Tag: Donald Trump

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #077: Dope Frees Fool

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #077: Dope Frees Fool

Courtesy PUTIN – Pigeons United To Interfere Now.

Hey now, baby / Get into my big black car / Hey now, baby / Get into my big black car / I want to just show you/ What my politics are • Politician, written by Jack Bruce & Pete Brown

If you think Donald Trump’s commuting of impeached Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich after serving a little over half of his 14-year sentence has anything to do with correcting a grave miscarriage of justice, then I’ve got a bridge strutting across New York’s East River to sell you.

Rod was convicted of attempting to sell Barack Obama’s Senate seat when the latter became president. He also was convicted of shaking down the local horse racing industry and the Lurie Children’s Hospital (a.k.a. Children’s Memorial), both for “pay for play” campaign contributions.

Before you get even more bent out of shape over this one, let me correct a common misconception. My Prairie State brethren need not fear being seating next to this felon when their next jury duty demand comes in the mail. Trump did not pardon Blago, he merely commuted his sentence. There’s a difference – according to the Springfield Illinois State Journal-Register (Springfield is the capital of Illinois): “A commutation is a reduction in a prison term but the conviction remains on a person’s record.” He cannot be elected to state office. He’s now an ex-convict. He’s still a felon. He remains a fool. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #077: Dope Frees Fool”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #075: Fake History, Real Heroes

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #075: Fake History, Real Heroes

Last Saturday saw the fourth annual Women’s Rights Day with demonstrations all over the nation, many in very inclement weather. This year’s march was fueled in part by the calendar: 2020 is the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage, expanding the ability to vote to those without that icky Y chromosome.

I have slightly mixed feeling about that. Every egalitarian victory should be celebrated, but, damn, why should we get all enthused over 144 years of denying half of our population the right to participate in our vaunted democracy? Whereas I can hold a grudge until it screams, we should be educating citizens current and future to all the limitations we have placed on women, including those many that have not been sliced from our massive national discrimination pie.

However, the National Archives celebrates that victory by layering it with a purposely misleading patina of truthiness. They maliciously chose to alter it, and in complete contradiction to their mission, they celebrated women’s suffrage under a veil of lies. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #075: Fake History, Real Heroes”

Brainiac On Banjo #070: When In Space, Dress For Success!

Brainiac On Banjo #070: When In Space, Dress For Success!

Before I start, I want to point out that I know today is Monday and it’s time for “Brainiac On Banjo,” where I wax on and on about comics and pop culture. I realize it is not Thursday, where, in “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind,” I do my seditious and sometimes salacious political rants. So, given today’s location, I’m going to do something I rarely do in “Weird Scenes.” I am going to let Donald Trump off the hook.

For a week now, the wires and tubes have been buzzing about the new, official costume of the new, official U.S. Space Force. Allegedly our sixth branch of the armed forces, it’s merely a part of the U.S. Air Force, the way the Air Force – then called the Air Corps – used to be part of the U.S. Army. But don’t bother Mr. Trump with that. Right now, he’s busy.

Yes, I know that some people call them uniforms but my pal, writer, former DC Comics editor and New Jersey bon vivant Jack C. Harris called ‘em costumes when he was in the Air Force, and so, I’ve absconded with it. If that pisses you off, well, no disrespect is meant… to you. Unless your last name is Westmoreland or Schwarzkopf. Damn, I am getting political. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo #070: When In Space, Dress For Success!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #073: Holiday In Tehran

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #073: Holiday In Tehran

It’s time to taste what you most fear / Right Guard will not help you here / Brace yourself, my dear / Brace yourself, my dear – Holiday In Cambodia by the Dead Kennedys, 1980.

It was great fun watching Donald Trump and his Stooges run their victory lap yesterday. Let me paraphrase their comments: “Iran blinked.” Trump may very well be as stupid as his dangerous, but even I have a hard time believing the Great Orange Turd wasn’t knowingly lying through his teeth.

