEN BURNER. “Try for a boy this time…”
  • I hope Commander Bradley Whitford is going on a field trip to the airport, or Vegas or something. He’s all sorts of fun crazy. I was enjoying Annie Lennox…
  • THE MARTHAS ARE REVOLTING! THE MARTHAS ARE REVOLTING!
  • I’m half expecting a boss battle between June and Fred before she can escape. Again.
  • Or is it Nick fighting? Oh, Nick. Now I love you too.
  • Serena. SHE IS NOT YOUR GOD DAMNED BABY. I repeat it. She is not, nor ever was, or will be YOUR baby. Letting a woman be RAPED ritually on your lap, and repeating how much you love the baby never ever ever ever ever EVER gave you permission to STEAL HER as yours. Also? The Blessing of Aaron? Double-screw you. (That has very special importance to me. I do not like hearing it out of her vile mouth.)
  •  But hey. At least she let her go. So, that’s ONE good point for you. Don’t spend it too soon when you eventually burn in hell.
  • Thank god the baby is a sound sleeper.
  • “It will be written into the history books of the Underground Martha Railroad.”
  • Oh, yeah. Remember Luke? Awkward.
  • YAY! BRADLEY WHITFORD IS GOOD.
  • Hurray! So, June walks as if she hears the harrowing music playing. And… then…
  • I mean. What in the world? Is she going back to murder literally everyone? Because that’s like the only way I “get” that. Nick and the Martha’s just risked EVERYTHING! And I get it. Nicole / Holly / Whatever now has a chance. But, this show has made it clear: Season three will just be crueler than cruel. This is what I’ve been taught.
  • Oh well! Hope ya’ll enjoyed my ramblings.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E12 “Postpartum” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E12 “Postpartum” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • No way out. Baby born. A jailed life may be better than being eaten by a wolf. The thumbnail to this episode alone — with Voldefred clutching what appears to be a baby in a blanket — fills me with dread. I know it won’t happen (because again, the thumbnail), but man, it’d be the bee’s knees if June awaited anyone to arrive in a vehicle. She lures them in with the baby. BOOM! Shotgun to their face. Steal running car. Get to Canada. Find Moira and Luke. Arm militia. Invade Gilead. Kill all commanders, wives, and Aunt Bitchbag. Save Hannah. Return to Canada. Live in peace. LET ME HAVE MY FANTASY, DAMNIT.
  • Kidnapper.
  • Go to hell Aunt Bitchbag. “I know this is difficult for you.” Go. To. Hell. Here. Have a fuck-muffin.
  • Nick’s alive! I don’t give a good God-damn.*
  • *Unless he literally murders the Waterfords. A lot.
  • There isn’t a punishment vile enough for literally everyone in the chapel. And yes, I get it. Lydia is trying to do the best in the worst situation. But it truly doesn’t matter to me at this point. The torture they are inflicted on June is such that I can’t think of a way where I DON’T want to have a full episode of Serena, Fred, and Lydia locked in a cage while June, and other handmaids are allowed throw stuff at them. Like dirty needles.
  • Meanwhile, elsewhere in Gilead, we’ve arrived at Commander … uhh… BRADLEY WHITFORD? Did he literally get picked up off the floor from “Get Out”?
  • And here I thought the Waterfords were the worst. They are. But at least they’ll have a wonderful dinner party with the rest of the child-stealing rapist families…
  • Hey! Childwife. Still don’t like you. At all. You brainwashed ninny.
  • “Our baby is so beautiful.” Oh Nick. Get a gun. And a car. Then shoot yourself. Give June the car.
  • This little roleplaying about Maui is making me nauseous.
  • Scream baby, scream. Because the crazy lady thinks she can have you because she wants you. She’s also feeding you a dry-ass titty. And that’s straight up mean.
  • Did Voldefred just ask for a I-let-you-see-your-child-before-stealing-your-second-child-blow-job?
  • By the looks of it, Bradley Whitford beats the crap out of his wife. I started typing this out before he literally dragged her out of the room. Someone get Martin Sheen to knock some sense into Josh!
  • “She wanted everything to be beautiful…” so, you know… marry Satan.
  • Whitford doesn’t drink the Kool-Ade. That’s what is most terrifying.
  • Welcome home, Childwife. Wait. Maybe she’ll be a Handmaid now! Yay!
  • Nevermind.
  • What… no goofy color-coded ceremony for this? Naw. Instead, we’ll just go ahead and watch two CHILDREN be murdered for the sin of love.
  • Cry, Serena. Cry for-fucking-ever. And then die. You STOLE a child. And continue to live in that sin until (I pray) you rot in hell. And I don’t even believe in hell.
  • One more episode to go in season 2. I pray for about 100 handmaid bombs.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E11 “Holly” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E11 “Holly” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • The last episode really took a lot out of me, mentally. Tonight’s episode better just be an accidental rerun of Scrubs.
