Hey, kids! It’s pop quiz time!
Don’t worry, I know you didn’t study for this one. It’s O.K. There’s only one question, it’s multiple choice, and you’ve only got two answers to choose from. An orangutan could do it.
Question: You run the 1997 Miss Teen USA beauty pageant, so you assume a privilege that is normally perceived as against the law, against most scripture, and truly disgusting. It’s a twist on the fabled and arguably apocryphal jus primae noctis, a.k.a. the “right of the first night.” Here, I’ll make it easy for you. You walk into the dressing room while a bunch of contestants, all teen-age girls, are naked and you ogle away freely. Just to be clear, these girls are as young as 15. As the song says… they are jail bait.
Upon discovery, one of the following happens to you:
a) You lose your job, are arrested and possibly convicted and imprisoned, are put on the sex offenders’ registry, are bankrupted by lawsuits, lawyers’ fees, judgments, and loss of income, and are heavily ostracized by your friends, business associates, the media and your family. (source: logic and history)
b) 62,984,825 strategically-placed voters make you President of the United States of America. (source: CNN)