Category: Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind

Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mind #083: Rule Forty-Two!

Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mind #083: Rule Forty-Two!

At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!’ and read out from his book, `Rule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.’ / Everybody looked at Alice. / `I’m not a mile high,’ said Alice. / `You are,’ said the King. / `Nearly two miles high,’ added the Queen. / `Well, I shan’t go, at any rate,’ said Alice: `besides, that’s not a regular rule: you invented it just now.!” – Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

If you’ve read Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, which I highly recommend, your take-away might have been “hot damn, that place is a real downer.”

Well, then. Welcome to Wonderland.

Drink me.

Every press conference held by America’s greatest unarmed bigot is little more than contradictions and obvious lies. Many are doing what we’re supposed to do, which is easier for those of us who have long thought social distancing is a swell idea. It sucks if you’re in a Red State where they are getting much of what they need to save lives, but it really sucks if you’re in a Blue State. You’re getting maybe 5% of what you need to protect citizens, first responders, doctors, nurses, the people who clean up the infected shit in the hospitals, the people who deliver the mail and packages and take-out food and work in the supermarkets, etc. etc. etc. You know, the people who are saving lives. Oh, and some of that stuff you’ve received is well past its “best-use” date. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mind #083: Rule Forty-Two!”

Weird Scenes 082: What Goes Around… Goes Around… And Around…

Weird Scenes 082: What Goes Around… Goes Around… And Around…

Instant Karma’s gonna get you / Gonna knock you right on the head / You better get yourself together / Pretty soon you’re gonna be dead…

Welcome to our first edition of Weird Scenes Inside The Covid Mind…

Yin: According to published reports, crime is down about five percent; of course, your results might vary.

Yang: On the other hand, domestic violence is up 10%. Add that to the ridiculous increase of gun sales – what, you’re gonna shoot Covid-19? – and we might have a whole ‘nother problem real soon.

Wha?: The term “coronababies” is a thing. If you think diapers are hard to get right now, just wait until November.

Hmm: If we make it through this relatively intact, and keep a pleasant thought, we will have the internet to thank. It doesn’t prevent the stir-crazy, but it does mitigate it.

Feh: Bailout for Boeing? Well, I try to be loyal to my landsman companies, but these profit-over-lives money worshippers deserve to go blooie – even if they swear on a pile of Boeing 737 Max 8 parts that they won’t spend a penny of it on stock buybacks. I should point out that when the government bailout terms were near completion two days ago, Boeing’s stock skyrocketed. 33 billion dollars to the greatest gathering of corporate assholes in America – the airline industry – while the Blue states are given Green Stamps. And when it comes to buybacks… Continue reading “Weird Scenes 082: What Goes Around… Goes Around… And Around…”

Weird Scenes #081: Visions, Softly Creeping

Weird Scenes #081: Visions, Softly Creeping

DEAD COLLECTOR (Eric Idle): Bring out your dead! / CUSTOMER (John Cleese): Here’s one. / DEAD COLLECTOR: Nine pence. / DEAD PERSON (John Young): I’m not dead! DEAD COLLECTOR: What? / CUSTOMER: Nothing. Here’s your nine pence. / DEAD PERSON: I’m not dead! / DEAD COLLECTOR: ‘Ere. He says he’s not dead! / CUSTOMER: Yes, he is. / DEAD PERSON: I’m not! / DEAD COLLECTOR: He isn’t? / CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon. He’s very ill. / DEAD PERSON: I’m getting better! / CUSTOMER: No, you’re not. You’ll be stone dead in a moment. • Monty Python and The Holy Grail, 1975, written by Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, and Sir Thomas Malory

What… too soon?

I really did not want to write about The Plague. Or Donald Trump, a.k.a. The Other Plague. I wrestled with this while reading texts from my younger friends about waiting outside of Costco for 45 minutes only to be stuck in a 60-minute check-out line behind a plethora of people buying their daily limit of rolled corpses of dead trees. Yeah, no disease spread there, right?

There’s little we can do about stopping The Plague itself, and there’s nothing we can do about The Other Plague until November… assuming The Other Plague grows balls big enough to try to call off the election. My latter comment does not fit the textbook definition of paranoia.