  • A minute in, and I fear I’m watching the end of the Shining.
  • Please, hilariously ironic deity who I don’t believe in… either let June know how to properly hotwire a car… or let this dire wolf she’s confronting be magical.
  • No offense. But who leaves car keys in end tables?
  • DRIVE TO CANADA JUNE.
  • I’ve learned enough by now. June will pull out of the garage to a tank ready to blow her up. Or, the Waterfords. Frick.
  • “I’m not leaving here without my baby.” … Once again, I’d like to state for the record: IT’S NOT YOUR BABY.
  • Listening to Serena and Voldefred fight tickles me in ways that make me feel giddy.
  • Wait. GUN. GUN! SWEET MOTHER MARY AND BITCHBAG A GUN.
  • OK. Now. Get in the car, and haul ass to Lollapallooza. Shoot anyone who gets in the way. And of course, we’ll start labor now.
  • I’m with June. Hospital. Eff all that Doula-hippy-crunchy-midwife birthing. #ImWithPatton
  • Gotta love that old world craftsmanship. But, June… keep that up and you’ll.. you know. Die.
  • I guess we havin’ a behbeh.
  • I think someone told me Elizabeth Moss won an Emmy for this show. I don’t know if that was for Season 1 or 2. But I sure as hell bet “Oh, you DIDN’T do a naked child-birthing scene?” came up when she was discussing challenging roles with her fellow nominees.
  • That baby sure came out clean. And what, no afterbirth? Wait, why the hell do I care if they show that?!
  • Also, this baby has already shown more emotion than the father. So, at least June passed on her humanity.
  • Welcome to the world, Holly. It sucks.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E10 “The Last Ceremony” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E10 “The Last Ceremony” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • The title of the episode is “The Last Ceremony”. This bodes well.
  • Hey! A commander has a heart attack after rape. Praise be! Bonus points for the nut shot.
  • Childwife and ManbabySoldier are sure getting friendly.
  • “Oh, I’m so pleased to be stealing this child!” Go to hell Serena Joy.
  • Make way for Aunt BitchBag everyone!
  • Wowsers. A black commander. A black VIRILE commander. Gird your loins, men.
  • Whoa whoa whoa. Wait wait. The wives have their own fake-birth ceremony? This clinches it. When the season is over? I’m doing some fanfic crossovers where Jessica Jones lays waste to Gilead.
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. June 1. Serena 0.
  • Aunt Bitchbag’s spicy mango tea? I see Kermit sipping it already. Also, did June just mildly threaten Serena with an ass whoopin’? June 2. Serena 0.
  • Oh, June. You didn’t think he’d say yes, did you. But I appreciate the moxie. And I LOVE that on her way out she is burning every damned bridge she crosses. June 3. Waterfords 0.
  • Oh. This is. I can’t. I may stop the episode right now. The Waterfords are pure, unforgivable evil.
  • GASP! Childwife and ManBabySoldier! SHE’S UNCLEAN. And Nick likes to watch. Vurrrp.
  • Oh, poor Childwife. You know not what you say. I mean, you figured Nick like June. Good on you for that. But seriously. You’re 15. And this fucked up religious cult you are indoctrinated in has ruined your poor mind.
  • “Please stop crying.” Congrats Nick. NOW you’re a father.
  • PAUSE. Voldefred has a “surprise.” I swear to whatever God-Like-Being that is reading my recaps… If this asshat brings Hannah out as a present for raping a pregnant woman, I’m going to… OK, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ll be really sad.
  • Fuck the Waterfords. There’s no bounds to the cruelty of this show. “Why didn’t you try harder?”… Tear my god-damned spine out of my body.
  • Telling your own child to “Love your parents” when YOU CAN’T BE HER MOTHER is one of the most gut-wrenching things I’ve seen June endure. AND SHE WAS LITERALLY RAPED AN EVENING AGO. 
  • For fuck’s sake. Nick? SHOOT THE WATERFORDS.
  • Holy shit. Nevermind. Well, I don’t think I can breathe now.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E9 “Smart Power” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E9 “Smart Power” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • Martha is permanently stuck on sass-mode. Nothing deeper to report.
  • “Hi. I’m Issac. I like long walks on the beech. The writings of Levi. And this rifle.”
  • The Handmaid’s Tale is going to Canada! Wooooooo! Someone start a round of “If I Had A Million Dollars”!
  • And the award for deep-rooted irony goes to… Voldefred, for his “the Canadians need to know that you’re not an abused woman living in an oppressed society that YOU WERE TOTALLY IN-PART RESPONSIBLE FOR.”
  • Hey! Childwife made cookies. And HusbandBlankStare is sure… Nick.
  • Serena Joy sure is a bitch. “When the baby pops out, you gon’ bitch.” “Bu—” “Suck it, whore.”