After Iran’s massive missile attacks that served as warning shots, followed by statements from Iranian leaders blatantly saying their response was just that, Trump says Iran blinked. If he really believes that, then he will continue to keep in jeopardy the lives of over 100,000 American troops – as well as that of his alleged best-bud Benji Netanyahu. Maybe Trump thinks that, since the Jews are the ones responsible for his impeachment (source: statement made January 6 by Delaware Republican Party official Nelly Jordan), he can get back to his family’s legacy of hating the Hebes so, hey, screw Benji.

Iran bombed the shit out of two of our bases in Iraq Tuesday night. They were meticulous in not killing Americans, Iranians, or (I take it) Iraqis. Then they said, and again I paraphrase, this town isn’t big enough for the two of us, and if we don’t get out or if we assassinate any more Iranian leaders, they will move their bombsites a little bit to the right and blow our troops to kingdom come. That is the textbook definition of a warning shot. Stop listening to the babblings of Trump’s lying toadies: the absolute truth is that, Wednesday night, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei made Donald Trump dance in a hail of missile fire. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #073: Holiday In Tehran”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #069: Talk Is Cheap, And So Is Trump

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #069: Talk Is Cheap, And So Is Trump

What will you do if we let you go home / And the plastic’s all melted / And so is the chrome? / Who are the brain police? – Frank Zappa, Who Are The Brain Police, 1966

One of the many ways we get into trouble as a society is when we issue sanctions on semantics. Acts can be evil. Thoughts can provoke bad acts – but thoughts can prevent bad actions as well. We can deal with the bad thoughts if we stay vigilant and use our brains from time to time.

Controlling the language has been an effective means of political persuasion. One of the reasons I admire the LGBTQ movements is that they seized the words gay and queer, turning insults into advocacy. This started about six decades ago, so we’ve had a couple generations of Americans who do not automatically perceive those terms in their original discriminatory context. We’ve got a way to go; change takes time and commitment.

I am often bewildered by the statements made by our president, and by “often” I mean “at least every day.” Because he gets his beliefs from Fox News and Vlad Putin, our dickhead-in-chief buys into the axiom that Jews are a monolithic group who are compelled by a hive-mind. This is a complete misunderstanding of the Jewish culture. As a group, Jews love to debate and discuss, generally with open-minds (I exempt the most fundamentalist of persuasions from this argument) but usually with great passion. I was raised in a Jewish environment, and I truly enjoy this exchange. Judaism as a culture encourages debate between the religious elders and their flocks. “Rabbi” means teacher. A teacher who is willing to discuss and debate. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #069: Talk Is Cheap, And So Is Trump”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #066: Has It Come To This?

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #066: Has It Come To This?

Here’s the latest sign of the apocalypse. Yes, it has come down to this – I, Mike Gold, whose Twitter handle is “@creepymikegold,” am the one lecturing on manners. Don’t start reading any continued stories, folks. Obviously, the end is nigh.

I totally understand why the Trumpublicans put their xenophobic, racist, sexist, narcissistic, treasonous habitual liar ahead of the security of the United States of America and its people. Most of us who aren’t them are the prodigy of immigrants and similar ne’er-do-wells, and some of us are poor, old, in lousy health and/or unwilling to work for fifty cents an hour. But does the Rabid Right have to be so damn rude about it?

These numbnuts are trying to belittle, on national television, those who have honored this country by putting their bodies between the legions of evil and the Americans of great wealth. Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman and top West Point graduate / Vietnam War vet / Ambassador to Ukraine William Taylor testified before the impeachment hearings this past week, along with other valiant witnesses including (to name but two) Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch and National Security Council official Fiona Hill. These genuine heroes put it all on the line for truth, justice and the American way… and I mean that sincerely, without a shred of sarcasm.