There are other things going on. For example, Tulsi Gabbard just quit the Democratic Party presidential race. I’ll pause while you go Wiki her. Ah, Tulsi, we hardly knew ye. Then again, given her exceptional loathing of the LGBTQ community, we hardly want to. She tossed her massive support – she won two delegates in American Samoa – to Joe Biden, who responded: “Thank you. And you are…?” Continue reading “Weird Scenes #081: Visions, Softly Creeping”

Weird Scenes #080: “I Didn’t Know You Could Die From The Flu.”

Weird Scenes #080: “I Didn’t Know You Could Die From The Flu.”

Right from my toes / On up to my nose / Flow on, flow on, river of shit / I’ve been swimming In this river of shit / More than 20 years, and I’m getting tired of it / Don’t like swimming, hope it’ll soon run dry / Got to go on swimming, cause I don’t want to die. • Wide, Wide River, written by Ken Weaver and Lionel Lewis Goldbart from The Fugs’ 1969 album “It Crawled Into My Hand, Honest.”

Please re-read the headline above. It has quotes around it because, last Friday, the Great Orange Fool said “Over the last long period of time, you have an average of 36,000 people dying (a year) … I never heard those numbers. I would’ve been shocked. I would’ve said, ‘Does anybody die from the flu? I didn’t know people died from the flu.’”

For the record, the President of the United States did not start COVID-19. He has done all he could to spread the disease due to his actions, his inactions, his disgust with science, his jealousy of those more intelligent than he, the way he goes down on the so-called religious voters, and his obligations to Vlad Putin and to those who finance his ventures and have kept him out of prison thus far have reduced the global population to quivering androids of Jell-O without any real clue as to what they should do, except for washing their hands in 120 proof alcohol.

Worst yet – Trump’s actions started long before we ever heard the word “Coronavirus.” In 2018, many of America’s top officials charged with handling pandemics got fired for having dared to have been hired by Barack Obama. Rear Admiral Timothy Ziemer, the National Security Council’s senior director of global health and biodefense, was replaced by giving his responsibilities to that well known health care expert, John Bolton. Not-Doctor-John promptly pushed out Tom Bossert, the NCS adviser who recommended maintaining strong defenses against disease and biological warfare. Continue reading “Weird Scenes #080: “I Didn’t Know You Could Die From The Flu.””

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #079: Weaponizing Nostalgia

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #079: Weaponizing Nostalgia

I used to be on an endless run / Believe in miracles ’cause I’m one / I have been blessed with the power to survive / After all these years I’m still alive • “I Believe In Miracles,” written by
Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey, 1989

Mindless, vicious and deceitful red baiting is not a good look for the Democratic Party. Not even under the cover of NeverTrump.

If you think that Joe Biden kicked Bernie Sanders’ ass because South Carolina is a “more representative” than the previous primary states, then I’ve got a box of used face-masks to sell you. Three top “centrist leaders” quit the race immediately and tossed their support to Biden because, according to the purveyors of Fake News, Barack Obama told them that would unite the party and protect us from a horrible socialist. Each of these doddering hacks said they would be in the race “until the end.”

Well, this is the end, beautiful friend. The end. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #079: Weaponizing Nostalgia”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #078: Shoes For Defense!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #078: Shoes For Defense!

There’s been a swell mantra going around for about six months now, and it goes something like this: Trump is going down in defeat, unless the Democratic Party screws it up – again.

Well, another phrase for “swell mantra” is “self-fulfilling prophecy.” Recently, we have seen two very strong examples of this redundant behavior.

The first is “Yup. The Democratic Party is screwing it up again.

For evidence, you don’t have to go any further than last Tuesday’s “debate.” These things have never, ever been a debate. Ideas are rarely offered and never questioned but always confronted. So, it was to the surprise of only the terminally optimistic that once the field was whittled down to a half-dozen viable candidates (and a couple who hang in there just because of their lack of reality testing) these TeeVee follies have devolved into screaming sessions – with most everybody screaming at the same time as the moderators drown in flop-sweat. To the viewer, who has yet to select among the survivors, such a display evokes our “why bother” reflex. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #078: Shoes For Defense!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #077: Dope Frees Fool

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #077: Dope Frees Fool

Courtesy PUTIN – Pigeons United To Interfere Now.

Hey now, baby / Get into my big black car / Hey now, baby / Get into my big black car / I want to just show you/ What my politics are • Politician, written by Jack Bruce & Pete Brown

If you think Donald Trump’s commuting of impeached Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich after serving a little over half of his 14-year sentence has anything to do with correcting a grave miscarriage of justice, then I’ve got a bridge strutting across New York’s East River to sell you.

