“Ooh, ee, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang. Ooh, ee, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang” From The Witch Doctor, written by Ross Bagdasarian.

Remember Baskin-Robbins? Don’t think too hard; 2400 of them are still around these “United” States, somehow surviving the lack of business from this writer. Nothing personal; I just have’t been there since well before their corporate brothers, Dunkin’ Nothing, still had time to make the donuts.

In their 80 years of selling ice cream, Baskin-Robbins claims to have invented more than 1,000 new flavors. Back during my tenure as an overheated child seeking a fix, each month they would pick one of these new items as their “featured flavor of the month.”

I’ve long thought they should have come up with a flavor called “Sorcerer Supreme.” Today, in order to be on-model such a confection would have to contain vast quantities of pistachio, mint chocolate chip and lime sherbet.

In case you haven’t noticed, the Sorcerer Supreme used to be Doctor Stephen Strange. Recently, Doctor Victor Von Doom swiped that mantle, leaving Stephen with his old title — and old powers — from back in the Steve Ditko days when he wore a blue cape and had the “Master of Mystic Arts” pedigree on his Sanctum Sanctorum wall.

It’s a fairly big deal, and everybody in the Marvel Universe who isn’t on Victor’s payroll seems to be very pissed. I’m guessing they’re not pissed at Doctor Doom. They’re pissed at having been drafted into still another event (DC calls them “Crises” or, now, “Absolute Bullshit”) where the outcome is obvious. Of course, these days both Marvel and DC have several — many — such “events” going simultaneously so that they might entice their clientele to spend a couple hundred dollars more than we were planning to. I believe this is why why DC licensed The Riddler out to DraftKings.

So Doom gets the heavy cape and, after six uneventful months of preparation, pretty much takes over all the functions of running Planet Earth. He’s cleaning up everything, all the while telling us he’s the most benevolent dictator the world has ever known. Doom is coming off like a Comics Code approved version of Donald Trump’s favorite wet dreams, except Doctor Doom doesn’t rape anybody.

As a matter of fact, Vic seems to be doing a great job — at first. Cue the “scorpion and the frog” tale.

Doctor Doom does all the stuff Donald Trump sort of said he’d do but abandoned the minute he handed the keys over to Real President Musk. The superhero community, flush with memories of 63 years of attempted conquest, evil and terror, remains skeptical. Generally, this is where the Kree or the Skrulls and/or Paste Pot Pete wander in and upset the crabapple cart.

This event is called One World Under Doom. Unless you’ve never read a modern superhero story before you know Pax Doom is doomed. Otherwise, how is Robert Downey Junior going to convince us he’s now a really bad guy?

This storyline has started out strong. The mini-series, which of course ties into all things Marvel without a lot of X’s in it, is written by Ryan North, the guy who has done wonders with Marvel’s flagship title (Fantastic Four) these past twenty-nine issues. I have every reason to expect the main storyline to excel.

Besides, the Doom tyrannosaurus is on board. Hey, it worked for South Park!

Real President Musk recently compared what’s happening in the real world these days is comparable to the post-apocalyptic world of Judge Dredd. I can’t help but wonder — is Elon a Marvel fan?

I hope not. It is so much easier to trust Doctor Doom.