Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #053: The Orange President and his Judenrätes

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #053: The Orange President and his Judenrätes

At long last, the Orange Skull said something with which I agree. Last week he said, “It’s not the gun that pulls the trigger — it’s the person holding the gun

Damn straight, President Pond Scum! I’ve been saying this for decades: It’s not guns that kill, it’s gun owners who kill. Sometimes they kill for good reason. Sometimes they just kill themselves. Sometimes they shoot their dicks off. The Bigot-in-Chief says these people are suffering from mental health issues.

This raises a question. How many people do you have to murder for your work is regarded as that of a madman? Nine? Four? Two?? Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #053: The Orange President and his Judenrätes”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #051: The Truth Will Set You Back

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #051: The Truth Will Set You Back

This might be surprising, and in several ways it’s downright ironic, but I have a strong tendency to disbelieve conspiracy theories. And that was well before the foil-wrapped loonies started blubbering about the adolescent sex slavery ring run out of Washington DC pizza parlor by Hillary Clinton.

Historically speaking, telephones, same-day news, and now most certainly the interwebs have made most conspiracies unnecessary – to the extent that they ever were. In the redundant worlds of the business/legislature complex we can bank on people acting out of mutual self-interest without the need for consultation, coordination and anti-trust laws. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #051: The Truth Will Set You Back”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #050: Shut The Fuck Up!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #050: Shut The Fuck Up!

“Money, it’s a gas / Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash / New car, caviar, four-star daydream / Think I’ll buy me a football team” ¬– Money, Roger Waters, from the Pink Floyd album The Dark Side of the Moon

You knew this was going to happen. We all knew it. It is as surprising as the sun coming up in the sky. It is as mindless as our president.

After four mass shootings in one week – two on the same day – America said “Enough of this shit” and demanded implementation of laws that would stop the sale of automatic weapons and complicate gun sales to the mentally ill, to those under restraining orders, to people on the “no-fly” lists, and to other, similar untrustworthy types. As it turns out, the vast majority of Americans are in favor of these laws, including those who own guns, and have wanted these laws in place for years. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #050: Shut The Fuck Up!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #048: “The Blood of Patriots & Tyrants”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #048: “The Blood of Patriots & Tyrants”

What is tyranny?

As usual, the answer to that is depends upon whose ox is being gored. That is one of the central realities of all existence: we care more if what’s going on has a negative impact upon us directly, or at least upon our sensibilities.

Were I a Muslim, a Puerto Rican, a Somalian, an African-American, a Palestinian, a woman of independent thought, an educated person who knows the differences between “progressive,” “liberal,” “Democratic Party,” “socialist,” and “communist,” or a person who believes that the people who run Fox News or the One America News Network are a gaggle of liars, Supremacists and fascists (look up the word before you take offense – and, then, go ahead and take offense anyway), I consider the present-day “Republican” party and its petty, know-nothing lying self-obsessed leader to be tyrants. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #048: “The Blood of Patriots & Tyrants””

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #047: Racism Is The New Orange

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #047: Racism Is The New Orange

Perhaps you recall way back last Sunday when the most notorious bigot of the 21st Century told four members of the House of Representatives to go back where they came from, where they should be trying to fix those shithole countries (to borrow a phrase he applied to such lands eighteen months ago) instead of annoying him.

The optics aren’t good here, but let’s face it: we are a nation that is completely polarized. This president really could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue near his tacky Trump Tower #1 and not lose support from his base – which is somewhere between one third and two-firths of the American electorate. He could then try to have sex with the bullet hole (to borrow a concept from my old pal and editor Paul Krassner) and, even if he couldn’t get “it” up his base will gladly hold it for him. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #047: Racism Is The New Orange”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #027: The Deplorables Across The Street

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #027: The Deplorables Across The Street

According to John Oliver, 40% of the American public believe those cash-grabbing idiots you see on teevee really can communicate with the dead.

And, in a poll taken this century, as many as 20% of the American public believe the lunar landings were faked.

Worse, 23% believe vaccines that save people’s lives are so dangerous they refuse to let their kids be inoculated. These virulent Luddites are willing to bet your kid’s life to prove it. I don’t mind the Flat-Earth science deniers killing themselves off, but they should keep it to themselves. It’s the polite thing to do.

Do you sense a trend here? Is it any wonder that slightly more than one-third of the electorate, on average, still support Donald Trump?

Now, you just might think I’m calling these people dumb. Well… I’m sure most of them are at least fairly knowledgeable in sundry specific areas, but certainly not about civics, American history, or mathematics.

