1) Does reading Maus turn you into a Jew? Or a mouse? Or, perhaps, a Jewish mouse?

2) Will reading Gender Queer turn you LGBTQIA?

3) Does reading Captain Underpants automatically turn you into a snot-nosed kid?

4) Will reading Sex Criminals turn you into a sex criminal? Will you have to register?

5) Does reading the collective works of Howard Chaykin encourage you to have oral sex and wear really expensive nylons?

6) Has reading EC Comics encouraged you to behead someone? More than one?

7) Can reading Fahrenheit 451 turn you into Michael York?

8) Is Drama really worth the drama?

9) Is The Lord of the Rings really an anti-Christian cult?

10) Does reading V For Vendetta turn you into a January 6th conspirator?

11) Is there a graphic novel discussing critical race theory? Maybe a choose-your-path type adventure?

12) Will reading Peanuts make you a Great Pumpkin convert?

13) If naked mice are bad for children, what’s up with Minnie Mouse?

14) Does book burning hasten global warming? (Warning: Trick question!)

15) Will reading banned graphic novels turn you into a member of the Democratic Party? What about Octobriana?

16) What the hell are these right-wing morons really afraid of?