“Oh Ricky, what a pity, don’t you understand that every day’s a rerun and the laughter’s always canned.” — From Ricky, written by Weird Al Yankovic

I have no idea why they still call it “social media.” We all know there’s very little social about it.

In fact, if you had been raised on the planet Mars and you perfected your command of American English from, say, reruns of “I Love Lucy,” you would be likely to think of it as anti-social media. You might share this opinion all day until the time when your fingers dance over your keyboard and you, too, feel you’ve had enough of those other assholes.

Case in point: You may have heard about the big Marvel movie panel a couple days ago at the annual San Diego Comic Con clusterfuck, or “SDCCC” for short. Anyway, it was revealed — to the surprise of a very, very few — that Doctor Doom was going to be the big bad in the next two Avengers movies, the second coming out sometime after global warming melts down the 12 remaining movie projectors. So they had their big reveal and, to a fanfare that actually came within a mile of Donald Trump’s Don Kirshner-like unveiling at the RNC, out in full, jerry-rigged green robotic glory, came the actor signed for the role.

In case you were still watching I Love Lucy reruns on Mars and you had yet to be informed, that actor was Robert Downey Junior. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Quit Your Bitching!” →