  • Oh, hey! Luke woke the fuuuuuudge up when he saw his wife’s ritual rapist. YAY!
  • Moira… it’s time to learn strategic ninja star throwing.
  • That’s right, Serena. Gaze upon a metropolis filled with energy, life, words, love, and civility. It turns out you didn’t need to reduce society to some psuedo-Amish backwards-assed joyless patriarchy! Now, smile and be pretty for the meetings like a good bitch. (Get it. That’s a pun, because she’s an obedient female dog, and an ass!)
  • SICK GAY BURN, BRAH!
  • It’s hard not to make a thousand notes tonight. I’m sorry. DID THEY JUST GIVE HER A PICTURE-GRAM SCHEDULE?! Ha! I mean, I literally paused on her grimace just to soak it up.
  • Unwoman. Gun to the temple. I’m rewinding to Serena’s face.
  • Won’t even share the elevator with her. Suck it, Housefrau Bitchface. You are amidst free people.
  • Take the treason and coconuts, idiot. WHO KNEW THAT SCIENCE TRUMPS YOUR DOPEY FAKE RELIGION. I love Mr. America. He’s cruel in the BEST way.
  • Childwife… meet Childsoldier. Ya’ll should make with the sex.
  • Hey! BlandMartha. Poison the Waterfords.
  • Mark it down. It’s the first time I have ever loved Luke. I may never again. Oh, and screw off, Nick.
  • Aunt Bitchbag loves the children. Doesn’t think much of women. But lerves her some berbers.
  • Diplomacy over, bitches. Serena’s face? I could bathe in her sadness and shame.
  • You had me until the God Bless America sing-a-long. Just… no. Stop it.
  • Look upon your closet of teal, and weep… thundercunt.
  • Poor Nick. Now you know June likes em tall, dark, and mildly Canadian.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E8 “Women’s Work” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E8 “Women’s Work” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • The new normal disconcerts me heavily. Because this show has trained me to accept that anything that looks even CLOSE to normal, positive, or happy eventually leads to some awful comeuppance. So, night work with Serena Joy? I give it 3 more scenes before Lydia is giving June papercuts on her eyelids while the Cyclops Handmaid does a jig. Don’t like it? TOO BAD, SHOW. YOU DID THIS TO ME.
  • “I won’t forget this.” Riiiiight Serena. Does this mean you’ll let June see her daughter? FAT CHANCE.
  • Aww. Childbride made Voldefred a napkin. And as a topper? I think he’s kinky for June’s extra cushion for pushing. Vomit.
  • “Here. Let me regift you my music box to remind you that ultimately you’re my property.” Awww!
  • Poor Childwife. She doesn’t get that Nick is just a goth.
  • “You sound just like one of them.”… and THERE it is, kids. A fate worse than a taser to the tit.
  • Hooboy! Moral ambiguity?! Bend the law, you say?
  • The SNEER on that wife’s face when he one-handed hubby sided with Serena was AUDIBLE.
  • Oh, Aunt Bitchbag. Can there be a single episode without her?
  • SHE’S GOT A STETHOSCOPE! GET A GUN POINTED AT HER HEAD, STAT!
  • Meanwhile, in Sad Sack Manor… Voldefred goes on a panty raid? Vomit.
  • It’s like the baby… has lost… her will… to live. I just made a Star Wars Episode 3 reference. Now I feel sick.
  • This gimp-ass bearded impotent bastard is gonna whip his wife like a scolded child. How dare they make me feel bad for Serena. Who I need to remember not only helped launch Gilead… but knowingly choked June while pregnant. This has all better work out in the end… when Serena kicks Fred in the balls, literally to death. And then, downs a fistful of pills and vodka.
  • Childwife can’t be trusted.
  • You know what I just recognized? No real “poignant flashbacks” this episode. Funny, that.
  • I’m honestly amazed Fred didn’t just go ahead and play the Imperial March.
  • And June collapses on a compass. She doesn’t know what way to go. Touching.
  • So, a mother’s love brought a baby back from the brink of death. FUNNY, THAT. 
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E7 “After” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E7 “After” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
    • I took off Thanksgiving because I needed a break. So, to lighten my mental burden? I watched Get Out. Now I feel bad for being a man and white. Ahhhh.
    • “The world is a near post-apocalyptic nightmare. Make sure we spare no expense on wardrobe.”
    • I paused the stream to count. 31 dead. My first thought? It’s a start.
    • “I wish I could give you a world without violence.” BULLSHIT, BITCHBAG.
    • Seriously, how much of Handmaiden training is going over this pomp and circumstance? It took us 5 rehearsals to get graduation walking down.

via GIPHY

  • In the bus. “So, ladies. Who wants to play some bridge. Too soon?”