Mathematics, you ask? You betcha, I respond. These people do not understand that 60% is significantly larger than 40%. In political campaigns a 20% margin is more than a landslide – it’s an earthquake. When it comes to these three areas, I see people but I know they’re really door knobs. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #027: The Deplorables Across The Street”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #026: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #026: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Forget, if you can, his incessant self-serving ego-pandering tweets. Forget his strange fetish for violent dictators. His continuous denial of scientific fact. His rampant bigotry and his classic xenophobia. And stop wasting your time trying to decode his nefarious master plan, starting with his Black Floyd Wall. A plan of any sort does not exist. It never did.

I know. You can’t forget. Something about the fate of the world and you’re still young and / or you have kids or at least you’re thinking about it. To quote once again Lenny Bruce: “Yadda yadda yadda.” The fact is, so many of Donald Trump’s plans and propositions are nakedly stupid. We all suffer from the pains of the Law of Unintended Consequences; that’s human nature, or fate, or karma — whatever; your mileage may vary. What I mean here is stupid. So stupid that even Ike Broflovski knows it, and he’s in kindergarten.

Which is why, this week, my respect for German Chancellor Angela Merkel hit a new high.

First, a technical consideration. Chancellor Merkel discussed the sheer stupidity of Trump’s tariffs policy before the Munich Security Conference. She was a complete professional, combining many contradicting emotions — befuddlement, bewilderment, anger, fear, and complete disbelief – into one, long television-friendly wince. That is not easy to do. I’ve done a lot of public speaking, and I know how tough that is. Give it a try. Don’t hurt yourself. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #026: Stupid Is As Stupid Does”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #023:  And Trump Can Fart Rainbows Too!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #023:  And Trump Can Fart Rainbows Too!

It appears the reason behind His Petulance’s capitulation last weekend that ended the Trump-O’Connell government shutdown, perhaps temporarily, was not the devastating report from the Air Traffic Controllers Association telling the world that the longer the shutdown lasts, the more likely it is that there will be a major air catastrophe… and nobody could predict when that might happen., but it could happen at any time.

Nope. It was the ever-increasing possibility that there will be a major air catastrophe during Super Bowl weekend, which pretty much started a couple days ago. As they say in the business, that would make for real bad optics. And, also, a lot of dead bodies. Possibly dead bodies of extremely wealthy, tax-break-giddy Republicans. As nobody knows better than a hustler who is maxed-out with his mark, that could be bad for Trump’s business.

Not to mention Putin’s.

Of course, you wouldn’t know that from listening to King Donald the Last. On any given day our grifter-in-chief generates more spin than a Maytag repairman’s wet dream. About one-third of the electorate, give or take and depending upon the position of the moon, believes everything this lying asshole has to say. If President Second Coming says he can fart rainbows, these people – with whom we share the planet – will tell their children that Donald Second Coming can fart rainbows.  Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #023:  And Trump Can Fart Rainbows Too!”

So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #024: Shut It Down

So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #024: Shut It Down

Hello, Pop Culture Squad readers. I’m interrupting my regularly scheduled screed on the minutiae of pop culture I regularly consume to bring you a bit of political theater. While my compatriot Mike Gold does it far better than I ever could, after thirty days of the present farce in our fair nation, frankly pop culture isn’t serving me well.

Sure, I want to write about the current slump Saturday Night Live is working through. I’d love to pontificate on my recent rounds of Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Melee Battle Extraordinaire (or whatever it’s actually called on the Switch). I’d given nothing more right now, then the ability to focus on my watching the second (and last, boo) season of The Punisher — and how only 2 episodes in I’m already wanting to scream about the drastic dip in quality.

But no. None of it really resonates with me right now. Because our President and congress have frozen 800,000 people out of earned money — in addition to tens of thousands of independent contractors and related businesses who are all presently suffering — over what amounts to a debate over border security.  Continue reading “So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #024: Shut It Down”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #021: Steve King’s Not The Problem, by Mike Gold

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #021: Steve King’s Not The Problem, by Mike Gold

The headline states “Steve King’s Not The Problem.” He’s not. He is a problem, but not the problem.

Oh, sure, the Republican Party removed him from all his committees so, in effect, he can only wander the halls of Congress rattling chains like the Ghost of Racists Past. This is the Congressional equivalent of gelding, and in a democracy perhaps the punishment fits the crime. But off the top of my air-conditioned head, I can think of two bigger problems.  Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #021: Steve King’s Not The Problem, by Mike Gold”