Tag: Lenny Bruce

As Is With Mike Gold: Kill Your Darlings

As Is With Mike Gold: Kill Your Darlings

God said to Abraham, “Kill me a son.” Abe said, “Man, you must be puttin’ me on.” God say, “No.” Abe say, “What?” God say, “You can do what you want to, but the next time you see me comin’ you better run. Abe said “Where do you want this killing done?” – Bob Dylan, Highway 61 Revisited, 1965

Global warming. Covid. Freedom. Yadda-yadda-yadda, to quote Lenny Bruce. Let’s call it what it is.

Filicide.

As a card-carrying septuagenarian, for me climate change most likely will remain little more than an inconvenience. But I strongly believe we must do something about it because, in one of my rare less-narcissistic observations, I love my kid, but I just don’t know how long she can tread water. We’re supposed to make sacrifices for our kids’ welfare, if for no other reason than that eventual quid-pro-quo.

I should think most parents feel the same way, but I have my doubts. This past week, the Republican Cult of Obstruction once again made it perfectly clear that anything having to do with saving the planet, and therefore our children, will not receive any attention in Congress. These same Cultists rejected, unanimously, the American Rescue Plan that has since saved America’s ass, for which these hypocrites are now trying to take credit. They’re a minority but given the fact that all too many politicians passionately believe that 50.01% does not constitute a majority, the zealots are both intellectually and instinctually challenged.

Perhaps I’m not being fair. The dogmatists seem to care about the concept of offspring – but only up to the moment the fetuses void the womb and mew their first sounds. I’m amazed these holy holy shitheads don’t demand their li’l bastards cut their own damn umbilical cords.

If you still have doubts, look at all the Republican Cultists who refuse to have their children vaccinated. Yes, I’m referring to the Covid shots, but many feel this way about other vaccines: chicken pox, HPV, diphtheria, measles, hepatitis, influenza, polio… to name but a few.

Oh, wait. We stopped polio, didn’t we? Well, yes, we did. In 1952 alone, over 58,000 Americans were disabled by polio, a third were left partially or fully paralyzed, and many died (source: Fox News; so there!). Today, that number is down to zero (one case was reported in 1993, brought in by an unvaccinated visitor). How the hell did we do that? Oh, yeah. Everybody got the polio vaccine! If you didn’t get your kid vaccinated against polio in the 1950s, you were considered by many to be a Communist.

These are highly infectious diseases. The Republican Cultists say “I have a right to refuse a vaccine.” Humm… well, I haven’t found any evidence we have a right to commit manslaughter. By extension, childslaughter is frowned upon as well. If you want to die, there are plenty of bridges around and their state of disrepair won’t matter. But, please, don’t shove your kids off first. As I like to say, when it comes to suicide, don’t be a dick. Continue reading “As Is With Mike Gold: Kill Your Darlings”

Brainiac On Banjo: Hey, Kids! VIOLENCE!!!

Brainiac On Banjo: Hey, Kids! VIOLENCE!!!

I’m a mean mistweetah, A wabbit feastah, And I pwedict, A bwoody Eastaw, A scuwowing shadow, And dah shadow was dis wabbit, And dah night aiwah echoes, Kill dah wabbit! — Bob Rivers, Kill The Wabbit, 2009

Felix The Cat was our first animated hero, making his debut in Otto Messmer’s Feline Follies in 1919. The plot: A stereotypical old lady goes out for the evening, leaving her house in the hands of her kitty, Mister Tom (played by Felix – look, just go with that). Being a tom cat, once the coast is clear Felix splits to his girlfriend’s house for an off-screen tête-à-tête.

Of course, while the cat’s away the mice will play. In fact, they’ll rip the old lady’s house apart. By the time Felix returns, the house is decimated but he’s too blissed out to notice. Then the owner returns, freaks out at all the damage, beats the poo out of Felix and slings him out of the house.

The slightly indignant Felix doesn’t care. He goes back to his girlfriend’s house and is greeted with open paws. Then about a billion newborn kittens, each looking exactly like Felix, swarms all over their papa. Evidently, cartoon kitties have a remarkably short gestation period. Be this as it may, it is now Felix’s turn to freak. He runs away, straight to the nearby gas field where he attaches a hose to an in-ground spigot and commits suicide.

Was there general outrage over Feline Follies? Was there an upsurge of kids running to gas fields to off themselves? Did anybody ban the sale of brooms to cat-owners?

Hell, no. People didn’t take this stuff seriously. It was a cartoon, not a documentary.

Was Messmer advocating violence by mice, cats or old ladies? Was he advocating unprotected kitty sex? Was he suggesting suicide was the best way to handle trauma? Again, hell no. It was a cartoon.

Because my brain is wired differently than yours, I thought of Feline Follies when I heard of a comics writer/artist being accused of being a fascist for working on a best-selling heroic fantasy comic book. Said writer/artist was accused by another writer/artist, who was no stranger to the concept of cartoon violence. If you labor in the fields of heroic fantasy, evidently, you are wearing an invisible SS uniform. Well, as Lenny Bruce pointed out, “Gestapo? I’m the damn mailman!”

