Tag: bump stocks

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #055: Mass Murders? It’s the Damn Monkeys!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #055: Mass Murders? It’s the Damn Monkeys!

God, am I dumb. And when I say “god,” I mean that literally. It turns out there’s a viable, meaningful, and always successful way to end our onslaught of mass murders.

Our old pal Tony Perkins – the one who runs the ultra-right-wing Family Research Council, and possibly not the one who wore his mother’s skin in the movies – told Fox News (of course) “It’s time we talk about the result of the left’s systematic march through our institutions, driving religious expression from the public square… It’s tragic and at some point we have to realize we have a problem as a nation, and the problem is not the absence of laws, it’s an absence of morality – really, the result of a decades-long march through the institutions of America, driving religion and God from the public square.”

So, evidently Tony Perkins’ god is a mean bastard who is so pissed that society is not obsessed with his every fart that he enlightens his true believers to shoot up a bunch of heathens and those who happen to be near them. No more pillars of salt, no more floods – well, maybe floods – nope, Tony’s god has gone high-tech. How many people can you slay in 30 seconds, when god is on your side? Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #055: Mass Murders? It’s the Damn Monkeys!”