The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E10 “The Last Ceremony” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E10 “The Last Ceremony” Hot Take Recap

  • The title of the episode is “The Last Ceremony”. This bodes well.
  • Hey! A commander has a heart attack after rape. Praise be! Bonus points for the nut shot.
  • Childwife and ManbabySoldier are sure getting friendly.
  • “Oh, I’m so pleased to be stealing this child!” Go to hell Serena Joy.
  • Make way for Aunt BitchBag everyone!
  • Wowsers. A black commander. A black VIRILE commander. Gird your loins, men.
  • Whoa whoa whoa. Wait wait. The wives have their own fake-birth ceremony? This clinches it. When the season is over? I’m doing some fanfic crossovers where Jessica Jones lays waste to Gilead.
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. June 1. Serena 0.
  • Aunt Bitchbag’s spicy mango tea? I see Kermit sipping it already. Also, did June just mildly threaten Serena with an ass whoopin’? June 2. Serena 0.
  • Oh, June. You didn’t think he’d say yes, did you. But I appreciate the moxie. And I LOVE that on her way out she is burning every damned bridge she crosses. June 3. Waterfords 0.
  • Oh. This is. I can’t. I may stop the episode right now. The Waterfords are pure, unforgivable evil.
  • GASP! Childwife and ManBabySoldier! SHE’S UNCLEAN. And Nick likes to watch. Vurrrp.
  • Oh, poor Childwife. You know not what you say. I mean, you figured Nick like June. Good on you for that. But seriously. You’re 15. And this fucked up religious cult you are indoctrinated in has ruined your poor mind.
  • “Please stop crying.” Congrats Nick. NOW you’re a father.
  • PAUSE. Voldefred has a “surprise.” I swear to whatever God-Like-Being that is reading my recaps… If this asshat brings Hannah out as a present for raping a pregnant woman, I’m going to… OK, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ll be really sad.
  • Fuck the Waterfords. There’s no bounds to the cruelty of this show. “Why didn’t you try harder?”… Tear my god-damned spine out of my body.
  • Telling your own child to “Love your parents” when YOU CAN’T BE HER MOTHER is one of the most gut-wrenching things I’ve seen June endure. AND SHE WAS LITERALLY RAPED AN EVENING AGO. 
  • For fuck’s sake. Nick? SHOOT THE WATERFORDS.
  • Holy shit. Nevermind. Well, I don’t think I can breathe now.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E8 “Women’s Work” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E8 “Women’s Work” Hot Take Recap

  • The new normal disconcerts me heavily. Because this show has trained me to accept that anything that looks even CLOSE to normal, positive, or happy eventually leads to some awful comeuppance. So, night work with Serena Joy? I give it 3 more scenes before Lydia is giving June papercuts on her eyelids while the Cyclops Handmaid does a jig. Don’t like it? TOO BAD, SHOW. YOU DID THIS TO ME.
  • “I won’t forget this.” Riiiiight Serena. Does this mean you’ll let June see her daughter? FAT CHANCE.
  • Aww. Childbride made Voldefred a napkin. And as a topper? I think he’s kinky for June’s extra cushion for pushing. Vomit.
  • “Here. Let me regift you my music box to remind you that ultimately you’re my property.” Awww!
  • Poor Childwife. She doesn’t get that Nick is just a goth.
  • “You sound just like one of them.”… and THERE it is, kids. A fate worse than a taser to the tit.
  • Hooboy! Moral ambiguity?! Bend the law, you say?
  • The SNEER on that wife’s face when he one-handed hubby sided with Serena was AUDIBLE.
  • Oh, Aunt Bitchbag. Can there be a single episode without her?
  • SHE’S GOT A STETHOSCOPE! GET A GUN POINTED AT HER HEAD, STAT!
  • Meanwhile, in Sad Sack Manor… Voldefred goes on a panty raid? Vomit.
  • It’s like the baby… has lost… her will… to live. I just made a Star Wars Episode 3 reference. Now I feel sick.
  • This gimp-ass bearded impotent bastard is gonna whip his wife like a scolded child. How dare they make me feel bad for Serena. Who I need to remember not only helped launch Gilead… but knowingly choked June while pregnant. This has all better work out in the end… when Serena kicks Fred in the balls, literally to death. And then, downs a fistful of pills and vodka.
  • Childwife can’t be trusted.
  • You know what I just recognized? No real “poignant flashbacks” this episode. Funny, that.
  • I’m honestly amazed Fred didn’t just go ahead and play the Imperial March.
  • And June collapses on a compass. She doesn’t know what way to go. Touching.
  • So, a mother’s love brought a baby back from the brink of death. FUNNY, THAT. 
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E4 “Other Women” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E4 “Other Women” Hot Take Recap