Rod was convicted of attempting to sell Barack Obama’s Senate seat when the latter became president. He also was convicted of shaking down the local horse racing industry and the Lurie Children’s Hospital (a.k.a. Children’s Memorial), both for “pay for play” campaign contributions.

Before you get even more bent out of shape over this one, let me correct a common misconception. My Prairie State brethren need not fear being seating next to this felon when their next jury duty demand comes in the mail. Trump did not pardon Blago, he merely commuted his sentence. There’s a difference – according to the Springfield Illinois State Journal-Register (Springfield is the capital of Illinois): “A commutation is a reduction in a prison term but the conviction remains on a person’s record.” He cannot be elected to state office. He’s now an ex-convict. He’s still a felon. He remains a fool. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #077: Dope Frees Fool”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #076: Supremacists Aren’t Responsible For This One

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #076: Supremacists Aren’t Responsible For This One

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.” – William Shakespeare. As said by Cassius to Brutus in Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141), and as said by Edward R. Morrow to America, March 9, 1954.

As much as I’d like to blame the well-fueled white supremacists for everything from the disappearance of Liquid Paper to the snow I probably just drove through this morning in northern Ohio, I cannot blame this one on them. I mean, sure, I could, and I doubt they’re helping any…

In the past two weeks, the drop off in business at Asian restaurants and take-outs across the United States has reached at least as high as 60%. That means that if you owned a nice fusion joint in a shopping strip in a middle-class neighborhood and your rent is due soon, you may be screwed.

I get it. People are worried out of their skulls because of the rapidly-expanding coronavirus plague, and we do wacky stuff when we’re paranoid. We saw similar knee-jerk reactions to 9/11, which ruined Dennis Miller’s relationship with his centrist fans but, nonetheless, gave Joe Biden his all-time best joke: “There’s only three things he (Rudy Giuliani) mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/11.” Ba-dum-bump. But as the fear subsided, so did the many of the more extreme reactions. Well, maybe not in Miller’s case. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #076: Supremacists Aren’t Responsible For This One”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #076: God Bless VespucciLand!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #076: God Bless VespucciLand!

The Indian went walkin’ ‘round and sat upon the hill to watch the sun go down / But he couldn’t find his people, he got up and walked away / And he sat beside the fire, and gave out a sigh / We’re all forgotten now / Where is my tomahawk? / My days are gone / Where is my tent? / Where is my planting ground? / Where is my land? / This reservation’s wrong / Who’s this white man? – written by John Michael Talbot and Terry Nolan Talbot, recorded by Mason Proffit.

The honest answer to the provocative question “Where are Indians from?” is “not from India.” Of course, I’m referring to the India near the Indian Ocean, and I’m referring to people whose roots go back to, or before, the 15th Century.

The area that we call India today consists of several hundred different historical kingdoms lumped into the name Bharat. I can argue in favor of the name Sindhu, which got corrupted into the name Indus. The fact is, Bharat was the unofficial united states of India. Or Hindustan, another faux name. If each individual kingdom that composed India were separate today, there would be some 600 more tables at the United Nations.

There’s a lot more I can say about all this, but the point is, India wasn’t commonly or exclusively called India until the British decided it should be. That was way back in the 17th Century, or about a century or so after Christopher Columbus’s death. So, when he talked about Indians, who was he talking about? Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #076: God Bless VespucciLand!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #075: Fake History, Real Heroes

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #075: Fake History, Real Heroes

Last Saturday saw the fourth annual Women’s Rights Day with demonstrations all over the nation, many in very inclement weather. This year’s march was fueled in part by the calendar: 2020 is the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage, expanding the ability to vote to those without that icky Y chromosome.

I have slightly mixed feeling about that. Every egalitarian victory should be celebrated, but, damn, why should we get all enthused over 144 years of denying half of our population the right to participate in our vaunted democracy? Whereas I can hold a grudge until it screams, we should be educating citizens current and future to all the limitations we have placed on women, including those many that have not been sliced from our massive national discrimination pie.

However, the National Archives celebrates that victory by layering it with a purposely misleading patina of truthiness. They maliciously chose to alter it, and in complete contradiction to their mission, they celebrated women’s suffrage under a veil of lies. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #075: Fake History, Real Heroes”