Tag: Donald Trump

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #066: Has It Come To This?

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #066: Has It Come To This?

Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman

Here’s the latest sign of the apocalypse. Yes, it has come down to this – I, Mike Gold, whose Twitter handle is “@creepymikegold,” am the one lecturing on manners. Don’t start reading any continued stories, folks. Obviously, the end is nigh.

I totally understand why the Trumpublicans put their xenophobic, racist, sexist, narcissistic, treasonous habitual liar ahead of the security of the United States of America and its people. Most of us who aren’t them are the prodigy of immigrants and similar ne’er-do-wells, and some of us are poor, old, in lousy health and/or unwilling to work for fifty cents an hour. But does the Rabid Right have to be so damn rude about it?

Marie Yovanovitch

These numbnuts are trying to belittle, on national television, those who have honored this country by putting their bodies between the legions of evil and the Americans of great wealth. Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman and top West Point graduate / Vietnam War vet / Ambassador to Ukraine William Taylor testified before the impeachment hearings this past week, along with other valiant witnesses including (to name but two) Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch and National Security Council official Fiona Hill. These genuine heroes put it all on the line for truth, justice and the American way… and I mean that sincerely, without a shred of sarcasm.

But are the maniacal Trumpublicans grateful? Of course not. The patriots who have earned their chops the hard way in order to keep America great – and to keep America in business – have been maligned as prevaricators: dishonest “never-Trumpers” who are acting relentlessly against the desires and prattling fabrications uttered by the xenophobic, racist, sexist, narcissistic, treasonous habitual liar-in-chief, the one person who best symbolizes all that is wrong and likely could ever be wrong about humanity.

Pull My Finger

The witnesses we have heard from in these hearings have created an oil painting out of the venn diagrams that chronicle the criminal actions of the Orange Traitor from Hell. They put their reputations and their careers on the line, their safety and the safety of their families in jeopardy and have voluntarily run up huge legal bills with little means of reward or gain. Believe me, there are easier ways for such honored people to get a book deal without incurring one-tenth of the risk.

Why do they do this? Because they hate Trump? Hating the president is a great American tradition; ask any Trumpublican how they felt about Barack Obama. I’m not the least bit convinced these witnesses hate the treasonous bastard in the nice house by the Potomac River. They love America. They spent a lifetime fighting under her flag. They made sacrifices that their detractors wouldn’t even consider making even if you held a gun to their kids’ heads, and they accomplished great good for this nation – stuff that, by and large, is being dismantled right now by history’s most notorious liar.

Pffft!

Show these patriots the respect they have earned. Show us all some class for a change. You clowns are rich enough; I’m sure you can buy some respect at Chick-fil-A or whatever joint your clan hangs out at these days.

The Right often has expressed anguish at how the Left loves the smell of their own farts. There’s some truth to this… but, clearly, self-righteous methane re-consumption is well-tolerated by yin and yang alike.

Manners are a contract: you obey these simple rules, and you might avoid pissing someone off who can complicate your life. The handshake proves the person you just met isn’t holding a knife.

So, in the spirit of good manners, at the end of the day, after all is said and done, I’m left with just one thought.

Hey, Devin Nunes! Blow me!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #061: ENOUGH!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #061: ENOUGH!

To the best of my recollection, the first time I was embarrassed to be an American was about 40 years ago. There was a severe drought going on in California, and one of their officials proposed we build a pipeline from the Great Lakes to help them out.

Forgot about how Californians would have been reduced to cinders long before such a pipeline could be built and put into service. The United States does not own our vast Inter-Ocean. All that fresh water borders on Canada as well as the States, and much of their population lives within about 20 miles of the live-giving wetness. Even a fairly slight drop in the water level would wreak havoc with the people and the economies of, among other places, Toronto, Montreal, Winnipeg, and Windsor.

It would severely undermine navigation, traumatize and end navigation on the St. Lawrence Seaway. By the way, it would have a similar effect on the people of, among other places, Detroit, Duluth, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cleveland, Buffalo, and Erie. If you’re unfamiliar with the map — yes, I’m talking to you, my fellow New Yorkers — check it out. The Great Lakes are directly linked to the Mississippi River, part of a network that includes, oh, the Ohio River, the Missouri River, and much of Mark Twain’s work. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #061: ENOUGH!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #060: The Man Who Destroyed Time

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #060: The Man Who Destroyed Time

“It starts when you’re always afraid.” – Stephen Stills, For What It’s Worth

At first, I thought it was just another sign of senility. You gotta expect that, I guess. Then, I thought I was having one of those LSD flashbacks I was promised a half-century ago. I briefly considered the possibility I slipped through a hole in the time-space continuum, but, damn, no such luck. I had to face the truth.

Donald J. Trump destroyed my sense of time.

And I am not alone. Not by any means. I might even be in the majority; that’s a unique experience for me. Certainly, you’ve noticed this yourself. If you watch any of the talking heads panel shows, you’ve heard others bitch about this. You’ll hear of something Trump did yesterday – yesterday! – and you’ll say to yourself “Oh, yeah. Damn. I thought that happened a couple weeks ago!”

