Category: Lifestyle

Brainiac On Banjo: Halloween’s Other Princess

Brainiac On Banjo: Halloween’s Other Princess

“I could be the catalyst that sparks the revolution. I could be an inmate at a long-term institution. I could dream to wild extremes, I could do or die, I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.” From What A Waste, written by Ian Dury and Rod Melvin.

If you’ve been to the supermarket lately — perhaps you just won the state lottery — you’ve probably noticed Halloween is upon us. Big bags of tiny candy bars marked “fun” abound, many containing ersatz pumpkin poo. We should acknowledge the likelihood that without Halloween, we might not have Wonder Woman around.

Like much of what I write this might seem idiosyncratic, but even if I’m overanalyzing history a bit, this claim has merit. In the 1940s, Wonder Woman was one of the most visible comics characters in America. She had her own comic book, was cover-featured in the monthly Sensation Comics anthology title, shared covers on Comic Cavalcade with Green Lantern and The Flash, was a member of the Justice Society of America — although, of course, she spent the war years as the JSA’s secretary. She even had her own daily newspaper comic strip for a couple years.

Then World War II ended. Before long the paper shortage ended and, slowly, rationing was retired. The returning generation of family members sold their daddy’s companies to mammoth, soulless, money-grubbing conglomerates. Those outlets that had been selling comic books — candy shops, drug stores, newsstands, railroad stations — were being replaced by shopping strips and malls where the profit from ten-cent comic books wouldn’t mean shit to a tree. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Halloween’s Other Princess” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Our Favorite Nepojunkie

Brainiac On Banjo: Our Favorite Nepojunkie

“People think its cool cause it’s our law. Think they rebel without a cause. We gotta help the sick and the addicted, but were killin’ ourselves with the new prohibition. Our government’s try to tell you what to do; decide for yourself what’s right for you. If ya go too far and ya get outta hand, then ya take a little trip down to prison land!” From “Legalize it” written by Mojo Nixon.

We’ve been spending the past several weeks talking about comic books, so I thought this week I’d lighten the tone a bit and talk about heroin addiction.

To be fair, heroin use has been a significant part of our popular culture. Aside from state and local laws, including those that only tangentially affected heroin users, the federal Anti-Heroin Act prohibiting the possession of opium wasn’t passed until 1924. Opium, organic and synthetic, is the alluring ingredient in heroin as well as such substances as methadone, codeine, oxycodone and naloxone. This act amended the Smoking Opium Exclusion Act of 1909 which authorized the importation of the opium-producing poppy plant for medicinal use.

Back in the 19th century, the civilized world was held in thrall by opium and its relations — to the point where Bayer Pharmaceuticals created a safer form of opium in 1898 they named “heroin.” They sold it as a cure for opium addition, alcoholism and for coughs, and they claimed it was more effective than morphine and free from abuse potential. Turns out they were mistaken about that last point. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Our Favorite Nepojunkie” →

So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man #122: On Being Funny

So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man #122: On Being Funny

Forever and a day ago, I wrote about my comedic aspirations. At the time, I’d just agreed to perform at a local charity event during the early holiday season. Hilariously (perhaps only to me), I was told the event was “blue”, in so much that the nice gal who asked me to perform was plenty fine with me dropping a few foul words, and to make my set as azure as I wanted it to be. Not that I’m that foul-mouthed (but given both my wife, and one of my best friends Matt, I’m clearly attracted to it),  I was pleased-as-punch to pepper my prose that evening with the devil’s tongue. Flash forward to the big night, and right in the front row? A line of children. When I took the stage, one even shouted “THAT’S BENNETT’S DAD!”. Cue my inner monologue going full bore Denis Leary while I proceeded to barrel through my set figuring that the worst that could happen is I’m forever earmarked as a potty-mouth on various local Facebook groups. When I hit my closing joke (which was, at that time, about Bennett’s inability to agree to eat fruits and vegetables), I met a polite sea of applause, and the hostess of the event gave me a passive thumbs up before ushering on the next act — a high school ska band. I was never asked back to perform at that event again. Their loss. 

