Tag: The Handmaid’s Tale

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E4 “Other Women” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E4 “Other Women” Hot Take Recap

  • Honestly have been dreading watching this all damn day. Even during the “Previously On” I can’t not scream into the void “WHY DID YOU RUN WITHOUT THINKING, JUNE!?” (I know she was, but, c’mon!)
  • Prized pigs. Trained rats. They don’t have complex feelings like you, dearie. Oh! It’s everyone’s favorite Bitchbag here with the best fashion from Milan.
  • I like the spunk, June. But, here I sit, and don’t see how she doesn’t just kill herself to spite the whole damn lot of them.
  • All I can do is think of ways for June to rebel. Poop on the floor is my leading desire at the moment.
  • FAKE NEWS!
  • “Praise be (we all know this ain’t your baby. This is Nick and my baby. So you’re not only rapists. You’re kidnappers!).”
  • For the love of all that is holy, Aunt Bitchbag, DROP THE ACT ALREADY!
  • Uhh. I don’t like even asking this… but, is Nick alive? Wait. Nevermind. One look on his useless dumb face and I’m once again through with him. Unless he straight up shoots everyone in the house, and then himself.
  • Oh. Yay! A complicit rapist baby shower book club. And we present you with an elephant! A symbol of the GOP who watches this show like porn.
  • Serena Joy is smoking while pregnant! IT’LL HURT THE BABY! Bitchbag gets 1 point.
  • Oh, hey. Arts and crafts time. This show sure loves its overly dramatic ceremonies. This is what happens when you don’t have TV, kids. On the plus side? Serena Joy is now symbolically tied to June. I hope she feels dirty.
  • And speaking of that. Let’s watch Mrs. Luke call June a whore in public. Fun times.
  • Serena has anger issues. Also? June is awesome. “Hey, teal-twat-rocket? I have a daughter, you barren ho.” #Savage
  • I quickly IMDB’d Fred Waterford because I literally kept thinking “He’s not Voldemort. I know that. But damn if he isn’t close.”
  • Aunt Lydia thinks she’s doing good. All villains do.
  • Offred needs to hurl Aunt Bitchbag into the river. There’s not a punishment mean enough for her.
  • 2 to 1 odds Serena is about to hobble June. Wait! No. False alarm. Just insane baby envy. Psychotic baby envy.
  • A sanded door jamb, and a final scene to twist the knife in her past. This feels like “The Empire Strikes Back”. Not in the “this was nuanced and amazing!” way, no. In that “there’s literally no hope left in my soul” way.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E3 “Baggage” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E3 “Baggage” Hot Take Recap

  • Episode 3. Here we go! June getting her fitness-montage on, eh. I’m fighting HARD to smile. Because this show has taught me that joy is temporary and should be stamped into oblivion.
  • Meanwhile in Canada, it’s America’s favorite ex-pat sitcom… Moira, Dweebus, and the Mute!
  • Young June at the rally/protest… Ahhh. There’s that gut-bomb of social-relevance that makes me think about Trump. So. Barf.
  • I just realized if Nick was played by Colin Hanks, I’d feel safer for June.
  • “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?”… Neither! I’m a sandwich! (Not a note. I just always wanted to work this into an article.)
  • If skittish black driver would just USE HIS WORDS to explain why he’s trying to abandon June, it’d sure help me understand wtf is going on.
  • 18 minutes in, and we’ve yet to see an actual Handmaid, Commander, Aunt Bitchbag, or anything cruel and evil (aside from “the world” of course). This is like a weird reverse bottle episode.
  • “Under his eye.” JUNE, WHY?! I mean, she can’t believe in that bullshit. Why SPOUT IT??!!
  • Listen, judgemental bitch. YOU try getting raped monthly under threat of death and harm to your actual child , and try being HOLIER THAN THOU.
  • OK, so we are in Gilead now? And I’m thinking maybe it’s Sunday? Church time? And now I’m thinking “Are Jews persecuted here?”. Sigh.
  • So. June’s mom is an unloved bitch. Cool, cool, cool.
  • They’re Muslim (I think)?
  • 34:20 in, and there’s my previous Bitchbag. And damn, I’d peg June’s mom as a suicide bomber against Gilead, not a field worker. Or did I just imagine seeing that.
  • OK. June. June? June. This is the kind of shit people yell at the movie screen for. DON’T DO THIS. Please! Also. Where the hell is dead-eyed Nick? I’m guessing Gilead ain’t got no phones, but still. Dude. Check on yo’ baby mama, right? JUNE STOP LOOKING AT THE GUARDS. JUNE.
  • June, seriously. If you don’t shut up, I’mma scream.
  • “She left me once, and now I have to leave her.” … I’m not sure who she’s referring to. Her mother? Hannah? Both?
  • Truly curious what June’s specific end-game is at this point. Make it to the border? Live in the wilderness?
  • We now bring you back to “Moira, Dweebus, and the Mute”… “Blessed be the Froot Loops?” SHE NAILED THE PUNCHLINE! Queue the title card and credits.
  • So… all the drivers are Eyes. And the Eyes are good? I STILL DO NOT TRUST THIS AT (the fuck) ALL. June, I give you permission to kick driver until he dead.
  • Oh, mom. You ain’t no Hollaback Girl. You a slave, now.
  • As much as I wanted to be like “I told you so…”… I can’t. Damn it all to hell.

