Tag: Doctor Doom

Brainiac On Banjo: Another Brightest Day

Brainiac On Banjo: Another Brightest Day

You put your whole self in. You put your whole self out. You put your whole self in and you shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn around. That’s what it’s all about! From The Hokey Pokey, written by Charles P. Macak, Larry Laprise and Taft Baker.

Now that the first season of Lanterns is reaching end times, I think it’s time for me to put in my two cents on the most important controversy of the day, the “this is not MY Hal Jordan” issue.

First of all, to quote William Shatner’s most famous utterance, get a life. Your childhood remains unaltered. Nobody is shitting on those thrilling days of yesteryear you remember so vividly. Given that I’m not in a position to carbon date all the whiners, I am compelled to ask which Hal Jordan are you talking about? Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Another Brightest Day” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Gimme Them Ol’-Time War Comics

Brainiac On Banjo: Gimme Them Ol’-Time War Comics

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde.

Back in my First Comics days, I made the observation that the major difference between World War II and the Vietnam War was the Andrew Sisters. I was serious, and a surprisingly large number of people understood my reference. It’s much more easy to be culturally obscure these days.

For you young’uns out there, the Andrew Sisters were a trio of sisters — get it? — who were very patriotic and who sang pop-music-to-win-a-world-war-by. Probably their biggest hit at that time was “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” and, in my opinion, it remains quite good — catchy, amusing, patriotic, and life affirming. World War II was extremely popular as wars go, even among many of those drafted to fight in it. Capitalism being a thing, the song sold millions. The Sisters made eighteen movies; their first, Buck Privates, teamed them up with the great Shemp Howard as well as some other notable comedic performers.

Amusingly, their first big hit was 1937’s “Bei Mir Bist Du Schön”. According to iMDB, that song was a favorite of the Nazis until it was discovered that the song’s composers were Jewish. Art for art’s sake, as Oscar Wilde noted.

The Andrew Sisters lasted until 1967 and were still big when the Korean War started. However, times change. After World War II we were kinda sick of war, and we didn’t want our fathers and uncles and brothers to go back into bloody combat. The Andrews were still on the radio and were big in the new medium of television, but their public did not ask them to provide the same type of patriotic war support they had the previous decade… USO shows not withstanding.

These attitudes were mirrored in American comic books. During WWII, you couldn’t pick up a 10 cent fifty-two pager without all sorts of stories about how each Nazi and each Japanese soldier was a Doctor Doom-level threat. Of course you recall the cover of Captain America Comics #1, where the star-spangled-shield-slinger punched Adolf Hitler in the face. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Gimme Them Ol’-Time War Comics” →

Brainiac On Banjo: “I’m Not Dead Yet”

Brainiac On Banjo: “I’m Not Dead Yet”

“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked… who were burned alive in their innocent flannel suits on Madison Avenue amid blasts of leaden verse and the tanked-up clatter of the iron regiments of fashion and the nitroglycerine shrieks of the fairies of advertising & the mustard gas of sinister intelligent editors, or were run down by the drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality.” Excerpted from Howl, by Allen Ginsberg.

It appears Mad Magazine is not quite dead yet. Happily, it is showing some signs of regaining health.

Almost immediately after hiring a brilliant new editor, the corporate bean counters decided to pull the rug out from under this great American institution by moving to a virtual all-reprint policy. They still smuggle in a few new pages, and they commission new covers and print off some of their unpublished inventory. I wouldn’t be surprised if, when cleaning out their New York office they discovered an unopened closet containing upwards of a quarter million new Sergio Aragonés pieces. Mad Magazine has had nobody on the masthead listed as “editor” for years.

Lately, we’ve been seeing a minor uptick in the amount of new pages. I scope out Mad each issue because they pick some truly great stuff by their best talent, which is saying quite a lot. The current issue reprints work by Will Elder, Jack Davis, Don Martin, Dick DeBartolo, Mort Drucker, Angelo Torres, Al Jaffee, Harvey Kurtzman… you know, “the usual gang of idiots.”