But are the maniacal Trumpublicans grateful? Of course not. The patriots who have earned their chops the hard way in order to keep America great – and to keep America in business – have been maligned as prevaricators: dishonest “never-Trumpers” who are acting relentlessly against the desires and prattling fabrications uttered by the xenophobic, racist, sexist, narcissistic, treasonous habitual liar-in-chief, the one person who best symbolizes all that is wrong and likely could ever be wrong about humanity. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #066: Has It Come To This?”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #061: ENOUGH!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #061: ENOUGH!

To the best of my recollection, the first time I was embarrassed to be an American was about 40 years ago. There was a severe drought going on in California, and one of their officials proposed we build a pipeline from the Great Lakes to help them out.

Forgot about how Californians would have been reduced to cinders long before such a pipeline could be built and put into service. The United States does not own our vast Inter-Ocean. All that fresh water borders on Canada as well as the States, and much of their population lives within about 20 miles of the live-giving wetness. Even a fairly slight drop in the water level would wreak havoc with the people and the economies of, among other places, Toronto, Montreal, Winnipeg, and Windsor.

It would severely undermine navigation, traumatize and end navigation on the St. Lawrence Seaway. By the way, it would have a similar effect on the people of, among other places, Detroit, Duluth, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cleveland, Buffalo, and Erie. If you’re unfamiliar with the map — yes, I’m talking to you, my fellow New Yorkers — check it out. The Great Lakes are directly linked to the Mississippi River, part of a network that includes, oh, the Ohio River, the Missouri River, and much of Mark Twain’s work. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #061: ENOUGH!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #060: The Man Who Destroyed Time

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #060: The Man Who Destroyed Time

“It starts when you’re always afraid.” – Stephen Stills, For What It’s Worth

At first, I thought it was just another sign of senility. You gotta expect that, I guess. Then, I thought I was having one of those LSD flashbacks I was promised a half-century ago. I briefly considered the possibility I slipped through a hole in the time-space continuum, but, damn, no such luck. I had to face the truth.

Donald J. Trump destroyed my sense of time.

And I am not alone. Not by any means. I might even be in the majority; that’s a unique experience for me. Certainly, you’ve noticed this yourself. If you watch any of the talking heads panel shows, you’ve heard others bitch about this. You’ll hear of something Trump did yesterday – yesterday! – and you’ll say to yourself “Oh, yeah. Damn. I thought that happened a couple weeks ago!”

It’s not disconcerting the first time, but after a while (obviously, sooner than you think) you begin to think of senility, flashbacks – if you’re a geriatric hippie – and that time warp thing. Once to accept the truth, you just shake your head, shrug your shoulders, and wonder if you can hold on until this particular Joker is gone. Even if you’re part of the 55% of Americans who disapprove of him, you’ve got to face this important fact:

Donald J. Trump broke time. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #060: The Man Who Destroyed Time”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #059: Beneath Contempt and Beyond the Pale

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #059: Beneath Contempt and Beyond the Pale

The Democratic Party keeps on telling us that most Americans are too stupid to understand the different between impeachment and an impeachment trial. Underestimating the public and coming off as if they are smarter than the average citizen is among the Democrat’s greatest failings, and, clearly, they have not learned the most important lesson from the 2016 campaign.

Like just about everything else, there’s some truth to this one, but it’s overstated. The impeachment process is easy to understand: the House acts as a grand jury, the Senate acts as the jury. It’s just that simple. Instead of calling the electorate ignorant, the Democrats should adopt this line as their mantra. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #059: Beneath Contempt and Beyond the Pale”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #058: Counting Noses.

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #058: Counting Noses.

Willie Sutton

In case you’re thinking about a career in politics – and if so, there might be something seriously wrong with you – here’s the most important skill you will need to perfect. You will need to know how to count noses.

We have exactly two political parties. There is nothing in the Constitution about political parties, and therefore there is nothing in our establishing document limiting us to two. From time to time a new party starts up and takes its best shot but they just wind up splitting the vote. By way of example, if a person with ideals that tend to appeal to Democrats runs for president, it is possible that the newbie will strip away enough Democratic votes to throw the election to the Republicans, or vice versa. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #058: Counting Noses.”