Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #057: Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used To Be

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #057: Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used To Be

“These are the times that try men’s souls / In the course of our nation’s history the people of Boston have rallied bravely whenever the rights of men have been threatened / Today, a new crisis has arisen” – M.T.A., written by Bess Hawes and Jacqueline Steine.

Spats. Ethyl gas. Municipal steam baths. Mom’s Eats. Necco Wafers. Interurban trains. Screaming Yellow Zonkers. Montgomery Wards. Buggy whips. Magazines and newspapers. Yeah, I’m yelling at the clouds again.

Wait a minute. Magazines and newspapers? They’re still around. Sorta. Kinda. Almost. They’re coughing up blood, but they’re still around… if you know where to look. And while you’re doing that, say hello to Dr. Livingstone for me, will you? Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #057: Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used To Be”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #056: Oh, Yeah. It’s For The Children. Sure.

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #056: Oh, Yeah. It’s For The Children. Sure.

Damn near every time the self-appointed, self-righteous so-called morality mavens are opposed to some significant change in our social structure, they proclaim they’re stopping it “for the children.” If you oppose their efforts, therefore, you must hate children and unless you’re W.C. Fields that means you are evil.

To this, I loudly and profoundly call bullshit. Little kids who can barely read have been marching around carrying placards saying, “I’m sure glad my mother didn’t abort me!” for so long they’re putting those signs in the hands of their own little kids. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #056: Oh, Yeah. It’s For The Children. Sure.”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #055: Mass Murders? It’s the Damn Monkeys!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #055: Mass Murders? It’s the Damn Monkeys!

God, am I dumb. And when I say “god,” I mean that literally. It turns out there’s a viable, meaningful, and always successful way to end our onslaught of mass murders.

Our old pal Tony Perkins – the one who runs the ultra-right-wing Family Research Council, and possibly not the one who wore his mother’s skin in the movies – told Fox News (of course) “It’s time we talk about the result of the left’s systematic march through our institutions, driving religious expression from the public square… It’s tragic and at some point we have to realize we have a problem as a nation, and the problem is not the absence of laws, it’s an absence of morality – really, the result of a decades-long march through the institutions of America, driving religion and God from the public square.”

So, evidently Tony Perkins’ god is a mean bastard who is so pissed that society is not obsessed with his every fart that he enlightens his true believers to shoot up a bunch of heathens and those who happen to be near them. No more pillars of salt, no more floods – well, maybe floods – nope, Tony’s god has gone high-tech. How many people can you slay in 30 seconds, when god is on your side? Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #055: Mass Murders? It’s the Damn Monkeys!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #054: Our New American Reich

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #054: Our New American Reich

But still from near and far to seek America / They came by thousands, to court the wild /But she just patiently smiled, and bore them a child / To be their spirit, and guiding light…
And though the past has its share of injustice / Kind was the spirit in many a way / But its protectors and friends have been sleeping / Now it’s a monster and will not obey
– Monster, written by Jerry Edmonton and John Kay (Steppenwolf), 1969

Alabama State Rep. Tommy Hanes (R-District 23) introduced a resolution during his state Republican summer meeting calling for his state’s representatives in Congress to introduce legislation that would expel Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) from Congress. All but one of his fellow Alabama Republicans voted with him, and that dude was concerned that such a sword could cut both ways, particularly in a Congress with a Democratic Party majority. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised if that guy gets primaried. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #054: Our New American Reich”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #053: The Orange President and his Judenrätes

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #053: The Orange President and his Judenrätes

At long last, the Orange Skull said something with which I agree. Last week he said, “It’s not the gun that pulls the trigger — it’s the person holding the gun

Damn straight, President Pond Scum! I’ve been saying this for decades: It’s not guns that kill, it’s gun owners who kill. Sometimes they kill for good reason. Sometimes they just kill themselves. Sometimes they shoot their dicks off. The Bigot-in-Chief says these people are suffering from mental health issues.