Among the new material in this Frankenstein-themed issue is a full-color four-pager written and drawn by Desmond Devlin and Tom Richmond, who were Mad’s last long-lived parody team back in better times. They filled in whatever time they had producing an exceptionally worthy book called Claptrap, which featured parodies of classic movies done in the style that so many Mad imitators failed to match.

This story is called “The Horror of Quack-Enstein” and the villain in the piece is Robert F. Kennedy, The Sequel, the man so pathetically and aggressively stupid that in his short time in office he already is responsible for the deaths of thousands — soon millions — of people around the world, many in the United States of America. RFK2 is the man who answers the question “What if Doctor Doom were given massive power but no brains whatsoever?” This explains why the bastard collects road kill.

The story, which just as easily could have been titled “Just Desserts,” is Mad Magazine at its best — and that, my friends, is a very high bar.

With Warner Bros. and its DC Comics divisions ownership changing hands almost as frequently as President Trump changes his mind, I hesitate to predict Mad’s future. Clearly, its trademark maintains value, and it is part of America’s cultural terra firma, but, then again, so are The Lone Ranger and MGM. Paramount and its new far-right wing ownership are trying to buy the place, evidently to put CNN and Anderson Cooper in their place.

Mad Magazine came about during very, very dark times. The nation had lost its mind over a highly exaggerated, some might suggest trumped-up, threat of a communist takeover. The comic book haters had Fredric Wertham and his many, many fellow travelers stoking bonfires that burned so many great magazines these fools made pre-Code comics — such as EC, which gave us Mad — exceptionally valuable decades before slabbing turned the hobby into a joke.

All this led to an endless sea of go-for-the-throat comedic social commentary that Mad’s traditional teen audience gobbled up like a hound dog’s last meal. Mad preceded and influenced such social evils as Rocky and Bullwinkle, The Simpsons, Beavis and Butthead, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, South Park, Saturday Night Live, SCTV, Family Man… and Mad TV. If a magazine could be named in paternity suits, Mad would have had to hire a whole lot more lawyers.

I’m quite happy to see Mad take a shot at reviving their notoriety and bringing it into the 21st century. I’m quite familiar with the economics of magazine publishing — bottom line, there aren’t any — and I think the odds on returning to those same exact thrilling days of yesteryear are not in the cards. But we have other media that has served those needs, and Mad can be a valuable brand name in those arenas.

Assuming you think this internet thing is going to work.

Brainiac On Banjo: The Doctor Is Out

Brainiac On Banjo: The Doctor Is Out

“Ooh, ee, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang. Ooh, ee, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang” From The Witch Doctor, written by Ross Bagdasarian.

Remember Baskin-Robbins? Don’t think too hard; 2400 of them are still around these “United” States, somehow surviving the lack of business from this writer. Nothing personal; I just have’t been there since well before their corporate brothers, Dunkin’ Nothing, still had time to make the donuts.

In their 80 years of selling ice cream, Baskin-Robbins claims to have invented more than 1,000 new flavors. Back during my tenure as an overheated child seeking a fix, each month they would pick one of these new items as their “featured flavor of the month.”

I’ve long thought they should have come up with a flavor called “Sorcerer Supreme.” Today, in order to be on-model such a confection would have to contain vast quantities of pistachio, mint chocolate chip and lime sherbet.

In case you haven’t noticed, the Sorcerer Supreme used to be Doctor Stephen Strange. Recently, Doctor Victor Von Doom swiped that mantle, leaving Stephen with his old title — and old powers — from back in the Steve Ditko days when he wore a blue cape and had the “Master of Mystic Arts” pedigree on his Sanctum Sanctorum wall.

It’s a fairly big deal, and everybody in the Marvel Universe who isn’t on Victor’s payroll seems to be very pissed. I’m guessing they’re not pissed at Doctor Doom. They’re pissed at having been drafted into still another event (DC calls them “Crises” or, now, “Absolute Bullshit”) where the outcome is obvious. Of course, these days both Marvel and DC have several — many — such “events” going simultaneously so that they might entice their clientele to spend a couple hundred dollars more than we were planning to. I believe this is why why DC licensed The Riddler out to DraftKings.

