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Brainiac On Banjo: Lessons Ignored

Brainiac On Banjo: Lessons Ignored

Posted on by Mike Gold

“History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man.” — From Godzilla, written by Buck Dharma.

If I were to make a list of what I consider the most important comic book series ever launched by Marvel Comics, The ‘Nam would make my top five with ease. Maybe the top two.

So The ‘Nam Omnibus, all 1128 pages of it and weighing in at six and one-half pounds, deserves a revisit. These humongous omnibi usually have pretty small print runs so they might be hard to find after a bit — this big dog was released last August but at $349.00 a pop you might still be able to find a copy at a friendly neighborhood comics shop. If so, they might be willing (if able) to cut you a deal.

“War comics” is something of a misnomer. Gung-ho stories about the evil enemies, be they German, Japanese, Viet Cong, or MAGAts, aren’t interesting. The white guys carry their bazookas into combat and shoot down all the snipers firing from the trees… and that’s about it. We are always the good guys, and the enemy is always bad — no matter who the enemy might have been at the time. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Lessons Ignored” →

So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man #102: Doomed

So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man #102: Doomed

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman

I am writing this article on Sunday, January 11th, 2026 (likely it’ll be posted in a couple days, so, don’t worry. I just like to work a bit ahead, if you will indulge me). In three-hundred forty-one days, Marvel Studios will unleash Avengers: Doomsday. Folks? I’m already sick of hearing about the movie. 

A literal year to the day of the release Marvel officially dropped the first of what I will assume is 176,962 teasers for the flick. We got to find out Steve Rogers would return. Yay.

Rest assured my TikTok feed was choked several days early with bootlegged versions that I swiped away from, in fear of AI slop. And somewhere around the seventeen-zillionth time I had to see the teaser reposted, or frame-by-frame broken down by the tidal wave of content creators, or otherwise speculated on… I waved the white flag.

And then the Thor trailer dropped.

And then the X-men trailer dropped.

I admit it. Yes, each time I’d wait to catch them on an official Marvel channel (again, to ensure that it wasn’t someone just using AI to fan-birth their own dumbass ideas), I would watch these teases… and to myself… speculate about plot points and things to come. I’d start getting hyped about the continuation of stories for these characters I’ve enjoyed across 37 films (!), and then it’d all come crashing down when I’d realized the movie isn’t coming out for eleven more months!

If this year-long trickle of teases are the Russo’s malevolent punishment to the world writ large that consumes information by the nano-second? I applaud the Doom-level villainy. I suspect, however, it’s the larger marketing machine itself still licking the wounds of Eternals flopping. 

Since the announcement that Robert Downey Jr. would be playing the titular ne’er-do-well, I’ve personally held a short-but-growing list of things I’d want to see occur when the movie makes way to the multi-plex. I’ll spare you a listicle to summarize it down to a singular point:

I need to know if the RDJ Doom is the Victor Von Doom of the movie 616 — and if so? There’s a metric ton of story that better pay it off. If what we’re getting is merely a variant? Then things are easily explained, and I’ll assume the focus is less on the how and more on the why.  Continue reading “So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man #102: Doomed” →

Brainiac On Banjo: More Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind

Brainiac On Banjo: More Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind

Posted on by Mike Gold

“Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower. Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna. Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe!” From I Am The Walrus, written by John Lennon.

As the great Hedley Lamarr famously said, “My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.” It is under this premise I share these random errant thoughts.

The closer President Joe Biden comes to the end of his term, the more he looks like he was drawn by Will Elder.

I firmly believe DC’s latest sub-imprint launch is being co-funded by a major vodka company.

Will Robert Downey Jr. be cast as Dr. Thomas Wayne? Will we see him buying those damn pearls?

I think Agatha All Along is a great example of contemporary social satire. Sorry, incels. She still won’t sleep with you.

There’s a great job opportunity waiting for a person qualified to keep IDW’s revolving door well-oiled.

The current Ryan North run on The Fantastic Four is nothing short of brilliant. The stuff that should be there is there, hung on the strong framework of great human interest stories. I highly recommend it. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: More Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Quit Your Bitching!

Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Quit Your Bitching!

Posted on by Mike Gold

“Oh Ricky, what a pity, don’t you understand that every day’s a rerun and the laughter’s always canned.” — From Ricky, written by Weird Al Yankovic

I have no idea why they still call it “social media.” We all know there’s very little social about it.

In fact, if you had been raised on the planet Mars and you perfected your command of American English from, say, reruns of “I Love Lucy,” you would be likely to think of it as anti-social media. You might share this opinion all day until the time when your fingers dance over your keyboard and you, too, feel you’ve had enough of those other assholes.

Case in point: You may have heard about the big Marvel movie panel a couple days ago at the annual San Diego Comic Con clusterfuck, or “SDCCC” for short. Anyway, it was revealed — to the surprise of a very, very few — that Doctor Doom was going to be the big bad in the next two Avengers movies, the second coming out sometime after global warming melts down the 12 remaining movie projectors. So they had their big reveal and, to a fanfare that actually came within a mile of Donald Trump’s Don Kirshner-like unveiling at the RNC, out in full, jerry-rigged green robotic glory, came the actor signed for the role.

In case you were still watching I Love Lucy reruns on Mars and you had yet to be informed, that actor was Robert Downey Junior. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Quit Your Bitching!” →