It’s not disconcerting the first time, but after a while (obviously, sooner than you think) you begin to think of senility, flashbacks – if you’re a geriatric hippie – and that time warp thing. Once to accept the truth, you just shake your head, shrug your shoulders, and wonder if you can hold on until this particular Joker is gone. Even if you’re part of the 55% of Americans who disapprove of him, you’ve got to face this important fact:

Donald J. Trump broke time. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #060: The Man Who Destroyed Time”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #059: Beneath Contempt and Beyond the Pale

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #059: Beneath Contempt and Beyond the Pale

The Democratic Party keeps on telling us that most Americans are too stupid to understand the different between impeachment and an impeachment trial. Underestimating the public and coming off as if they are smarter than the average citizen is among the Democrat’s greatest failings, and, clearly, they have not learned the most important lesson from the 2016 campaign.

Like just about everything else, there’s some truth to this one, but it’s overstated. The impeachment process is easy to understand: the House acts as a grand jury, the Senate acts as the jury. It’s just that simple. Instead of calling the electorate ignorant, the Democrats should adopt this line as their mantra. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #059: Beneath Contempt and Beyond the Pale”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #058: Counting Noses.

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #058: Counting Noses.

Willie Sutton

In case you’re thinking about a career in politics – and if so, there might be something seriously wrong with you – here’s the most important skill you will need to perfect. You will need to know how to count noses.

We have exactly two political parties. There is nothing in the Constitution about political parties, and therefore there is nothing in our establishing document limiting us to two. From time to time a new party starts up and takes its best shot but they just wind up splitting the vote. By way of example, if a person with ideals that tend to appeal to Democrats runs for president, it is possible that the newbie will strip away enough Democratic votes to throw the election to the Republicans, or vice versa. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #058: Counting Noses.”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #053: The Orange President and his Judenrätes

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #053: The Orange President and his Judenrätes

At long last, the Orange Skull said something with which I agree. Last week he said, “It’s not the gun that pulls the trigger — it’s the person holding the gun

Damn straight, President Pond Scum! I’ve been saying this for decades: It’s not guns that kill, it’s gun owners who kill. Sometimes they kill for good reason. Sometimes they just kill themselves. Sometimes they shoot their dicks off. The Bigot-in-Chief says these people are suffering from mental health issues.

This raises a question. How many people do you have to murder for your work is regarded as that of a madman? Nine? Four? Two?? Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #053: The Orange President and his Judenrätes”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #051: The Truth Will Set You Back

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #051: The Truth Will Set You Back

This might be surprising, and in several ways it’s downright ironic, but I have a strong tendency to disbelieve conspiracy theories. And that was well before the foil-wrapped loonies started blubbering about the adolescent sex slavery ring run out of Washington DC pizza parlor by Hillary Clinton.

Historically speaking, telephones, same-day news, and now most certainly the interwebs have made most conspiracies unnecessary – to the extent that they ever were. In the redundant worlds of the business/legislature complex we can bank on people acting out of mutual self-interest without the need for consultation, coordination and anti-trust laws. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #051: The Truth Will Set You Back”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #050: Shut The Fuck Up!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #050: Shut The Fuck Up!

“Money, it’s a gas / Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash / New car, caviar, four-star daydream / Think I’ll buy me a football team” ¬– Money, Roger Waters, from the Pink Floyd album The Dark Side of the Moon

You knew this was going to happen. We all knew it. It is as surprising as the sun coming up in the sky. It is as mindless as our president.

After four mass shootings in one week – two on the same day – America said “Enough of this shit” and demanded implementation of laws that would stop the sale of automatic weapons and complicate gun sales to the mentally ill, to those under restraining orders, to people on the “no-fly” lists, and to other, similar untrustworthy types. As it turns out, the vast majority of Americans are in favor of these laws, including those who own guns, and have wanted these laws in place for years. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #050: Shut The Fuck Up!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #048: “The Blood of Patriots & Tyrants”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #048: “The Blood of Patriots & Tyrants”

What is tyranny?

As usual, the answer to that is depends upon whose ox is being gored. That is one of the central realities of all existence: we care more if what’s going on has a negative impact upon us directly, or at least upon our sensibilities.

Were I a Muslim, a Puerto Rican, a Somalian, an African-American, a Palestinian, a woman of independent thought, an educated person who knows the differences between “progressive,” “liberal,” “Democratic Party,” “socialist,” and “communist,” or a person who believes that the people who run Fox News or the One America News Network are a gaggle of liars, Supremacists and fascists (look up the word before you take offense – and, then, go ahead and take offense anyway), I consider the present-day “Republican” party and its petty, know-nothing lying self-obsessed leader to be tyrants. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #048: “The Blood of Patriots & Tyrants””

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #047: Racism Is The New Orange

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #047: Racism Is The New Orange

Perhaps you recall way back last Sunday when the most notorious bigot of the 21st Century told four members of the House of Representatives to go back where they came from, where they should be trying to fix those shithole countries (to borrow a phrase he applied to such lands eighteen months ago) instead of annoying him.

The optics aren’t good here, but let’s face it: we are a nation that is completely polarized. This president really could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue near his tacky Trump Tower #1 and not lose support from his base – which is somewhere between one third and two-firths of the American electorate. He could then try to have sex with the bullet hole (to borrow a concept from my old pal and editor Paul Krassner) and, even if he couldn’t get “it” up his base will gladly hold it for him. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #047: Racism Is The New Orange”