Violence has been the cornerstone of heroic fantasy going back to the Year Gimmel. The line was blurry when the major source of such stories was in the realm of the religions that are now regarded as mythology as well as the religions that various warring factions today regard as gospel. But once it is removed from these trappings of conviction, fictional violence is just a plot device. If Elmer Fudd inspires your kid to want to get a shotgun, your kid needs professional help.

But once parenting became perceived as a science – which it is not; it’s an art form – “cartoon violence” had to be… edited. ‘Doilies for the mind’, to quote Mason Williams. The Three Stooges have been entertaining people since 1922, but their oeuvre became scissor-fodder in the early 1960s. How many of you have great-great grandparents whose eyes were poked out? Bugs Bunny is a latecomer, having debuted (as developed) some 80 years ago. He, too, has suffered the fate of a thousand cuts.

Entire generations of humans have been raised since we became smotheringly overprotective. Are we now a less violent society? Maybe you’ve never read a “newspaper,” but if your knowledge intake is limited to even the most anti-social of social media you should be aware that real-world violence remains a VERY Big Deal. Maybe we should deal with the real, physical issues that lead to such behavior instead of emasculating Wile E. Coyote and Larry Fine.

I have been known to toss the fascist tag around myself. I understand the definition of the term because I know how to work a dictionary. I try to use it appropriately, even when I’m being purposely offensive. Simply working on a heroic fantasy story that involves such violence does not make you a fascist, it makes you a storyteller. Batman could be perceived as a colloquial fascist, yet many of his better stories have been created by the late card-carrying liberal Denny O’Neil as well as by his opposite number on the right, Chuck Dixon. This does not make either a fascist.

Owning a gun, let alone writing about owning a gun, does not make you a fascist. Believing Smith and Wesson, Ruger and Colt should be in charge of our foreign policy just might – but any student of 20th century history should know better.

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #070: Words of Wisdom, Words of Strife

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #070: Words of Wisdom, Words of Strife

“Words are trouble, words are subtle / Words of anger, words of hate / Words over here, words out there / In the air and everywhere / Words of wisdom, words of strife / Words that write the book I like.” – Tina Weymouth, Chris Frantz and Steven Stanley, Wordy Rappinghood

“Gestapo? You asshole, I’m the mailman!” – Lenny Bruce

Lenny Bruce

Ayn Rand, Dick Gregory, and Pol Pot walk into a bar…

Yeah, I know. Too soon. But, damn, what ever happened to our sense of humor? It seems the more we care about something, the less perspective we have about the subject. Humor is key to establishing and expanding one’s perspective.

Irwin Corey

Laughter opens doors. Satire opens minds. Al Capone did not say “You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone,” but he could have. In fact, this observation was given to us by Professor Irwin Corey, a Broadway actor, an incisive comedian, a far-left activist, and a hero of mine. And the good professor certainly made Capone’s point for him – we take this misattributed quote as an axiom. It makes the point succinctly, and it gets that point across the plate.

We are so concerned about not hurting somebody’s feelings that we forget that some feelings deserve to be hurt. That’s part of bringing about change. You don’t have to take malicious pride in doing so if you don’t want to, but you can get much farther with a funny word than by breeding mopery. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #070: Words of Wisdom, Words of Strife”

Brainiac On Banjo #042: We’re Not Getting Mad…

Brainiac On Banjo #042: We’re Not Getting Mad…

All your children are poor unfortunate victims of lies you believe / A plague upon your ignorance that keeps the young from the truth they deserve. – Frank Zappa, “What’s The Ugliest Part of Your Body?”

For those who have been following the long and lingering death of Mad Magazine, a couple days ago things took another turn for the worse when it was announced that after two more inventory-burning issues, the legendary publication would stop running new material.

That’s sad. 67 years ago Mad changed the nature of our culture, being the first comic book to confront our nation’s culture and its many foibles head-on. It was an important part of a vital movement in the 1950s spawned by innovators such as Lenny Bruce, Dick Gregory, Second City, Ernie Kovacs and Moms Mabley. Mad was all the more important by being the first specifically oriented to those not yet old enough to vote. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo #042: We’re Not Getting Mad…”

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #024: Times Are Always A-Changin’

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #024: Times Are Always A-Changin’

It appears that those of us living in the bucolic, yet myopic state of Connecticut will be able to buy weed on the way to a gay wedding – both sanctioned by law.

As Mr. Zimmerman said, the times they are a-changin’. They’re always a-changin’, back and forth, three steps forward and two steps back. But these days they’re changing at a much faster pace. 60 years ago, Lenny Bruce said “Marijuana will be legal someday, because the many law students who now smoke pot will one day be Congressmen and they will legalize it to protect themselves.” Well, he was mistaken about the timing – President Clinton said he smoked weed when he was in school but he didn’t inhale. I am one of the few who believe him: Bill was such a wimp that he probably didn’t inhale. Besides, he already had the munchies.

A decade later President Obama said he did inhale, but his admission did not change his position on tossing kids in prison and destroying their lives for something as comparatively innocuous as marijuana. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #024: Times Are Always A-Changin’”