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Brainiac On Banjo: Hey! Know Your Rights — The Comic Book!

Brainiac On Banjo: Hey! Know Your Rights — The Comic Book!

Posted on by Mike Gold

“Here I am with my immigration form, it’s big enough to keep me warm when a cold wind’s coming, so go where you will as long as you think you can, you’d better watch out. Watch out for the man, anywhere you’re going.” From Immigration Man, written by Graham Nash.

For some — all too many — this might be the most important comic book they will ever possess.

Yeah, I know. You’re heard that before. A lot. I’ve said it before, probably in promotional copy that was supposed to motivate you to spend your last dime on a comic with my name in it… as well as other names, of course. But this time that sentence most certainly carries the ambiance of truthiness.

This critically important comic is titled Know Your Rights and it’s published by the New York City Public Schools, although outside of a few local contacts (which, generally, have corollaries in most cities) the information is completely useful throughout the United States of America. This, unfortunately, remains particularly in those large areas like Minneapolis, Chicago, Portland, Los Angeles, and way too many others where armed, nameless, cowardly masked federal agents of all sorts are lawlessly rounding up foreign-born residents and tossing them into brick-and-mortal concentration camps. Of course, after an extended period of incarceration in filthy chicken-wired pits, they are shackled and deported, usually to a country to which those people had either never been or to a country where they face torture and death due to their opposition to some of their former homeland’s government ethics.

These inmates have not been convicted of anything in open court and are not granted their rights to due process.

King Trump’s America is doing this without giving these human beings the rights we constitutionally give to all while within our borders… well, certainly, to most white men and many white women, and who are not Muslims or whatever other religions also are on the Christian Nationalist Hitlist on that day.

It turns out there are lots and lots of things people can do once being stomped upon by ICE, the FBI, the border patrol, the Proud Boys (or whatever the fuck these pigs are calling themselves today), et al. And this comic book details just what those things are.

Know Your Rights is a comic book in all aspects except some text stuff in the back. It’s thirty-two pages, comic book sized, and its done by genuine comic book talent. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Hey! Know Your Rights — The Comic Book!” →

So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man 104: Bobby Drake Needs to Change His Name

So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man 104: Bobby Drake Needs to Change His Name

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman

I badly wanted to write about pop culture this week. I have loads of hot takes on things like Absolute Batman, the newest album from Robbie Williams, my current (always behind the times) obsessions, Only Murders in the Building, and Welcome to Wrexham — and any number of other gripes and japes around all things in the zeitgeist.

Alex Pretti – ICU Nurse killed in the streets in Minneaoplis on 1/23/26

But you already know what happened on Saturday, January 24th in Minneapolis. The same thing also happened on January 7th. Same city. Same reason. I could fill my entire column with my outrage. But that won’t bring back the dead. It won’t remove ICE from Minneapolis. It very likely wouldn’t change a single person’s opinion — which these days is already immovable as Fred Dukes. You pick your side, and you bend rationality like Wanda Maximoff… until it suits the team whose colors you brandish.

Sadly, we live in a time where our published opinions can come back to haunt our professional lives. Never mind your station, if the powers that be should ever hear one peep from someone pointing their finger at your shared ire, that can become grounds for dismissal. It’s why multiple friends of mine working in education have stifled themselves — due in part to being made to sign documents at the top of the school year that prevents them from oversharing on social media. Seriously. Luckily for me? I’m merely a pixel pusher in an unrelated business, and am near certain not a single one of my coworkers reads a word I write unless it’s on Slack… denoting to them their project is ready for review. Consider this my rolling of the dice. But I digress.

Like many in my social circles… I’m past the stage where I’m joking when I consider the very real possibility of things like World War 3, or Civil War 2. I’ll admit I clicked on more than a few ads about emigrating to a Tim Hortons until the current administration takes their last unnecessary aspirin. Sad when a double-double, maple bar, or brain aneurysm are my current pipe dreams, eh? Were my family and best friends not here in the states, I would be a bit more zealous on Zillow.  Continue reading “So Long and Thank For The Fish, Man 104: Bobby Drake Needs to Change His Name” →

Brainiac On Banjo: “We’re Just Going To Kill People”

Brainiac On Banjo: “We’re Just Going To Kill People”

Posted on by Mike Gold

“I think we’re just gonna kill people that are bringing drugs into our country, OK? We are going to kill them, you know? They are going to be, like, dead.” — Donald J. Trump, president, United States of America, October 23, 2025.