The Handmaid’s Tale S2E2: “Unwomen” Hot Take Recap

  • “There probably is no out”. And there it is kids. Season over!
  • This is like Walter White’s vacation in the great white north. Except Robert Forster is just an old handyman. And June isn’t a meth kingpin. OK, this is nothing like Breaking Bad. Shut up.
  • OK, the Handyman’s “After a while, crocodile” sold me. He’s my new god.
  • Seriously. Are all college classes in TV and Movies either COMPLETELY CHOCKED FULL or sparsely filled by nerds and assholes?
  • ACK! TWISTY THE CLOWN! Err. Wait. No… Just another railroaded liberal. And a GAY one to boot!
  • A lot of world building this episode. Figuratively and literally.
  • A requiem for a newspaper. A 1 act play wherein June mourns the written word, the dead, and decides to publish her own zine. (If I don’t make my own jokes here, I’m going to go insane of sadness.)
  • “You and our baby”. Vomit, Nick. But hey. He gave her a gun!
  • I’m sorry. Two guns. I’m starting to feel bad for actual husband. Sorta. He’s a bit of a dweeb. I’m stalling while the dead-eyed weirdo boinks the pregnant chick. I’m hella-uncomfortable.
  • Sweet Christmas. That’s enough with the freeing sex, kids!
  • It’s just my Hulu, but the first ad after all that sex was for White Castle, and I seriously vurped.
  • So how does one get to be a cattle prodder? “Well, in my other life, I worked at the DMV.” SOLD!
  • An MFA in interior design? It’s JUST as useful working in the wasteland.
  • Somewhere, a Trump supporter watching this show has a hard-on when they deny the marriage license of a gay couple that is “no longer recognized”. And I’d like THAT person to be sent to the wasteland.
  • OH DAYUM, GINA. College Prof gots lady balls. Suck it, house frau!
  • If I lived in this world, and had faith previously? It hath been smoted by meow.

Handmaid’s Tale S2E1 “June” Hot Take Recap

(all these thoughts are made chronologically as I “enjoy” the episode)

  • I just made myself a bowl of ice cream prior to hitting play, because I’m going to occasionally need to be reminded that joy does indeed exist in the world still.
  • I just finished the recap. I’m glad I added cookies to my ice cream. Also “Trust me.” No, Nick. I do not trust you. You were an out of work loser ass-bag in the before-time. So, no.
  • They KNOW she’s preggers, right? That should give us SOME feeling of safety for June, right?
  • STOPPED at 6:56 to take a breath. I mean, I get it. They have work to do, and apparently fast. But, like, wouldn’t it be just as easy to march down the handmaids who are going to be hung in a neat and orderly line, without all the rush-rush-rush? Time is money, sure. But Gilead don’t have no money! ALSO… They have folks hung like ornaments all over the place. If they need to murder you, they literally have rifles. This seems like WWE levels of idiocy.
  • OH FUCK YOU, SHOW.
  • Die Aunt Lydia. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. (Each ‘Die’ comes for a separate bit during the show.)
  • Why did we have another kid? Cause Fuck the Patriarchy! Great reason, millennials.
  • “How did Ofmike get such beefy biceps? That bitch-bag made her stand outside with a rock in her hand for 3 hours, and she’s got 24″ pythons now, brother!”
  • I’m glad I finished my ice cream ahead of the live burning. Aunt Lydia needs to be murdered. By an army of savage children all singing “Our God is an Awesome God.”
  • I don’t know who this nurse/social worker is, but I think Aunt Lydia must have been cloned. Also? I hate her.
  • I know that silhouette anywhere. Hello Mrs. Twatface! Also? “Don’t get so mad, Serena. It’d be bad for the baby?” Cue that gif of the kids all going OH!!!!!”
  • Nice try show. I’m not going to believe June’s getting out of this hospital! I bet this is just more theatrics! (He says, silently praying Mayday is gonna get her out of this, and full well knowing NOT on episode 1 of the 2nd season).
  • WAIT! WHAT!? Don’t make me have hope, show. I still don’t trust Nick!
  • Haha! Fuck you, red frock! Also… SWEET CHRISTMAS, WOULDN’T NICK KNOW AN EASIER WAY TO REMOVE THE TAG!? I’m going to be sick.