This raises a question. How many people do you have to murder for your work is regarded as that of a madman? Nine? Four? Two?? Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #053: The Orange President and his Judenrätes”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #051: The Truth Will Set You Back

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #051: The Truth Will Set You Back

This might be surprising, and in several ways it’s downright ironic, but I have a strong tendency to disbelieve conspiracy theories. And that was well before the foil-wrapped loonies started blubbering about the adolescent sex slavery ring run out of Washington DC pizza parlor by Hillary Clinton.

Historically speaking, telephones, same-day news, and now most certainly the interwebs have made most conspiracies unnecessary – to the extent that they ever were. In the redundant worlds of the business/legislature complex we can bank on people acting out of mutual self-interest without the need for consultation, coordination and anti-trust laws. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #051: The Truth Will Set You Back”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #050: Shut The Fuck Up!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #050: Shut The Fuck Up!

“Money, it’s a gas / Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash / New car, caviar, four-star daydream / Think I’ll buy me a football team” ¬– Money, Roger Waters, from the Pink Floyd album The Dark Side of the Moon

You knew this was going to happen. We all knew it. It is as surprising as the sun coming up in the sky. It is as mindless as our president.

After four mass shootings in one week – two on the same day – America said “Enough of this shit” and demanded implementation of laws that would stop the sale of automatic weapons and complicate gun sales to the mentally ill, to those under restraining orders, to people on the “no-fly” lists, and to other, similar untrustworthy types. As it turns out, the vast majority of Americans are in favor of these laws, including those who own guns, and have wanted these laws in place for years. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #050: Shut The Fuck Up!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #049: History Gets Into Your Lunch

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #049: History Gets Into Your Lunch

Klan Rally, Portland Oregon, circa 1920s

Yesterday afternoon, my pal The Professor told me all she’s been seeing a bunch of Trump 2020 bumper stickers on cars driving about her community of a sudden, which, by the way, is about a 50-minute drive from Baltimore. If I sussed that one out correctly, she was a bit surprised. This emotion was somewhat buried in her obvious disgust.

I, of course, replied in my typical witty, charming and ironic fashion. “Well, good for them. That’s exactly what I would do in the event I was on the Trump campaign payroll.” The Professor’s response was quite logical.

“What? Really? Why?” she asked. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #049: History Gets Into Your Lunch”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #048: “The Blood of Patriots & Tyrants”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #048: “The Blood of Patriots & Tyrants”

What is tyranny?

As usual, the answer to that is depends upon whose ox is being gored. That is one of the central realities of all existence: we care more if what’s going on has a negative impact upon us directly, or at least upon our sensibilities.

Were I a Muslim, a Puerto Rican, a Somalian, an African-American, a Palestinian, a woman of independent thought, an educated person who knows the differences between “progressive,” “liberal,” “Democratic Party,” “socialist,” and “communist,” or a person who believes that the people who run Fox News or the One America News Network are a gaggle of liars, Supremacists and fascists (look up the word before you take offense – and, then, go ahead and take offense anyway), I consider the present-day “Republican” party and its petty, know-nothing lying self-obsessed leader to be tyrants. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #048: “The Blood of Patriots & Tyrants””

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #047: Racism Is The New Orange

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #047: Racism Is The New Orange

Perhaps you recall way back last Sunday when the most notorious bigot of the 21st Century told four members of the House of Representatives to go back where they came from, where they should be trying to fix those shithole countries (to borrow a phrase he applied to such lands eighteen months ago) instead of annoying him.

The optics aren’t good here, but let’s face it: we are a nation that is completely polarized. This president really could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue near his tacky Trump Tower #1 and not lose support from his base – which is somewhere between one third and two-firths of the American electorate. He could then try to have sex with the bullet hole (to borrow a concept from my old pal and editor Paul Krassner) and, even if he couldn’t get “it” up his base will gladly hold it for him. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #047: Racism Is The New Orange”