Shortly after that personal pratfall though, I kept my gums flapping monthly at a local “spoken word” evening at a community coffee house. Among poets, storytellers, and a handful of locals loving a little night entertainment… I regularly joined the dais to deliver my monolithic monologues of middling merriment. With a warm room, this monthly escape fed my desire to perform… until March of 2020, when the world shut down. Cue the curtain and the denouement of my fledgling comedy career hobby. Total sets performed? Fourteen. Fifteen, if you count the full 9 minutes of hilarity that exist on YouTube that you should not seek out. Hollywood didn’t come calling. Lorne Michaels didn’t have a page call me about flying out to pass his Tootsie Roll Test. Such was life.  Continue reading “So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man #122: On Being Funny” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Schlitz Hits The Fan

Brainiac On Banjo: Schlitz Hits The Fan

©Chicago Sun-Times

“I don’t drink beer cause it doesn’t make me feel well, and I need every brain cell I’ve been given. And I don’t drink beer, I don’t mean to be overcautious, but the bitter taste makes me nauseous. I don’t drink beer.” From I Don’t Drink Beer, written by Tim Hawkins.

Just as the song above suggests, I do not drink beer… pretty much for the reasons Tim Hawkins noted. Besides, I’ve got low blood pressure and the one time I got drunk I just sat glowering in the corner and frightening the hell out of my friends. I was sixteen at that time, and that’s one of the few life lessons I’ve kept rattling around in my brainpan for the past six decades. However, like most everything that the Swells had deemed low-class, I fully appreciate beer culture.

Back in my sainted hometown of Chicago, just 90 miles south from the town that Schlitz thinks it made famous, the brewer built fifty “tied-houses” between 1897 and 1905 — saloons that sold only Schlitz beer — throughout the Midwest. The architecture was such that a large Schlitz logo was built into the motif and were decorated in colored terracotta. 10 such tied-houses remain in Chicago to this day, and on this day, not a one is serving Schlitz at all.

Granted, most haven’t served beer in years, but those that are still selling suds aren’t serving the beer that made Milwaukee famous. Schlitz went blooie this past weekend. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Schlitz Hits The Fan” →

Brainiac On Banjo: A Rose Is a Rose

Brainiac On Banjo: A Rose Is a Rose

“Come mothers and fathers throughout the land, and don′t criticize what you can’t understand. Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command; your old road is rapidly aging. Please get out of the new one if you can′t lend your hand.” From The Times, They Are a-Changin’, written by Bob Dylan.

In case you’re studying for your English exam…

Despite Dylan’s best efforts two-thirds of a century ago, the times they always have been changing. Some of us feel a little queasy about the exponential speed that makes these changes seem mandatory; the young’uns catch on faster because they have fewer cobwebs in their brainpan.

For example, it seems a lot of older folks — say, above thirty-five — are clutching their pearls while bemoaning the death of cursive writing. I was one of them, but only briefly. Ever since we beat Germany at world warfare, the art of cursive died a protracted death. But by the time Baby Boomers started pumping out the next round of rugcrawlers, even they — we — couldn’t read each other’s cursive. Now with all these tubes and wires in everybody’s pocket, we don’t even need know how to type. Just speak up and your smartphone will take your dictation, wreck your spelling by turning misspelled words into brand new words that are wrong, change words at random and complete your thoughts by converting your prose into Aramaic. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: A Rose Is a Rose” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Take Netflix For The Win

Brainiac On Banjo: Take Netflix For The Win

“I can’t breathe. My throat is just a mess. My chest is burning up, and now my lungs are in distress. Should we blame the imbeciles ignoring climate change? Oh, who to blame for making the skies so strange?” From Blame Canada, written by Marc Shaiman – revised 2023 version. 

