Tag: Mike Pence

Brainiac On Banjo: Tits and Boobs and Breasts… Oh, My!

Brainiac On Banjo: Tits and Boobs and Breasts… Oh, My!

“‘Tits’ doesn’t even belong on the list! That’s such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. ‘Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey! Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots.’ It sounds like a snack, doesn’t it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. But I don’t mean your sexist snack! I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits, Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. ‘Betcha Can’t Eat Just One!’ That’s true. I usually switch off.” – George Carlin, The Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television

Of course there are a lot of things going on in this world that confuse me, and I suspect that might be true with you as well. Much of that confusion comes from America’s new environment of interpretive truth. To be fair, that is exacerbated by our politically correct atmosphere — that which the Christian Nationalists, dullards and assholes call “woke” because they can’t cope with five extra syllables.

One of the things that confuses me, and it has for quite some time now, is the proper euphemism for breasts. Oh, c’mon. It’s not like we don’t all have them. I realize the holy-moly rounders are not allowed to say “breasts” unless they’re in a Chick-fill-A and their hunger overwhelms their religious angst. Yes, I’m looking at you, Mike Pence.

From watching television commercials these days, it is clear that the word “boobs” is the current preference. Some find the word “tits” to be rude or even outright disgusting. Whereas boobs sounds like it’s more fun than tits (which is nonsense; they are equally fun), I don’t quite get it. The Oxford Dictionary defines boob as “a foolish or stupid person” and, second, as “an embarrassing mistake.” The whole breast thing is noted further down the listing. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Tits and Boobs and Breasts… Oh, My!”

As Is by Mike Gold – 9-11 Part Two

After two decades, the 9-11 terrorists finally cemented their victory. They did so 366 days ago this very day

The victory has been the result of the chain reaction they must have hoped for in 2001: that by mounting attacks from Boston on New York and Washington, slamming into the Pentagon building and taking down our nation’s greatest warehouse of capitalism, we might unite for a few minutes but overall but our fear and the distrust inherent within a mongrel nation quickly would vomit down upon us and we Americans would turn on each other just as we always do.

That’s the textbook definition of terrorism; that’s why terrorism is an effective course of action for those willing to play the long game.

Steve Bannon © Bill Sienkiewicz.

The time was perfect for The Impossible Pussy, Donald J. Trump, and his criminally paranoid minions of White Supremacists to try to take over the nation. I don’t think they could have gotten as far as they have – their efforts remain a work in progress – if not for Osama bin Laden, the heart and soul of the contemporary Republican Party.

Critically, this White Supremacist Republican takeover of the United States of America by any means necessary (it’s not a coup as it’s hardly been bloodless, and only some White Supremacists think it has been bloodless) is indeed just the beginning. They stand every chance of succeeding. A handful of White Christian Republican far right-wing monsters and perverts can deny the people their vote or can overturn that vote at will. That, my friends, is a dictatorship.

You may think comparing the American White Right to Hitler is a cheap shot; it is not. Read some history. Not FoxOneAmericaBannon history where teaching the lessons of slavery might bruise the fragile feelings of some neurotic Youth Corps-raised White children and therefore must not be taught, but the real thing. The American White Republican Right is desperately and militantly trying to fulfill Adolf Hitler’s dream – no matter how many White American soldiers and sailors died in the fight to stop the fascist dictator. And, today, the American White Right Republicans have managed to label “anti-fascists” as our great evil.

These people know better. In their initial response to the first assault on our nation back on January 6 2021, the actions and inactions of Donald J. Trump and his White Supremacist Republican sycophants were condemned by such stalwart Republican masters as Mitch McConnell, Kevin McCarthy, Mike Pence, Lindsey Graham, and Nikki Haley. Since then, those comments have been sent to the Star Trek mirror universe. Oh, no. McConnell, McCarthy, Pence, Graham and Haley never said anything bad about Trump. That would be heretical. Trump is god; what he does is by definition for the greater good of Real America… the White Christian Republican America.

The present Republican party is the party of bigotry, hatred, and treason. Their masters are McConnell, McCarthy, Pence, Graham, Haley and Trump. We better obey the All-Mighty Trump if we want to breathe right.

Today is the 366th day of the Second American Civil War. It did not start pretty; it will not end pretty… if it ends at all. I wouldn’t bet against the United States of America not being around when and if it’s over. It won’t be a north vs. south thing, it won’t be a state-by-state thing, it will be a city-state operation where those areas dominated by people who are not White Christian Republican Supremacists will replace our “blue” states, leaving the vast dry oceans of American hatred to be our “red” states. You’ll be able to tell where you are by the number of masks worn on the streets, the availability of women’s health services, the number of non-Christian houses of worship, a general acknowledgement of deductive reasoning and the respect for the principles that were the firmament of that great nation, that Camelot-like place on hill that we used to call the United States of America.

