So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #036: Spoil the Spoilers

So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #036: Spoil the Spoilers

Teenage angst has paid off well,
Now I’m bored and old.
Self-appointed spoilers spoil
More than they have told.

If they gatekeep online now,
Plot-holes that they found?
All to piss off and to troll
And needlessly expound…

Bonus points if you get the reference. No Googlin’ either, kiddos.

It seems now that spoiler culture is abound throughout social media. With the Russo’s (of Endgame fame, don’t-cha-know) declaring specific rules as to their accepted window of spoilativity… my feeds have been choked to the nines with needless repetition and condemnation of those who seek to ruin the experience of a piece of pop culture by virtue of their ability to consume it first.

To be clear to all who I am friends with? Not a single soul said a serendipitous spoiler in any sense of the word for Endgame, Game of Thrones, or even The Price is Right. And trust me, I was on high alert. Continue reading “So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #036: Spoil the Spoilers”

Brainiac On Banjo #036: Women Unite — But In Mongolia, Hold The Soda!

Brainiac On Banjo #036: Women Unite — But In Mongolia, Hold The Soda!

Avengers: Endgame passed the $2,100,000,000 mark ten days after release, so in honor of that momentous event, here is a photo of my all-time favorite superhero team-up, even though it has yet to happen on-screen.

Now that the Avengers movies have made about as much money as your average Wall Street cocaine dealer, I think we can say the “women heroes don’t sell movies” bullshit is behind us. It’s time to do the A-Force movie.

Seriously. It’s well past time, but before this weekend the banks might not have financed such a film. I think an A-Force movie will inspire more young girls than a woman president, though that is not an either/or proposition. And the prospect of women getting their boyfriends to take them to a big super-hero movie epic is the very meaning of “turnabout is fair play.” Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo #036: Women Unite — But In Mongolia, Hold The Soda!”

Beat JENeration 33: Avengers: Endgame, Let’s Get Spoil-y

Beat JENeration 33: Avengers: Endgame, Let’s Get Spoil-y

As promised, I have a few thoughts.

Now, if this column’s title didn’t give you pause, let me reiterate that I’m not holding back. Onward ho to Spoiler City we go!

But also, c’mon, if you haven’t seen Avengers: Endgame by now, I have to wonder if you even care about spoilers.

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Continued After the Next Page #008: Happy Geek Day!!!

Continued After the Next Page #008: Happy Geek Day!!!

We are living in a golden age of fandom. Gone are the days of hiding your comic collection in the closet when school friends came over. The time when liking sci-fi books was cause for odd glances in the cafeteria is in the past. There are incredible things happening in the world today.

Let’s take for example the things we can point at that show the geek/nerd culture is popular in the mainstream;

Avengers

The best selling motion picture in the world is Avengers: Endgame. It is the epic conclusion to over ten years of movie storytelling. I was moved to tears of joy while watching it at the massive amount of comic book characters from my your being translated to the big screen. This move was highly anticipated and it shattered box office records left and right.

Continue reading “Continued After the Next Page #008: Happy Geek Day!!!”

With Further Ado #040: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Victory Lap or Too Much of a Fan?

With Further Ado #040: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Victory Lap or Too Much of a Fan?

It’s an amazing time to be a comic fan. The latest Marvel movie, Avengers: Endgame, shattered box office records, earning $350 million domestically and $1.2 billion worldwide…in the first weekend of release. Everybody’s happy: movie goers, theater owners, Disney stockholders.  There’s a heaping amount of fan validation packed into it all. This incredible box office debut, combined with positive reviews, afford longtime fans the opportunity to say to the world at large, “See? I told this stuff is great!” 

But a funny thing happened on the way to the victory lap.  Continue reading “With Further Ado #040: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Victory Lap or Too Much of a Fan?”

The Horrifying Implications of Avengers: Endgame’s Ending  (that you probably didn’t think about until just now)

The Horrifying Implications of Avengers: Endgame’s Ending (that you probably didn’t think about until just now)

This weekend, everyone is going to see Avengers: Endgame. That’s appropriate. It’s a great film, tons of fun, and an excellent capstone to the past eleven years of Marvel films. You should definitely go see it. In fact, go see it right now.

