Warning: the following article is about a piece of old pop culture that I have only recently absorbed for the first time. As such, much of this article will find you asking yourself “Wait. Seriously? He’s never seen Labyrinth before now?”, and I’m making it clear from the get go.

I literally watched Labyrinth for the first time, ever, a few days ago.

What troubles many about this fact is that my beautiful, talented, witty, charming, trivia-strong, Chuck Taylor obsessed wife often cites this among her favorite movies of all time. So how is it then after… roughly 9,200 days together I have never indulged the mother of my children the common courtesy of hunkering down to consume Jim Henson’s beloved romp featuring David Bowie and his astounding… prowess…

I could make a lengthy list to attempt to defend myself, but I largely imagine doing so wouldn’t exactly get me off the hook with Kathy or anyone else who consider it essential pop culture of the 80’s.

One last warning: I admit freely that I am not much into fantasy stuff. I’m super finicky about it for reasons unbeknownst even to me. And I was clear to my better half that I would hold no punches back on these hot takes. Same as I did for Top Gun and Caddyshack… I booted up the flick, hit play, and fired off my opinion in media res. That way, everyone can enjoy some hot mic moments that don’t get rose colored glasses in post. If after this articles post you don’t see me writing for subsequent weeks thereafter? SEND HEL—

ACT ONE Continue reading “So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man #114: Unseen Hot Takes… Labyrinth” →