This could turn into a rant about the gutless pearl-clutchers who pseudonymously blather about how the world is going to hell just because their favorite cause-of-the-moment got sidetracked… and it still might. I can’t believe there are still word-spewers out there who want Zack Snyder to finish doing what Doctor Frederic Wertham could not.

But they aren’t the only ones losing their shit about Warner Bros, the company that has owned DC Comics since August 1967, being bought by Netflix. The bidding came down to three companies. The far-right wing Skydance, having just swallowed Paramount, submitted at least three bids for the doomed Warner Bros Discovery enchilada so they could take CNN over and prove to the world that they, too, could out-NewsNation the liars at Fox News. Each of their bids was rejected for being too low; evidently there are financial limits to the Ellison family’s political beliefs. The other two bidders, Comcast and Netflix, only wanted the Warner Bros part of the company. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Take Netflix For The Win” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Affordability? My Ass!

Brainiac On Banjo: Affordability? My Ass!

“Don’t try to make me what I’m not. I just get by with what I’ve got. Live, let live, that′s my advice. If you′ve got questions, ask me nice.” From Ask Me Nice, written by Mose Allison.

When was the last time you read one of those year-end roundups and concluded “Hey, this year was damn good! Let’s do it one more time!”

Well, this isn’t it. Being a realist is a bitch. Because this place is called “Pop Culture Squad” and because my brain no longer possesses the bandwidth to reflect upon all of Earth’s currently crippling traumas, I will restrict my comments to on-topic affairs.

Over at the comics rack, when it comes to new material DC Comics and Marvel Comics have pretty much abandoned giving us stories and have focused their energies on events that are as humongous as they are repetitive and meaningless. Both imprints have given us some great writing here and there, often in the form of stand-alone stories and mini-series that are completely outside the framework. Perhaps the authors also can’t fathom these overpopulated jamborees.

Each month Marvel continues to pump out more and more spiders, and I include their symbiotes. Over at DC Batman has become such a relentless asshole he can run for president on the 2028 GOP ticket. Even his massive family mocks him. If not for Lois Lane, Wonder Woman, and the just-cancelled Birds of Prey, I’d restrict my DC reading to old copies of Scribbly. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Affordability? My Ass!” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Who You Callin’ A Turkey?

Brainiac On Banjo: Who You Callin’ A Turkey?

“Mama told you never to eat your friends with your fingers and hands. But I say you ought to eat what you will. Shove it in your mouth any way that you can.” From Silver Spoon, written by Grace Slick.

As you may have inferred from all the annual hubbub, this Thursday is Thanksgiving. At least I think it still is; perhaps our gravy-besotted president repealed the holiday because of its inherent pro-Native American wokity-wokeness.

I just got back from Grace Slick’s open market and I was a bit surprised at how uncrowded the joint had been. I expect Sundays at the supermarket to be busier because a lot of people actually have jobs, and, of course, logic dictates chefs and gourmands would be using weekends to fill their pantries for the family feast. Prices have skyrocketed and/or portion sizes have decreased, and that can have a dissuasive effect on one’s appetite, particularly if you can’t afford to pay the toll.

That did not lessen the overwhelming presence of Pumpkin Spice. You’d think Halloween would be enough but, no, we’ve got another five weeks of this crap. Pumpkin Spice donuts. Pumpkin Spice coffee. Pumpkin Spice potato chips. Pumpkin Spice Oreos. Pumpkin Spice Pampers. I doubt those at the first Thanksgiving feast had ever seen or heard of pumpkins, not even in its unprocessed cucurbitaceae form.

Maybe that’s why Thanksgiving doesn’t get the same degree of respect as many other holidays. Every October we spend a small fortune on Kit Kat bars, and every December we blow out minds out on peppermint bark. If I’m not mistaken (calendars stopped working for me during Covid), retailers start putting out their Christmas products the Monday after Mother’s Day. The damn turkeys are crowded out of the spotlight from Day One.