 

Welcome back. Did you enjoy the popcorn? Ok, now that we’re all on the same page, I’d like to address one big issue with the end of Endgame and the terrifying implications it leaves behind.

Spoilers ahead.  Continue reading “The Horrifying Implications of Avengers: Endgame’s Ending (that you probably didn’t think about until just now)”

Beat JENeration #032: Avengers: Endgame (No Spoilers)

Beat JENeration #032: Avengers: Endgame (No Spoilers)

Well, shit.

Um.

It’s currently 11:42pm Thursday night, PDT and I know the internet is full of all kinds of spoilers (because I already looked up some pressing issues), but it doesn’t feel right to say anything yet.

Even though I haven’t seen a theatre that crowded ever. Well, maybe in the 1980’s, on a holiday weekend. It was crazy. And I loved every second of it.

I think it’s safe to also note that I got a bucket of popcorn and a large drink and didn’t finish either for the first time in I can’t even tell you. I just got too caught up in the movie. That probably has never happened before.

I liked it very much. I will see it again tomorrow. Probably also another time within the next week.

It just doesn’t feel right to say anything else. Except maybe that I wish for you all to see it spoiler free.  Continue reading “Beat JENeration #032: Avengers: Endgame (No Spoilers)”

Brainiac On Banjo #025: Is It Over Yet? By Mike Gold

Brainiac On Banjo #025: Is It Over Yet? By Mike Gold

I see The CW picked up all its comic book-based teevee shows for their 2019 – 2020 season, and they’re shooting the pilot for their new Batwoman series. This means we’ll be watching them on broadcast channels at least until the next presidential debates.

That’s amusing. The CW’s DC’s Legends of Tomorrow has yet to air its 2018 – 2019 season. Then again, ABC renewed Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for 2019 – 2020 season without having broadcast this year’s output either. In business terms, those are genuine acts of faith.

Captain Marvel opens in a theater near you in one short month. Yes, this is February and this is a short month. The Brie Larson flick already has broken all advance ticket sales records. Shazam! opens one month later, followed by Hellboy one week after that. The Avengers: Endgame starts pushing popcorn three weeks after that, X-Men Dark Phoenix follows a month after that, Spider-Man Far From Home a couple weeks after, the New Mutants opens the beginning of August (assuming they ever finish the reshoots), and The Joker comes forth Bat-less the beginning of October. 2020’s schedule appears to be just as overloaded. As Lenny Kravitz sang, it ain’t over till it’s over.

Why is this still happening? Shouldn’t it be over by now?  Continue reading “Brainiac On Banjo #025: Is It Over Yet? By Mike Gold”

So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #018:  The Fallacy of the Gig Economy

So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #018: The Fallacy of the Gig Economy

Welcome back to my little corner of the internet, kiddos. It’s been a while, I know… but to be fair: my editor told me to watch and annotate The Handmaid’s Tale, and frankly it caused me to be a moapy-weepy-sad-cis-mess. But, I shook off the cobwebs to see what’s been grinding my gears lately concerning pop-culture.

And frankly? I got nothing.

I thought about writing an entire article about micro-transactions and DLC for video games — and why I find it to be the most despicable trend in the known universe. But frankly, I get it. If they had sold extra characters for WWF Royal Rumble for my Super Nintendo, I’d have smashed my bank into little kosher piggie bits for the chance to add Duke the Dumpster Droese to my roster. And while I’d love to say I’ve never been tempted by the siren song of an extra five moves in Candy Crush… well, I’d have to be as honest as our current Cheeto-In-Chief in my denial. Moving on.

I then gave some thought about what else I’ve been consumed by lately in the Pop Culture Proscenium. I’m really enjoying The Kominsky Method on Netflix… but c’mon. It’s a show where old white dudes cuss, talk about their dicks, and Lisa Edelstein acts drunk. For that I should waste 1000 words? Feh! And when I’m not making my way through that? I’m literally on my 27th run-through of the entirety of Scrubs. And frankly, you don’t want me to write the 10,000 word screed in my heart as to why that show is the single greatest sitcom of the last 30 years. Fight me.  Continue reading “So Long and Thanks for the Fish, Man #018: The Fallacy of the Gig Economy”