You may have a different opinion… but you would be wrong.

Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mind  #079: “I Didn’t Know You Could Die From The Flu.”

Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mind #079: “I Didn’t Know You Could Die From The Flu.”

Right from my toes / On up to my nose / Flow on, flow on, river of shit / I’ve been swimming In this river of shit / More than 20 years, and I’m getting tired of it / Don’t like swimming, hope it’ll soon run dry / Got to go on swimming, cause I don’t want to die. • Wide, Wide River, written by Ken Weaver and Lionel Lewis Goldbart from The Fugs’ 1969 album “It Crawled Into My Hand, Honest.”

Please re-read the headline above. It has quotes around it because, last Friday, the Great Orange Fool said “Over the last long period of time, you have an average of 36,000 people dying (a year) … I never heard those numbers. I would’ve been shocked. I would’ve said, ‘Does anybody die from the flu? I didn’t know people died from the flu.’”

For the record, the President of the United States did not start COVID-19. He has done all he could to spread the disease due to his actions, his inactions, his disgust with science, his jealousy of those more intelligent than he, the way he goes down on the so-called religious voters, and his obligations to Vlad Putin and to those who finance his ventures and have kept him out of prison thus far have reduced the global population to quivering androids of Jell-O without any real clue as to what they should do, except for washing their hands in 120 proof alcohol.

Worst yet – Trump’s actions started long before we ever heard the word “Coronavirus.” In 2018, many of America’s top officials charged with handling pandemics got fired for having dared to have been hired by Barack Obama. Rear Admiral Timothy Ziemer, the National Security Council’s senior director of global health and biodefense, was replaced by giving his responsibilities to that well known health care expert, John Bolton. Not-Doctor-John promptly pushed out Tom Bossert, the NCS adviser who recommended maintaining strong defenses against disease and biological warfare. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mind #079: “I Didn’t Know You Could Die From The Flu.””

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #059: ENOUGH!

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #059: ENOUGH!

To the best of my recollection, the first time I was embarrassed to be an American was about 40 years ago. There was a severe drought going on in California, and one of their officials proposed we build a pipeline from the Great Lakes to help them out.

Forgot about how Californians would have been reduced to cinders long before such a pipeline could be built and put into service. The United States does not own our vast Inter-Ocean. All that fresh water borders on Canada as well as the States, and much of their population lives within about 20 miles of the live-giving wetness. Even a fairly slight drop in the water level would wreak havoc with the people and the economies of, among other places, Toronto, Montreal, Winnipeg, and Windsor.

It would severely undermine navigation, traumatize and end navigation on the St. Lawrence Seaway. By the way, it would have a similar effect on the people of, among other places, Detroit, Duluth, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cleveland, Buffalo, and Erie. If you’re unfamiliar with the map — yes, I’m talking to you, my fellow New Yorkers — check it out. The Great Lakes are directly linked to the Mississippi River, part of a network that includes, oh, the Ohio River, the Missouri River, and much of Mark Twain’s work. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #059: ENOUGH!”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #025: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #025: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Forget, if you can, his incessant self-serving ego-pandering tweets. Forget his strange fetish for violent dictators. His continuous denial of scientific fact. His rampant bigotry and his classic xenophobia. And stop wasting your time trying to decode his nefarious master plan, starting with his Black Floyd Wall. A plan of any sort does not exist. It never did.

I know. You can’t forget. Something about the fate of the world and you’re still young and / or you have kids or at least you’re thinking about it. To quote once again Lenny Bruce: “Yadda yadda yadda.” The fact is, so many of Donald Trump’s plans and propositions are nakedly stupid. We all suffer from the pains of the Law of Unintended Consequences; that’s human nature, or fate, or karma — whatever; your mileage may vary. What I mean here is stupid. So stupid that even Ike Broflovski knows it, and he’s in kindergarten.

Which is why, this week, my respect for German Chancellor Angela Merkel hit a new high.

First, a technical consideration. Chancellor Merkel discussed the sheer stupidity of Trump’s tariffs policy before the Munich Security Conference. She was a complete professional, combining many contradicting emotions — befuddlement, bewilderment, anger, fear, and complete disbelief – into one, long television-friendly wince. That is not easy to do. I’ve done a lot of public speaking, and I know how tough that is. Give it a try. Don’t hurt yourself. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #025: Stupid Is As Stupid Does”