“‘Tits’ doesn’t even belong on the list! That’s such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. ‘Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey! Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots.’ It sounds like a snack, doesn’t it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. But I don’t mean your sexist snack! I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits, Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. ‘Betcha Can’t Eat Just One!’ That’s true. I usually switch off.” – George Carlin, The Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television
Of course there are a lot of things going on in this world that confuse me, and I suspect that might be true with you as well. Much of that confusion comes from America’s new environment of interpretive truth. To be fair, that is exacerbated by our politically correct atmosphere — that which the Christian Nationalists, dullards and assholes call “woke” because they can’t cope with five extra syllables.
One of the things that confuses me, and it has for quite some time now, is the proper euphemism for breasts. Oh, c’mon. It’s not like we don’t all have them. I realize the holy-moly rounders are not allowed to say “breasts” unless they’re in a Chick-fill-A and their hunger overwhelms their religious angst. Yes, I’m looking at you, Mike Pence.
From watching television commercials these days, it is clear that the word “boobs” is the current preference. Some find the word “tits” to be rude or even outright disgusting. Whereas boobs sounds like it’s more fun than tits (which is nonsense; they are equally fun), I don’t quite get it. The Oxford Dictionary defines boob as “a foolish or stupid person” and, second, as “an embarrassing mistake.” The whole breast thing is noted further down the listing. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Tits and Boobs and Breasts… Oh, My!”
Please re-read the headline above. It has quotes around it because, last Friday, the Great Orange Fool said “Over the last long period of time, you have an average of 36,000 people dying (a year) … I never heard those numbers. I would’ve been shocked. 
To the best of my recollection, the first time I was embarrassed to be an American was about 40 years ago. There was a severe drought going on in California, and one of their officials proposed we build a pipeline from the Great Lakes to help them out.
Forget, if you can, his incessant self-serving ego-pandering tweets. Forget his strange fetish for violent dictators. His continuous denial of scientific fact. His rampant bigotry and his classic xenophobia. And stop wasting your time trying to decode his nefarious master plan, starting with his Black Floyd Wall. A plan of any sort does not exist. It never did.
First, a technical consideration. Chancellor Merkel discussed the sheer stupidity of Trump’s tariffs policy before the Munich Security Conference. She was a complete professional, combining many contradicting emotions — befuddlement, bewilderment, anger, fear, and complete disbelief – into one, long television-friendly wince. That is not easy to do. I’ve done a lot of public speaking, and I know how tough that is. Give it a try. Don’t hurt yourself. 