For example, let’s take comic books. Lots and lots of Christmas-themed comics are published each year, most of them, seemingly, by Archie. They’ve been doing that longer than most Pop Culture Squad members have been alive. Thanksgiving? Nada. Well, almost nada. There used to be a few really good turkey covers each year, but that was back when children could buy comics at their neighborhood drugstore or newsstand. Turkey comics didn’t generate that extra profit that publishers need, back then and right now.

I suspect some publishers get a bit hinky about how they should depict native Americans. I get that, but am moved to suggest “gee, why don’t you ask a few Native Americans?” That’s not being woke; it is simply being polite. Then again, some think politeness is woke.

However, there is one Christmas comic I will recommend, and it comes out Wednesday, a.k.a. Thanksgiving Eve. DC is doing another one of its wacky anthologies that feature underexposed (mostly) characters written and/or drawn by some of its better underexposed (mostly) writers and artists. It’s called I Saw Ma Hunkel Kissing Santa Claus. Her story is the first of eight features, and if you don’t know or are uncertain who Ma Hunkel is, you just got my point. This is the lead story, the title story in the anthology. Ma was created by the overwhelmingly talented Shelly Mayer in 1939; she became the Red Tornado about a year and a half later. She’s a member of the Justice Society, more or less, and she is a hoot.

She’s the one wearing the pot on her head. No, I did not say she was on pot.

But, lo and behold this year there is a really great Thanksgiving comic book. It’s called “Thanksgiving” and its written by Mark Russell and drawn by Mauricet. Ahoy Comics calls it a gory horror-comedy, and I’ll stand behind that…

… but I won’t tell you why. Not yet. Over on our Pop Culture Squadcast Live! podcast, I’m gonna tell you all about it… in three weeks. Yep, I’m gonna talk about the Thanksgiving comic book right before Christmas.

Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Mike!

With Further Ado #372: Whiskey Business

With Further Ado #372: Whiskey Business

IT TURNS OUT that in 1956 the U.S. per capita consumption of spirits (primarily whiskey) was 1.81 gallons. So, on average, everyone was drinking a gallon of whiskey each year. Can this be true?

I would normally find that hard to believe. But…. I just read an old 1956 issue of Sports Illustrated. Now I think it just might be.

Yes, as you might have guessed, this is another ‘lost treasure’ that I’ve found in my dad’s stuff. I’m not sure why he kept this particular issue of Sports Illustrated. To be sure, he was a long-time subscriber. He loved all sports, although I think was always football was his favorite. For years and years, he was an avid skier. We would ski as a family, and he always loved the majesty of and storytelling behind the Olympics. Those are the cover features. Maybe that’s why he held onto this particular issue?

On the other hand, I’m betting that mom just never ran across it, so she didn’t get a chance to get rid of it.

This December issue undoubtedly geared the advertisements towards gift-giving. But still…there are so many whiskey ads in this issue. I’m counting thirteen. And one ad for pink wine. That’s a new one on me. Continue reading “With Further Ado #372: Whiskey Business” →

With Further Ado #368: Are You Ready for Some Football?

With Further Ado #368: Are You Ready for Some Football?

GLORY DAYS: HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PROGRAM SOUVENIR BOOKS

My Dad wasn’t really a collector. But still, we’re finding many remarkable treasures as we’ve been sorting through his stuff. And the most recent item that makes us scratch our heads is his collection of Football Program books, aka Souvenir Booklets.

My dad was a football quarterback – both on his high school team, Auburn, and for his college, Cornell University. He was a smart kid, but I think that football was more than a sport to him and to his generation. It was also a ticket to better things; like a college scholarship. Or a validation of quintessential American values; like hard work and training.

So it made sense that I stumbled across a stack of these beautiful program booklets from his high school football games. Each one is graced with an impactful painting (no AI used here) that glorifies, or at least, romances one aspect football. These glorious image spotlight the quarterback, the receiver, the physical contact, the fall season, the sense of romance (did everyone want to date a football player), a child’s vision of growing up to play. and even the ref! Continue reading “With Further Ado #368: Are You Ready for Some Football?” →