  • Honestly have been dreading watching this all damn day. Even during the “Previously On” I can’t not scream into the void “WHY DID YOU RUN WITHOUT THINKING, JUNE!?” (I know she was, but, c’mon!)
  • Prized pigs. Trained rats. They don’t have complex feelings like you, dearie. Oh! It’s everyone’s favorite Bitchbag here with the best fashion from Milan.
  • I like the spunk, June. But, here I sit, and don’t see how she doesn’t just kill herself to spite the whole damn lot of them.
  • All I can do is think of ways for June to rebel. Poop on the floor is my leading desire at the moment.
  • FAKE NEWS!
  • “Praise be (we all know this ain’t your baby. This is Nick and my baby. So you’re not only rapists. You’re kidnappers!).”
  • For the love of all that is holy, Aunt Bitchbag, DROP THE ACT ALREADY!
  • Uhh. I don’t like even asking this… but, is Nick alive? Wait. Nevermind. One look on his useless dumb face and I’m once again through with him. Unless he straight up shoots everyone in the house, and then himself.
  • Oh. Yay! A complicit rapist baby shower book club. And we present you with an elephant! A symbol of the GOP who watches this show like porn.
  • Serena Joy is smoking while pregnant! IT’LL HURT THE BABY! Bitchbag gets 1 point.
  • Oh, hey. Arts and crafts time. This show sure loves its overly dramatic ceremonies. This is what happens when you don’t have TV, kids. On the plus side? Serena Joy is now symbolically tied to June. I hope she feels dirty.
  • And speaking of that. Let’s watch Mrs. Luke call June a whore in public. Fun times.
  • Serena has anger issues. Also? June is awesome. “Hey, teal-twat-rocket? I have a daughter, you barren ho.” #Savage
  • I quickly IMDB’d Fred Waterford because I literally kept thinking “He’s not Voldemort. I know that. But damn if he isn’t close.”
  • Aunt Lydia thinks she’s doing good. All villains do.
  • Offred needs to hurl Aunt Bitchbag into the river. There’s not a punishment mean enough for her.
  • 2 to 1 odds Serena is about to hobble June. Wait! No. False alarm. Just insane baby envy. Psychotic baby envy.
  • A sanded door jamb, and a final scene to twist the knife in her past. This feels like “The Empire Strikes Back”. Not in the “this was nuanced and amazing!” way, no. In that “there’s literally no hope left in my soul” way.
The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E3 “Baggage” Hot Take Recap

The Handmaid’s Tale: S2E3 “Baggage” Hot Take Recap

  • Episode 3. Here we go! June getting her fitness-montage on, eh. I’m fighting HARD to smile. Because this show has taught me that joy is temporary and should be stamped into oblivion.
  • Meanwhile in Canada, it’s America’s favorite ex-pat sitcom… Moira, Dweebus, and the Mute!
  • Young June at the rally/protest… Ahhh. There’s that gut-bomb of social-relevance that makes me think about Trump. So. Barf.
  • I just realized if Nick was played by Colin Hanks, I’d feel safer for June.
  • “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?”… Neither! I’m a sandwich! (Not a note. I just always wanted to work this into an article.)
  • If skittish black driver would just USE HIS WORDS to explain why he’s trying to abandon June, it’d sure help me understand wtf is going on.
  • 18 minutes in, and we’ve yet to see an actual Handmaid, Commander, Aunt Bitchbag, or anything cruel and evil (aside from “the world” of course). This is like a weird reverse bottle episode.
  • “Under his eye.” JUNE, WHY?! I mean, she can’t believe in that bullshit. Why SPOUT IT??!!
  • Listen, judgemental bitch. YOU try getting raped monthly under threat of death and harm to your actual child , and try being HOLIER THAN THOU.
  • OK, so we are in Gilead now? And I’m thinking maybe it’s Sunday? Church time? And now I’m thinking “Are Jews persecuted here?”. Sigh.
  • So. June’s mom is an unloved bitch. Cool, cool, cool.
  • They’re Muslim (I think)?
  • 34:20 in, and there’s my previous Bitchbag. And damn, I’d peg June’s mom as a suicide bomber against Gilead, not a field worker. Or did I just imagine seeing that.
  • OK. June. June? June. This is the kind of shit people yell at the movie screen for. DON’T DO THIS. Please! Also. Where the hell is dead-eyed Nick? I’m guessing Gilead ain’t got no phones, but still. Dude. Check on yo’ baby mama, right? JUNE STOP LOOKING AT THE GUARDS. JUNE.
  • June, seriously. If you don’t shut up, I’mma scream.
  • “She left me once, and now I have to leave her.” … I’m not sure who she’s referring to. Her mother? Hannah? Both?
  • Truly curious what June’s specific end-game is at this point. Make it to the border? Live in the wilderness?
  • We now bring you back to “Moira, Dweebus, and the Mute”… “Blessed be the Froot Loops?” SHE NAILED THE PUNCHLINE! Queue the title card and credits.
  • So… all the drivers are Eyes. And the Eyes are good? I STILL DO NOT TRUST THIS AT (the fuck) ALL. June, I give you permission to kick driver until he dead.
  • Oh, mom. You ain’t no Hollaback Girl. You a slave, now.
  • As much as I wanted to be like “I told you so…”… I can’t. Damn it all to hell.