Tag: bobby lashley

“So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man” #059: How AEW has the WWE in a Rest Hold

“So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man” #059: How AEW has the WWE in a Rest Hold

It’s been a while since I’ve written to you, my adoring public. But rest assured, I’ve been knee deep in content saturation; trying to find a specific hook to yammer on about on my little home on the interwebs. Well, since it’s been long enough since my last wrestling run-down, I felt it was time to return to the squared circle and once again wax poetic on the virtues of Cody Rhodes and company. Let’s do the thing:

The win/loss record makes inconsequential matches actually matter

When AEW gets into their mid-card, their simple system of tracking wins and losses (and soft resetting at year end) means every match has a purpose. By telling us presently-not-on-the-top-five Jungle Boy is facing off with 5th ranked Superbad Kip Sabian, even without a lengthy backstory, the match suddenly matters. A win over Sabian might mean Jungle Boy gets on the ranking board. But if Kip nips Jungle Boy in the bud, he’ll hold more wins than #4 on the chart, and suddenly his stock is skyrocketing. This makes every match have ramifications. It forces us, the viewers, to think of the predetermined contests as holding a narrative built around the sport between the ropes. This suspension of belief is what pro-wrestling used to be rooted in. Continue reading ““So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man” #059: How AEW has the WWE in a Rest Hold”

The Smarky Six #002: Week of July 9th

The Smarky Six #002: Week of July 9th

“Extreme Rules” is tomorrow kiddos. And boy howdy am I excited! Actually? I’m not really. I’m not not excited. After a week of ups and downs (sorry, Simon at WhatCulture!), I wound up feeling like both RAW and Smackdown had one PPV quality match each on their cards, surround by “go home” chum. Let’s unpack the week with six observations I pulled out from Kane’s Pyro. Don’t worry, Daniel Bryan set them off for me.

Continue reading “The Smarky Six #002: Week of July 9th”

The Smarky Six #001: Week of July 2nd

The Smarky Six #001: Week of July 2nd

Oh, you didn’t know? Hello all my fellow smart marks. This here is the first in my new weekly series wherein I cover my Smarky Six of the week; six hard takes on this week in the WWE. Please denote, while I am a fan of all professional wrestling… honestly I only make time for Raw, Smackdown, and the PPV’s. I would love to do deep dives into 205 Live, NXT, New Japan, and all the indie stuff out there… But I’ll want your demand that I do it before I start investing my time, and limited energies. I mean, come on. I only have so much snark to smark about. Can you dig it, sucka?

 

As we make our way towards “Extreme Rules” here in the not-too-distant future, this week we saw several steps forward for a few decent storylines, as well as the all-too-usual steps backwards in other sagas. Let’s unpack this week in wrestling with my six snarky sentiments shouldered straight to the mat.

  1. Kevin Owens is being wasted, what a surprise!

On one hand, I shouldn’t complain; Kevin Owens was featured in multiple segments on Raw this week, and he (as always) nailed the comedy of the situation. On the other hand? I don’t particularly enjoy “the Prize Fighter” being reduced to a Port-O-Potty blue goo crash test dummy. It hardly even makes sense, from a story perspective. It’s clear as the shine on Bobby Lashley’s head that this is all a time waster while Brock Lesnar heards cattle in the mountains. The “Monster In The Bank” is literally just bullying someone because it makes him laugh. And because he’s over like rover (deservedly so!), the fans are eating this up. This all just leads me to the larger point: The Universal Title needs to be on RAW again. I have been nothing short of a Paul Heyman level apologist for Lesnar up through Mania. But at this point, sitting home for months on end does nothing for what should be a top prize of the company. And given that we saw both Braun and Samoa Joe eat clean losses to Lesnar? Any chance of Strowman stripping the Beast will barely come across as a monstrous victory. Way to shoot yourself in the foot, WWE. Oh, wasn’t this supposed to be about Kevin Owens? Meh. I’m sure he can listen to Shania Twain while I wrap this up. Next!

Continue reading “The Smarky Six #001: Week of July 2nd”