Tag: James Kirk

Brainiac On Banjo: Who Woke Trek Up?

Brainiac On Banjo: Who Woke Trek Up?

The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime. You shuffle in the gloom of the sick room and talk to yourself as you die.” From Free Four, written by Roger Waters.

“Woke, woke, woke. WOKE, woke, woke, WOKE, WOKE!”

The death chant of the Trumpaloon.

There’s a very loud gaggle of incels out there on the internet who truly loathe nearly all of Paramount’s steaming Star Trek programs. Most of them seem to have two things in common. First, the new shows reject canon. Second, the new shows are horribly, horribly woke.

OK. If they saw the shows, they are entitled to their opinion. I must state for the record: the phrase “I’m entitled to my opinion” is complete bullshit. You are only entitled to an informed opinion. I can’t simply accuse you of being, say, a pederast without something to back it up. Babbling like a crazy, stupid fool remains the sole providence of our current President.

Having labored in the comic book fields for a half-century, I can state from experience that “canon” and “continuity” must be a bit fluid. There is dissension between well-versed experts on a great many issues. You could not remake Star Trek TOS today with those 1960s cardboard sets, the characterizations, and the other limits of that time. So I don’t give a damn about canonical feuds.

However, as for being “woke,” what ever the fuck that is, well, Star Trek always has been woke. TOS was so woke if they changed the Klingons name to “LBJ” they would have been The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Peace, understanding, dedication to science and to not interfering with (most) unique cultures today would get you kicked out of your Proud Boys unit. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Who Woke Trek Up?” →

Brainiac on Banjo: Bond… Hoagy Bond?

Brainiac on Banjo: Bond… Hoagy Bond?

Have no fear, look who’s here… James Bond… They’ve got us on the run… With guns… And knives… We’re fighting for our lives. – Casino Royale, written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David.

The US release of the first James Bond comic book.

Sherlock Holmes. Tarzan. Superman. James Kirk. James Bond. The public’s continuing appetite for heroic fantasy superstars has long been well established, and ever since communication went mass they have been at the center of the most prevalent form of entertainment worldwide. This is a truth that validates our low-brow culture: it turns out that both boys and girls just want to have fun.

Not all such characters live forever. Tarzan, like The Lone Ranger, The Shadow, Bulldog Drummond and many other superstars of action, are in serious danger of being relegated to the storage stacks of cultural history. Of course, that death need not be permanent: Doctor Who, Star Trek and several others have been successfully resurrected and modernized without destroying the fabric of their creation.

When it comes to one of the most successful heroes, at the present we are on hold. Daniel Craig has retired as the latest James Bond and, even though the next Bond flick is just entering its development stage I can’t help but wonder how they’ll pull off James’ inevitable resurrection. Continue reading “Brainiac on Banjo: Bond… Hoagy Bond?” →