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With Further Ado #248: Ithaca College Guest Column Winner – A Look at Toxic Star Wars Fandom

With Further Ado #248: Ithaca College Guest Column Winner – A Look at Toxic Star Wars Fandom

Posted on by Ed Catto

It’s the big finish for that class I teach at Ithaca College that focuses on pop culture, running conventions and entrepreneurism.  Classes have ended and the final is this week.

Here’s our third and winning entry for this year’s column contest. Nina Singh is an impressive student, and a good writer too. I think her column will give you something to think about!

Congrats on a great year, Nina.

***

Star Wars Toxicity: A Look at Lizzo’s Backlash and Beyond

By: Nina Singh

Lizzo as Duchess Bombardier

It is a sad reality that many Star Wars fans have devolved into a toxic and intolerant community. This became apparent yet again when Lizzo, a popular musician and actress, appeared in an episode of The Mandalorian. The backlash against her casting is a prime example of how some fans have lost sight of what it means to be a true fan of the franchise.

For those who are unfamiliar with The Mandalorian, it is a popular Disney+ show set in the Star Wars universe. It follows the adventures of a bounty hunter named Din Djarin, who is also known as the Mandalorian. In one of the recent episodes, Lizzo made a brief appearance as Duchess Bombardier, one of the glamorous and wealthy rulers of Plazir-15, an independent planet. Continue reading “With Further Ado #248: Ithaca College Guest Column Winner – A Look at Toxic Star Wars Fandom” →

As Is: The Crack of the Whip

As Is: The Crack of the Whip

Posted on by Mike Gold

The babe in his cradle is closing his eyes, the blossom embraces the bee. But, soon, says a whisper “Arise, arise! Tomorrow belongs to me.” – German folk song “Tomorrow Belongs To Me,” adapted by John Kander.

From what I perceive, TikTok is not an app intended for me. The younger we are, the more juvenile we act, which is also known as “duh…” To me, TikTok is the home-game version of Jackass.

And if you get that joke, you, too, are too old for TikTok. It appears the members of the legislature of the state of Montana also are too old for TikTok. They just banned the use of the app throughout the state.

OK, a lot of state legislatures have done far worse stuff over the past, oh, two weeks. Are you listening, you bigoted Tennessee crackers? Probably not. However, there are understandable reasons for wanting to ban this product. TikTok is owned by a Chinese company named ByteDance, which calls Red China its home. Technically, it exists at the government’s pleasure. TikTok strip-mines personal information so effectively you’d think they were owned by Google or Facebook. That makes TikTok as great a security risk as, well, Google and Facebook, and that is not good. Continue reading “As Is: The Crack of the Whip” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Are YOU… Verified?

Brainiac On Banjo: Are YOU… Verified?

Posted on by Mike Gold

Trumpets and violins I can hear in the distance, I think they’re calling our names. Maybe now you can’t hear them, but you will. — Jimi Hendrix, Are You Experienced?

I suspect you’ve heard of Meta, but if you haven’t, it has nothing to do with DC superheroes. Less than nothing, when you think about it. “Meta” is the incredibly stupid and highly misleading name that Facebook and Instagram owner “Mort” Zuckerberg gave to his company in late 2021.

Meta is an evil corporation. They follow you wherever you go on line. When you use their stuff, they record where you are, who you are, where you go, what you like, who you like, what you buy, when you’re not home, when you are home, your credit card numbers, your phone numbers and your email addresses and those of your friends. If you masturbate, they know which is your favored hand and if you do not, they’ve got pills and ointments to sell you. I do not know if they have recorded the date and time of your last bowel movement, but I have asked. These bastards have more on each of us than the FBI ever had on John Gotti.

Now Zuck has figured out a way to screw us out of another $150 or so a year, thrusting his grimy waxed paw so deep into our pockets he now has an imprint of our car keys. It is quite impressive that he has chosen to follow the lead of the biggest, most obnoxious and cheesiest hustler who does not yet hold elective office. Then again, who among us would be surprised to discover Elon Musk and George Santos are, were, or soon will be the same person? Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Are YOU… Verified?” →

Superman Is Going to Congress

Posted on by Bob Harrison

As the current House of Representatives chaos continues, comic fans have a very niche reason to look forward to the conclusion of the seemingly endless stream of votes for the next Speaker of the House. Thanks to freshman congressman Robert Garcia of California, there will be finally be some quality reading material in the House of Representatives chamber.

