“Tune in Wild Man of Borneo on bongos. Count Basie Orchestra on triangle. Great to hear the Rawlinsons on trombone. Back from his recent operation, Dan Druff, harp. And representing the flower people, Quasimodo on bells. Wonderful to hear Brainiac on banjo.” From The Intro and the Outro, written by Vivian Stanshall.
Do you know where you were on May 29, 1958? I know where I was. I realize most of you weren’t around then. I was just two months shy of my eighth birthday, and that was just another day I tried to read a comic book. A very specific comic book, which has now morphed into a t-shirt.
It’s an adequate metaphor for my unusual life. I had been reading comic books since about the time I could walk. Well, actually, my sister babysat me by reading her comic books out loud, but being a precocious and obnoxious little shit, I fell in love with the medium, and with assistance from my aforementioned sister, I taught myself how to read.
As was my parents’ want, I was attending a Hebrew school after my regular school day, walking the mile from public to private classroom. It was a waste of my parents’ money: they were trying to convert me from atheism to the family faith. I was born a non-believer so their attempt was fruitless. Nonetheless, I attended class, failing miserably at learning the language but enthusiastically debating the sundry Rabbis over doctrine. Those guys love a good argument, and my skill at being a verbose asshole earned me a good spot on the Honor Roll. Hey, go know.
The Hebrew school I attended was a small storefront on a arterial road, where the El Pueblito restaurant is in the logo panel above. It was directly across the street from Weiner’s Drugs (non-extant) and their fabulously gigantic “Hey, Kids! Comics!” spinner rack. I had class three days a week, the latter being on Thursday. That was the day new comics hit the newsstands, and I state with complete certainty that each and every Thursday I went to that drug store to scope out new releases before I whipped out my skullcap. Most certainly, I was at Weiner’s on Thursday, May 29 1958 where I purchased a copy of Action Comics #242. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Merch Journey”
