Tag: Handmaid’s Tale Season 2

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The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E10 “The Last Ceremony” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E10 “The Last Ceremony” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • The title of the episode is “The Last Ceremony”. This bodes well.
  • Hey! A commander has a heart attack after rape. Praise be! Bonus points for the nut shot.
  • Childwife and ManbabySoldier are sure getting friendly.
  • “Oh, I’m so pleased to be stealing this child!” Go to hell Serena Joy.
  • Make way for Aunt BitchBag everyone!
  • Wowsers. A black commander. A black VIRILE commander. Gird your loins, men.
  • Whoa whoa whoa. Wait wait. The wives have their own fake-birth ceremony? This clinches it. When the season is over? I’m doing some fanfic crossovers where Jessica Jones lays waste to Gilead.
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. June 1. Serena 0.
  • Aunt Bitchbag’s spicy mango tea? I see Kermit sipping it already. Also, did June just mildly threaten Serena with an ass whoopin’? June 2. Serena 0.
  • Oh, June. You didn’t think he’d say yes, did you. But I appreciate the moxie. And I LOVE that on her way out she is burning every damned bridge she crosses. June 3. Waterfords 0.
  • Oh. This is. I can’t. I may stop the episode right now. The Waterfords are pure, unforgivable evil.
  • GASP! Childwife and ManBabySoldier! SHE’S UNCLEAN. And Nick likes to watch. Vurrrp.
  • Oh, poor Childwife. You know not what you say. I mean, you figured Nick like June. Good on you for that. But seriously. You’re 15. And this fucked up religious cult you are indoctrinated in has ruined your poor mind.
  • “Please stop crying.” Congrats Nick. NOW you’re a father.
  • PAUSE. Voldefred has a “surprise.” I swear to whatever God-Like-Being that is reading my recaps… If this asshat brings Hannah out as a present for raping a pregnant woman, I’m going to… OK, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ll be really sad.
  • Fuck the Waterfords. There’s no bounds to the cruelty of this show. “Why didn’t you try harder?”… Tear my god-damned spine out of my body.
  • Telling your own child to “Love your parents” when YOU CAN’T BE HER MOTHER is one of the most gut-wrenching things I’ve seen June endure. AND SHE WAS LITERALLY RAPED AN EVENING AGO. 
  • For fuck’s sake. Nick? SHOOT THE WATERFORDS.
  • Holy shit. Nevermind. Well, I don’t think I can breathe now.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E9 “Smart Power” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E9 “Smart Power” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • Martha is permanently stuck on sass-mode. Nothing deeper to report.
  • “Hi. I’m Issac. I like long walks on the beech. The writings of Levi. And this rifle.”
  • The Handmaid’s Tale is going to Canada! Wooooooo! Someone start a round of “If I Had A Million Dollars”!
  • And the award for deep-rooted irony goes to… Voldefred, for his “the Canadians need to know that you’re not an abused woman living in an oppressed society that YOU WERE TOTALLY IN-PART RESPONSIBLE FOR.”
  • Hey! Childwife made cookies. And HusbandBlankStare is sure… Nick.
  • Serena Joy sure is a bitch. “When the baby pops out, you gon’ bitch.” “Bu—” “Suck it, whore.”
  • Oh, hey! Luke woke the fuuuuuudge up when he saw his wife’s ritual rapist. YAY!
  • Moira… it’s time to learn strategic ninja star throwing.
  • That’s right, Serena. Gaze upon a metropolis filled with energy, life, words, love, and civility. It turns out you didn’t need to reduce society to some psuedo-Amish backwards-assed joyless patriarchy! Now, smile and be pretty for the meetings like a good bitch. (Get it. That’s a pun, because she’s an obedient female dog, and an ass!)
  • SICK GAY BURN, BRAH!
  • It’s hard not to make a thousand notes tonight. I’m sorry. DID THEY JUST GIVE HER A PICTURE-GRAM SCHEDULE?! Ha! I mean, I literally paused on her grimace just to soak it up.
  • Unwoman. Gun to the temple. I’m rewinding to Serena’s face.
  • Won’t even share the elevator with her. Suck it, Housefrau Bitchface. You are amidst free people.
  • Take the treason and coconuts, idiot. WHO KNEW THAT SCIENCE TRUMPS YOUR DOPEY FAKE RELIGION. I love Mr. America. He’s cruel in the BEST way.
  • Childwife… meet Childsoldier. Ya’ll should make with the sex.
  • Hey! BlandMartha. Poison the Waterfords.
  • Mark it down. It’s the first time I have ever loved Luke. I may never again. Oh, and screw off, Nick.
  • Aunt Bitchbag loves the children. Doesn’t think much of women. But lerves her some berbers.
  • Diplomacy over, bitches. Serena’s face? I could bathe in her sadness and shame.
  • You had me until the God Bless America sing-a-long. Just… no. Stop it.
  • Look upon your closet of teal, and weep… thundercunt.
  • Poor Nick. Now you know June likes em tall, dark, and mildly Canadian.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E5 ” Seeds” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E5 ” Seeds” Hot Take Recap

Posted on by Marc Alan Fishman
  • So, our opportune question here: is June broken? Burning the letters of her sisters-in-arms sure as hell sells that. Oh, and her dead eyed stare into our soul helps too.
  • I’d love for this to be a long con. But I can’t fathom that as a possibility. Sayonara, Marc’s hope!
  • Haha! Offred is musty.
  • If I didn’t know better, I’d say Serena Joy doesn’t like lobotomized June. That pleases me. Hell. If she was mildly constipated I’d be tickled, too.
  • Forgive me. If you’re in the slave labor camp… why live?
  • If June/Offred has miscarried, I think I’m gonna scream.
  • Gilead looks like Oak Park, Illinois. The people who live there are likely 10% less scary.
  • Baby Angela has some boogies. Oh, and her real mom is gone. But you know. Boogies.
  • Back from commercial and Offred is in a blood red bath. I seriously can’t tell now if there IS a problem, or we’re being duped. That the loss of self is causing some kind of hallucination?
  • Gilead seriously has some kind of fascination with ritual schtick. And like, it’s never once been anything short of super creepy as fuck.
  • Wait. Hold up. Are they giving the drivers some child-brides? I think I may vomit.
  • Because I still feel sick after the last scene, just hearing all the pick axes and shovels of the workers makes me think of the beginning of “Blazing Saddles” and now I’m sadder.
  • FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY SEE A DOCTOR, JUNE. This show is basically a horror show in slow motion. “Here. Be terrified for 13 episodes.” “Will someone die?” “By the time we’re done, you’ll sure hope so.”
  • I’m rooting for the baby to somehow be alive, because I want to see June remain alive. I know she’s our protagonist and that it’s unlikely she’d be taken from us. But that doesn’t take away the feelings.
  • SWEET JESUS JUNE IS ALIVE. And so is her half-dead-faced fetus.