As most people should know, Members of Congress swear an oath to uphold and defend the Constitution upon being seated. That oath can be sworn on whatever the member deems important to them. Most choose a bible or other type of religious book, but Mr. Garcia has finagled quite the prize for him to swear in on. Continue reading “Superman Is Going to Congress” →

As Is: Bringing The War Home

Posted on by Mike Gold

Responding to a query in Parliament yesterday asking why the United Kingdom has massed over 285,000 troops along the United States / Canada border, Prime Minister Boris Johnson told the MPs “Well, Her Majesty and I were having a nice tea-time chat up in the Palace and we got around to that kerfuffle over in Ukraine. It occurred to us that perhaps Mr. Putin has a good point.

“Therefore, we have decided to follow in Mr. Putin’s footsteps and reclaim our colonies, beginning with the United States. We’ve never truly acknowledged any so-called right to be independent, either in the rebel States or, for that matter, in India or the Caribbean.

“We’re starting with the colonies because of our strong common heritage,” Prime Minister Johnson continued. “The frontierspeople west of the Atlantic pond continue to speak the Queen’s tongue, which clearly shows were their loyalties lay. The British legal system which dates back to Anglo-Saxon times remains the backbone of colonial law. In fact, the colonial subjects continue to employ the British weights and measurements that were in effect in 1776, even though much of the rest of the world went metric during the final years of the last millennium.

“Clearly, the colonial rebels are much more faithful at holding on to British traditions than we are,” Johnson noted.

“Of course, Great Britain is a nuclear power but there’s no need to dwell on that at this time. We expect the stalwart subjects of Her Majesty will welcome us with cheers, baked goods, warm lager and boiled beef,” the PM concluded.

This threat comes at a critical time for both Canadians and American colonists as this is maple syrup season. If the border is closed, Americans will have little to put on their waffles other than chicken fat. On the other hand, if Great Britain dumps all of Canada’s unsold syrup into Niagara Falls, they can set global tourism back several centuries.

The French have yet to comment in public, but it is believed they have been in deep talks with the Quebecois in and around Montreal. However, the Gaullists have been on record since the 1970s that they may decide to use their nuclear arsenal first in order to maintain its security and interests.

Independent American senator Bernie Sanders responded “there is a silver lining here, as at last American citizens will be covered by a national health system. It’s not perfect, of course, but it’s better than dying in the gutter with Josh Hawley pissing on you.”

As of this writing, the only American official who has gone on record is Congressfool Marjorie Taylor Greene, who stated “if this so-called Queen and her enslaved stormtroopers think they can push real Christian Americans around, they’ve got another think coming. They’re all a bunch of homosexuals anyway, so we know God isn’t on their side. He hates the damn Brits. Even Hitler agreed. I’m calling for an immediate embargo on Yorkshire pudding, which can invigorate their Jewish space lasers.

In response, Russian Emperor Vlad Putin issued an imperial smirk and returned with his cat to the horse he rode in on.

Brainiac On Banjo: Incels – America’s Pathetic Little Bitches

Posted on by Mike Gold

“Better look around you before you say you don’t care. Shut your fuckin’ mouth about the length of my hair. How would you survive if you were alive, shitty little person?” Frank Zappa, The Mother People (the censored verse)

We think of the U.S. Secret Service as the government agency that protects our federal leaders, “bona fide” presidential candidates, and members of their families. They also keep watch on various aspects of the American financial superstructure, including in cyberspace.

I await their move to shut down a con game so massive it makes the spirit of Charles Ponzi cross his legs in shame; that, of course, being cryptocurrency. Anybody who falls for that one deserves to be ripped off. But I digress.

It comes as a pleasant surprise that the Secret Service’s National Threat Assessment Center (NTAC) has taken on the threat of the incel, proving once again that Ronald Reagan was full of shit when he denounced federal employees. In case you don’t know or aren’t clear, “incel” stands for “involuntary celibate.” That’s a bunch of guys way too self-centered, insecure, and socially inept that they think that women have some sort of obligation to fuck them no matter how self-centered, insecure, socially inept, morally offensive and pathetically obnoxious they are. Incels think there’s some sort of contract that obligate women to put out for them.

This should not come as a surprise to those of us males who have attended even but a few pop culture conventions. This cannot come as a surprise to the vast majority of women.