So Doom gets the heavy cape and, after six uneventful months of preparation, pretty much takes over all the functions of running Planet Earth. He’s cleaning up everything, all the while telling us he’s the most benevolent dictator the world has ever known. Doom is coming off like a Comics Code approved version of Donald Trump’s favorite wet dreams, except Doctor Doom doesn’t rape anybody. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: The Doctor Is Out” →

Brainiac On Banjo: More Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind

Brainiac On Banjo: More Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind

“Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower. Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna. Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe!” From I Am The Walrus, written by John Lennon.

As the great Hedley Lamarr famously said, “My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.” It is under this premise I share these random errant thoughts.

The closer President Joe Biden comes to the end of his term, the more he looks like he was drawn by Will Elder.

I firmly believe DC’s latest sub-imprint launch is being co-funded by a major vodka company.

Will Robert Downey Jr. be cast as Dr. Thomas Wayne? Will we see him buying those damn pearls?

I think Agatha All Along is a great example of contemporary social satire. Sorry, incels. She still won’t sleep with you.

There’s a great job opportunity waiting for a person qualified to keep IDW’s revolving door well-oiled.

The current Ryan North run on The Fantastic Four is nothing short of brilliant. The stuff that should be there is there, hung on the strong framework of great human interest stories. I highly recommend it. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: More Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Quit Your Bitching!

Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Quit Your Bitching!

“Oh Ricky, what a pity, don’t you understand that every day’s a rerun and the laughter’s always canned.” — From Ricky, written by Weird Al Yankovic

I have no idea why they still call it “social media.” We all know there’s very little social about it.

In fact, if you had been raised on the planet Mars and you perfected your command of American English from, say, reruns of “I Love Lucy,” you would be likely to think of it as anti-social media. You might share this opinion all day until the time when your fingers dance over your keyboard and you, too, feel you’ve had enough of those other assholes.

Case in point: You may have heard about the big Marvel movie panel a couple days ago at the annual San Diego Comic Con clusterfuck, or “SDCCC” for short. Anyway, it was revealed — to the surprise of a very, very few — that Doctor Doom was going to be the big bad in the next two Avengers movies, the second coming out sometime after global warming melts down the 12 remaining movie projectors. So they had their big reveal and, to a fanfare that actually came within a mile of Donald Trump’s Don Kirshner-like unveiling at the RNC, out in full, jerry-rigged green robotic glory, came the actor signed for the role.

In case you were still watching I Love Lucy reruns on Mars and you had yet to be informed, that actor was Robert Downey Junior. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Quit Your Bitching!” →

Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Sure, It’s For The Children!

Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Sure, It’s For The Children!

Sex and drugs and rock and roll is all my brain and body need. Sex and drugs and rock and roll are very good indeed. “Sex and drugs and rock and roll,” written by Ian Dury and Chaz Janke.

Whenever somebody advocates for the restriction of personal freedoms in the name of the children — It’s for the children! — I utter “bullshit!” These self-righteous self-appointed snobs, elitists and holy-holies advocate against what they consider moral, according to their Dickensian upbringing and just how big and how wide that pole is that they keep up their own asses.

The latest is only the latest because of the proliferation legal establishments where normal humans can drown away their money without having to understand the nuances of decentralized cryptocurrency. According to The Guardian a couple days ago under the headline ‘We’re Killing the Youth of America’: Calls Grow For Crackdown on US Gambling, according to executive director of New Jersey’s Council on Compulsive Gambling Felicia Grondin, “There’s a lot of kids that are gambling.”

No shit, Sherlock.

And kids are speeding, drinking booze, shooting guns, and watching The Three Stooges. I’ll bet even Ms. Grondin did some of that before she was twenty-one. Or eighteen, as the case may be.