  • Damnit. Of course Voldefred is alive. And hey! It’s Nick in his Action-Jackson suit! Someone make me an action figure.
  • Oh Luke. Please compete with Nick for least-worthy of June. Please.
  • “Welcome to Handmaid school. Upon graduation, you’ll receive your work robes, death robes, and of course… your robes for Quidditch. Psyche! There’s no joy in Gilead, bitches.”
  • Suck it, soupbitch Martha. Commander Assface wants to have a private meeting with our hero.
  • Oh, dude. We absolutely cannot trust you. At all. At all at all. At all at all at all.
  • Wait. All soupbitches are “Martha”? Are all bitchbags “Lydia”? Who wrote the rules on this crazy ass town? Oh yeah. Serena Joy and Voldefred. Nevermind.
  • CAN PEOPLE SERIOUSLY STOP HOLDING JUNE BY HER FACE?!
  • I swear, Luke just makes me ill. Equally as ill as Nick, come to think of it. Both of them are literally too much. In that they are wasting oxygen. Smiling and/or brooding when they absolutely shouldn’t be.
  • So, they want us to just root for June and Moira to gay the everloving crap outta each other and make a NEW nation, right? Cause I’m shipping them so hard right now.
  • Nope. I have a six month old. That kid ain’t fresh enough for Moira’s vajayjay to be needing ice. Nice try, TV.
  • June’s eyeroll was audible. Also… What a promotion for ole’ One Eye and Road Rage!
  • Viva la revolution! I give it a week before they’re being whipped in the rain. Someone cue the whipping robes!
  • I don’t trust a damned thing Serena Joy says, does, or wants. Because, once again, she helped usher in this hilarious world of “legal” rape, torture, and kidnapping. But she’s giving June super secret documents and a pen. Is this like giving Dobby a sock? Or is this Serena’s “I’m Madame President now” Claire Underwooding?
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E6 “First Blood” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E6 “First Blood” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • Not going to lie. I sat down to watch tonight and thought “I totally don’t remember the big cliffhanger from last night.” and then a millisecond into the “previously on”, then remembered everything. Getting ice cream now.
  • “Mrs. Waterford… your baby is moving around in there!”— Oh blow it out your ass Dr. Fuckyourself.
  • I haven’t read the books, and I’m sure this would change the trajectory of so much, but I had a fleeting thought. If Nick had been black, and the baby came out beautifully mixed… the whole of Gilead would have to swallow that Fred’s loins are for crap. Of course that I say that NOW I imagine they’d raise THAT child in a locked tower. So, never mind. I’ll go back to my ice cream. I’m sorry, Aunt Lydia.
  • YEAH. MAKE ME SOME SOUP… BITCH.
  • So, they’re making a new larger center to subjugate women. Lovely. I can’t wait to see the all-marble rape rooms.
  • “Do you want to know the secret?” Sure, childwife. “I put pop rocks in them.” I DO love the guilt-ridden corpse face of Nick though.
  • I think I get it now. The show likes to make us think these are human beings, and THEN they remind us they are horrendous monsters who should be tazed in the face and kept on the brink of death and sanity for the remainder of their mortal lives.
  • June “Feels” back, with her scene in the kitchen with Freddy No-Sperm. But, I don’t get the angle. Yet.
  • “Just give it some time.”… you know, like until you’re legal? Like old enough to drink. Wait, sorry, we pause this joke for this interruption. SHE THINKS HE’S GAY!? Hahahahahahahaha.
  • So, run away for 90 days? Get choked nearly to death. Bleed from the  hoo-hah a bit too much? Free lunch for you and your friends! I can’t wait for the juicy gossip. “So, how did YOU get raped last month?”
  • So, infant mortality is what started all of this, eh? Who needs medical science, when you have God on your side! Too bad they didn’t fire a few more at her.
  • “I love you.” Oh, piss off, Nick. You have no idea what love is.
  • The thing is, Breaking Bad was evil, but behind it we saw the reasoning. Walter White was one man, who at his worst, was in it to benefit one man. And the drugs he made may have led to tons of death and badness. But again: he was one man. Serena Joy and all their ilk are a fricking nation formed under the guise of religion to make habitual rape and murder the norm. Being forced to see this much evil in every frame is maddening.
  • Do YOU feel guilt, shame, and remorse when YOU’RE having sex with underage girls at the threat of death? Well, say no more! Gilead-brand Fucksheets now come with glory hole and paper bag for her head.
  • “She wanted to see the child.” There it is, Serena. You’re soulless.
  • Oh, Fred. You’re making me regret the ice cream. I’m gonna be sick.
  • “You’ve been issued a women.”
  • “Blessed be the fruit.”, thanks, you 15 year old half-wit.
  • “Don’t you want to run a household, one day?” I think I’m gonna watch Serena get shot a few more times.
  •  Nevermind.