As the Secret Service has shown us, these troglodytes can be violent and, at times, deadly.

The Guardian details several such incidents quoted in the NTAC report. This excerpt details one that illustrates incels are not simply frustrated middle-aged man-children with perpetual boners. “The report also cites the 2020 murder of the son of a US district court judge, Esther Salas, who was killed by 72-year-old Roy Den Hollander, a self-described ‘anti-feminist lawyer’ who believed ‘manhood is in serious jeopardy in America.’”

Let us not forget that there is a portion of the American right, and yes, I’m talking to you, asshole Republican Senator from Missouri Josh Hawley, you fucking nincompoop, who believe that the great American manhood has been severely weakened by feminists, video games and online pornography. Nope. I hate to tell you, Josh, but that great American manhood has been severely weakened by a bunch of dangerous whiny little bitches just like you.

As Frank Zappa states above, incels are not paying attention. You don’t have to look like Bruce Wayne at the gym in order to get laid by a woman. You have to be a fairly reasonable human. If I can get laid, guys, you can get laid.

If it appears as though I consider these incels to be the most vile and contemptable form of morlocks, well, congratulations. Either your appreciation of the English language is spot on, or your online translator works like a charm.

“Lemme take a minute and tell you my plan, lemme take a minute and tell who I am. If it doesn’t show, think you better know, I’m another person.” Ibid.

As Is: Stamp Collecting In Ukraine

Posted on by Mike Gold

When I was a kid, I collected stamps. This was worthy as it exacerbated my study of American history and culture and helped make me the wanton hoarder I am today.

I suspect that’s no longer a big deal with kids today, given the fact that I used to know of about a dozen walk-in stamp collectors stores back in the day and only one of them remain today, and that one seems to be devoted to underpaying desperate people for their family jewels. But, maybe, just maybe, people are still into stamp collecting in Ukraine.

Those folks may be (well, most certainly are) outgunned, outmanned, and outraged, but they have not lost their sense of humor. According to The Guardian, the government decided to issue a “go fuck yourself, Russian warship” postage stamp.

No kidding.

For those who came in late, a few weeks ago the Russians challenged the Ukrainians at Snake Island in the Black Sea. The audio transcript reads thusly:

Russians: This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed and unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you’ll be bombed.

Ukrainians: Russian warship, go fuck yourself.

According to published reports, the Russians declined that request and slaughtered the Ukrainians. The trade magazine Maritime Executive reports the Russian navy is reported to have bombarded the island with deck guns before sending their soldiers to take control and those chiropractically-challenged Ukrainians were killed. Since then, some doubt has been cast on this latter event and there has been no confirmation either way. When David faces Goliath, hope must reign supreme.

I’m not even certain Ukraine has the ability to print stamps – at least, not in Ukraine. I’m less certain they have a functioning post office, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had something. After all, this is the nation that last week told its citizens that if they capture or claim a Russian tank, they don’t have to declare it on their taxes.

Yes, folks, Jewish comedians should run all former Soviet bloc nations. Americans need not worry; Jews will not replace the government… unless you’re one of those astonishingly deaf, dumb and blind right-wingers who believe Jews already run all governments and banks. Obviously, that can’t be true.

But if Ukraine does fall Zelensky becomes a martyr, the rest of the world does the right thing and Putin dies on Snake Island, the Ukrainians will return to what’s left of their homes and rebuild.

Given their gift for humor, they might want to rename the place “Freedonia.”

As Is: Evil Is As Evil Does

As Is: Evil Is As Evil Does

Posted on by Mike Gold

I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis quite clearly. A year before the assassination of President Kennedy and two years before Premier Khrushchev’s ouster, it was an extremely scary time. I was a politically precocious twelve-year old. Little did we know what was ahead of us.

The global response to Vlad Putin’s war on the former USSR occupied nations has been quite hopeful, and the response inside Ukraine has been truly inspirational. America should take note and elect a genuine Jewish comedian as president.

The domestic response has been rather quiet. It’s clear most Americans are far more concerned with an increase in gas prices than they are with World War III. This is not surprising, but it is truly disgusting. Do our greedy self-centered very stupid fellow citizens think Putin was just Trumping around when he threatened nuclear war — twice in one week? Do these greedy self-centered very stupid fellow citizens not remember how Hitler invaded Poland under the same pretext, and how Russian premier Joe Stalin joined Hitler in that endeavor two weeks later?