Personally, I do not possess the gambling gene. I have been to casinos exactly twice, and that was because each had a great barbecue restaurant. I won exactly enough to pay for dinner each time, and I haven’t been inside of one in nearly twenty years. I don’t have a dog in this race, except a lust to silence the Brain Police. Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo: Oh, Sure, It’s For The Children!” →

Everything We Read This Week – 2/5/2020

Everything We Read This Week – 2/5/2020

Welcome back to Everything We Read This Week. This is the place that we make our weekly trip through this week’s pull-list. It features mostly spoiler-free brief analysis and commentary of each book.

This week we read a so many great comics. All the books that we reviewed here are excellent. There was some amazing storytelling out there this week. We tackled multiple genres and each of these offerings were superb. We encourage you to go out and find the comics you like, and remember, Read More Comics!!

We reviewed books from DC Comics, Marvel Comics, Dark Horse Comics, Vault Comics, and Dynamite Entertainment this week. As always, we hope you might find what we say interesting enough to try some of these comics. Don’t forget we welcome comments on these and any other comics that you read. Feel free to leave a comment and get the conversation moving.

Also, Don’t forget to check our hotlist of new books debuting this month over here. We didn’t have any new series come out this week on our pull list, but next week will be a different story.

And here are the books we read in alphabetical order:

Continue reading “Everything We Read This Week – 2/5/2020” →

Everything We Read This Week – 12/4/2019

Everything We Read This Week – 12/4/2019

Welcome back to Everything We Read This Week. This is the place that we make our weekly trip through this week’s pull-list. It features mostly spoiler-free brief analysis and commentary of each book.

This week we read a bunch of great comics. There was some amazing storytelling out there this week. We encourage you to go out and find the comics you like, and remember, Read More Comics!!

We reviewed books from DC Comics, Marvel Comics, Dark Horse Comics, Archie Comics, Dynamite Entertainment, Humanoids, Inc. and Image Comics this week. As always, we hope you might find what we say interesting enough to try some of these comics. Don’t forget we welcome comments on these and any other comics that you read. Feel free to leave a comment and get the conversation moving.

Also, Don’t forget to check our hotlist of new books debuting this month over here. You will see books that we were looking forward to with the designation Hot #1 by them. There are a few of them out this week, and they are really good.

DISCLAIMER: 

There is a 4 star rating system. It is simple and not to be taken too seriously as everyone gets their own impressions of art. These ratings are just to give our readers an idea of what we thought of the book, and they will be on the generous side normally. So don’t expect to see a lot of 1 Stars. After all, it’s not often that you have a bad book on your pull-list.

The rating system is as follows:

Great

 Good

 OK

 Not Good

 

And here are the books we read in alphabetical order:

Continue reading “Everything We Read This Week – 12/4/2019” →

Everything We Read This Week – 11/06/2019

Everything We Read This Week – 11/06/2019

Welcome back to Everything We Read This Week. This is the place that we make our weekly trip through this week’s pull-list. It features mostly spoiler-free brief analysis and commentary of each book.

This week we read a bunch of great comics. There were a few books that dealt with either the approach or the results of a worldwide catastrophe. I think that says something about the state of group consciousness. It is one of the reasons that I love comic books and an expression of how comics are representative of the greater society. Go out and find the comics you like, and remember, Read More Comics!!

We reviewed books from DC, Marvel, Dark Horse Comics, Ahoy Comics, Abstract Studio, Berger Books, IDW Publishing, and Image Comics this week. As always, we hope you might find what we say interesting enough to try some of these comics. Don’t forget we welcome comments on these and any other comics that you read. Feel free to leave a comment and get the conversation moving.

Also, Don’t forget to check our hotlist of new books debuting this month over here. You will see books that we were looking forward to with the designation Hot #1 by them. There are a few of them out this week, and they are really good.

DISCLAIMER: 

There is a 4 star rating system. It is simple and not to be taken too seriously as everyone gets their own impressions of art. These ratings are just to give our readers an idea of what we thought of the book, and they will be on the generous side normally. So don’t expect to see a lot of 1 Stars. After all, it’s not often that you have a bad book on your pull-list.

The rating system is as follows:

Great

 Good

 OK

 Not Good

 

And here are the books we read in alphabetical order:

Continue reading “Everything We Read This Week – 11/06/2019” →