Photo: Chicago Sun-Times

How many of us thought the primary cause of global warming would be the President of the United States setting the world on fire?

Yeah, this week’s blather is going to be a bit personal. As you may know, I’m a proud and vocal Chicagoan. I am reminded of what we used to say back in the 1960s. Chicken Little was right.

I grew up in a neighborhood called Albany Park, on my city’s mid-northwest side. Like most Chicago neighborhoods, its character and personality evolved with the various ethnicities who lived there each generation. It was largely Ashkenazi-American when I was a kid, and as my group moved to other neighborhoods over time their apartments were rented by Asian-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, Arab-Americans, and all kinds of folks who marked their turf by establishing amazing restaurants. That’s why Chicago had such an amazing public transportation system.

Earlier this month, Trump’s Troopers invaded Albany Park as well as several other neighborhoods as they sought out anybody who looked or acted the least bit Latino. They tear-gassed people, beat them, and arrested them regardless of their citizenship or its status or any evidence — let alone indictments — of criminal behavior. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: “We’re Just Going To Kill People”” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Giving The Earth The Finger

Brainiac On Banjo: Giving The Earth The Finger

Posted on by Mike Gold

“How soft your fields so green can whisper tales of gore of how we calmed the tides of war. We are your overlords.” From Immigrant Song, written by Jimmy Page and Robert Plant.

You might have heard about this. Then again, you might be ducking the news these days, and I can hardly blame you. Trigger warning: this story might make you want to go find a real trigger.

Here’s the story. Twenty-eight year-old British cartoonist Rebecca “R.E.” Burke was in Portland, Oregon on a four month backpacking trip across North America. She travelled up towards Vancouver in British Columbia for the Canadian portion of her trip but the border authorities in Canada said she didn’t have the right kind of visa and returned her to the United States.

At the border, United States I.C.E. agents, a branch of the American Nazi Party, declared her an illegal alien. She wasn’t an illegal before she hit Interstate 5 so I assume the gun-toting morons at I.C.E. mistook her for a Negro Muslim trafficking in brushes and pencils who just couldn’t be bothered to speak American. She has been locked up since February 26th.

According to The Daily Cartoonist, “Burke has asked for voluntary departure, but ‘the process of appearing in front of a judge as part of voluntary departure could be delayed because several dozen of the approximately 700 immigration judges had resigned or been fired by the Trump administration.’ Compounding her plight, her family cannot add money to her inmate account for her to buy essentials because of they are foreigners so they rely on American friends to deposit support money for her.” Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Giving The Earth The Finger” →

So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #043: Top Gun Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #043: Top Gun Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman

Warning: the following article is about a piece of old pop culture that I have only recently absorbed for the first time. As such, much of this article will find you asking yourself “Wait, seriously, he’s never seen Top Gun before now?” and I’m making it clear from the get go:

I literally watched Top Gun for the first time, ever, a few days ago.

And I did it because, I kid you not, a would-be investor in Unshaven Comics outright refused to even be pitched to until I did. To be clear: it’s not that I wasn’t familiar with the movie. But when the movie came out, I was 5 years old. My family didn’t go to the movies, and I was never much into military stuff (Like G.I. Joe and the like). I knew Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer were in it. I know the soundtrack was Loggins heavy. And I recalled once asking Unshaven Kyle about the climax of the movie (when it happened to be on in our apartment at the time) and he told me “eh, the whole movie is just about fancy maneuvers.” Continue reading “So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #043: Top Gun Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” →

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #044: Fireworks

Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #044: Fireworks

Posted on by Mike Gold

Happy Fourth of July, our national celebration of the time a whole lot of immigrants and their offspring told the guy in charge that they’d had enough of his shit. It’s a great American tradition.

It has become quite hard to celebrate this majestic event when our coward in charge and his underlings in ICE, the U.S. Customs and Border Protection agency, the Republican Senate caucus and their fellow travelers literally are torturing thousands of children and their parents.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, holy shit, pick up a newspaper and stop paying attention to the most-excellent professional liars at Fox. All kinds of horrible things are being done to children in your name, and it does not matter who they are or how they got here. Continue reading “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #044: Fireworks” →