We live in a nation of Elmer Fudds, and I don’t think we have what it takes to become a bunch of Bugs Bunnys.

We don’t want to think Putin will nuke anybody, but even some of his pals have come out and said Putie has lost his mind. This is an attitude that is prerequisite to starting a nuclear war. Let us recall the days when he (evidently) still had his mind; even then, his pressing the Big Red Button wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. Putin does not want to restore the Soviet Union. Too many Americans still think “Russia” is synonymous with Communism; it is not. Today, the Russian Republic is synonymous with Putin, and Putin is synonymous with Stalin. Joe Stalin wasn’t a Communist. Joe Stalin was a Stalinist.

And what makes our indigenous morons think that Putin will stop with Ukraine? Or Kazakhstan? Or Lithuania? Or Georgia? Or Poland? Or Finland, or Sweden? These days Santayana makes Einstein look like a dimwit.

Putin is counting on the Trumpsters regaining Congress and then the sanctions will go away and he can climax his dictatorial wet dreams. He may be right about that. We’ve got to Bin Laden him immediately and keep the bigoted anti-democratic Republican party away from his oligarchs and their massive mountains of money.

It’s true that many of the Russian people have taken on great risk by speaking out and demonstrating against Putin, and these are very, very courageous people. True heroes. Please remember he’s got the job until 2036, he’s got the military, he’s certainly got the money and he’s got enough nukes to keep Ernst Blofeld up nights.

It is high time we ended the menace of Vlad Putin and his gaseous oligarchs. As Putin keeps on telling us, the alternative could very well be a whole lotta mushroom clouds. That’s not a risk worth taking. Ever.

Back in the days if the Cuban Missile Crisis, we saved the planet by cutting a deal with Nikita Khrushchev: we removed our nukes from Turkey and he removed his nukes from Cuba. Vlad Putin is not as reasonable as Khrushchev.

As Is by Mike Gold – 9-11 Part Two

Posted on by Mike Gold

After two decades, the 9-11 terrorists finally cemented their victory. They did so 366 days ago this very day

The victory has been the result of the chain reaction they must have hoped for in 2001: that by mounting attacks from Boston on New York and Washington, slamming into the Pentagon building and taking down our nation’s greatest warehouse of capitalism, we might unite for a few minutes but overall but our fear and the distrust inherent within a mongrel nation quickly would vomit down upon us and we Americans would turn on each other just as we always do.

That’s the textbook definition of terrorism; that’s why terrorism is an effective course of action for those willing to play the long game.

Steve Bannon © Bill Sienkiewicz.

The time was perfect for The Impossible Pussy, Donald J. Trump, and his criminally paranoid minions of White Supremacists to try to take over the nation. I don’t think they could have gotten as far as they have – their efforts remain a work in progress – if not for Osama bin Laden, the heart and soul of the contemporary Republican Party.

Critically, this White Supremacist Republican takeover of the United States of America by any means necessary (it’s not a coup as it’s hardly been bloodless, and only some White Supremacists think it has been bloodless) is indeed just the beginning. They stand every chance of succeeding. A handful of White Christian Republican far right-wing monsters and perverts can deny the people their vote or can overturn that vote at will. That, my friends, is a dictatorship.

You may think comparing the American White Right to Hitler is a cheap shot; it is not. Read some history. Not FoxOneAmericaBannon history where teaching the lessons of slavery might bruise the fragile feelings of some neurotic Youth Corps-raised White children and therefore must not be taught, but the real thing. The American White Republican Right is desperately and militantly trying to fulfill Adolf Hitler’s dream – no matter how many White American soldiers and sailors died in the fight to stop the fascist dictator. And, today, the American White Right Republicans have managed to label “anti-fascists” as our great evil.

These people know better. In their initial response to the first assault on our nation back on January 6 2021, the actions and inactions of Donald J. Trump and his White Supremacist Republican sycophants were condemned by such stalwart Republican masters as Mitch McConnell, Kevin McCarthy, Mike Pence, Lindsey Graham, and Nikki Haley. Since then, those comments have been sent to the Star Trek mirror universe. Oh, no. McConnell, McCarthy, Pence, Graham and Haley never said anything bad about Trump. That would be heretical. Trump is god; what he does is by definition for the greater good of Real America… the White Christian Republican America.

The present Republican party is the party of bigotry, hatred, and treason. Their masters are McConnell, McCarthy, Pence, Graham, Haley and Trump. We better obey the All-Mighty Trump if we want to breathe right.

Today is the 366th day of the Second American Civil War. It did not start pretty; it will not end pretty… if it ends at all. I wouldn’t bet against the United States of America not being around when and if it’s over. It won’t be a north vs. south thing, it won’t be a state-by-state thing, it will be a city-state operation where those areas dominated by people who are not White Christian Republican Supremacists will replace our “blue” states, leaving the vast dry oceans of American hatred to be our “red” states. You’ll be able to tell where you are by the number of masks worn on the streets, the availability of women’s health services, the number of non-Christian houses of worship, a general acknowledgement of deductive reasoning and the respect for the principles that were the firmament of that great nation, that Camelot-like place on hill that we used to call the United States of America.

You may have a different opinion… but you would be wrong.

Brainiac On Banjo: Ku Klux Luthor For President?

Posted on by Mike Gold

I just returned from a week-long driving trip to Chicago, hanging out with friends while doing as little work as possible. I used to do this three times a tear, but I haven’t for the past 21 months because, you know, Covid.

The driving part is, for me, wonderfully relaxing. I control the music, I nosh on tons of life-saving unhealthy food, and I get to enjoy long internal conversations with the one person who totally gets me. This time, while plowing through north central Ohio, my thoughts drifted towards Lex Luthor and the frightening growth of the white separatist movements. Now, before you can scream “oxymoron” let me state internal conversations often are 100 miles short of reality. It’s my brain, damn it, and it’s time I indulged it.

Back in 1961, DC published what I believe was the first story titled “The Death of Superman.” It said so right on the cover, which kinda gave away the ending. It was an “imaginary story,” meaning it didn’t really happen. Compare this with Marvel’s later What If? stories, which I gather really did happen…. somewhere.

To illustrate this bit of comic book logic: DC did not publish a series of Death of Superman comics based upon this imaginary story — they rebooted the concept many, many times, often under the same title. On the other hand, this March Marvel will be coming out with a Captain Carter series based upon the first What If? teevee episode. Reality is what happens between the staples.

In this imaginary story, Lex Luthor is pardoned from all crimes after inventing a cure for cancer. That made sense to me at the time because I was barely 11 years old when I read it at the counter of Normie’s Deli while consuming a plate of french fries and a glass of Green River. It didn’t occur to me at the time how the hell Lex actually could come up with a cure for cancer while incarcerated. Penal reform, I guess.

Upon his release, Lex buckled down to his real plan: killing the Man of Steel. SPOILER ALERT: In this story, titled The Death of Superman, Lex Luthor’s nefarious scheme was successful.

Being in 21st century Ohio, I wondered what would have happened had Lex Luthor been a Trumpster white supremacist.

In the original story, Luthor was beloved for coming up with the cancer cure — perhaps it did not involve getting a vaccine injection. He lost that love after murdering Superman. Go figure. But in my more contemporary scenario, I suspect about one-third of Americans, those who are avowed Trumpster while supremacists, would be quite happy about Luthor’s newfound prerogative.

Undoubtably, Lex would be invited to guest on Steve Bannon’s podcast. He might get his own television show on one of the lying far-right wing fake news networks. He’d go on tour raising money for Trump. He could even become the new Rush Limbaugh.

Indeed, I suspect Donald Trump would pick Lex Luthor as his vice-presidential candidate in 2024. If you think about it, this might be a grave mistake on Trump’s part — with emphasis on the term “grave.”

I mean, WTF, Lex just killed that not-white alien Superman. Killing anybody else would be no big deal. Luthor could be a better Trumpster than Trump himself.

We would have President Lex Luthor which, as I recall, happened in DC’s not-imaginary stories. These sagas, by definition, really happened.

It doesn’t take a political wag to note the Republican party would be fine with this. They are fine with the invasion of the Capitol building by violent insurrectionists, they care fine with eliminating, oh, school programs, health programs, social security, Medicare, abortion, and poverty programs in order to give the wealthiest of the wealthy another cut in the taxes they don’t pay anyway. That’s how these bastards roll.

The man who edited that original Death of Superman, Mort Weisinger, was a friend (of sorts) of the Kennedy administration, so perhaps he would not have green-lit this saga. But that way then.

This is now, and that story doesn’t seem so extreme today.