Brainiac On Banjo: The Real Clown Prince of Crime!

Why do you want him? Why do you want him? Why do you want him? Why do you want him? — “Why Do You Want Him?,” written by Billie Joe Armstrong, John Kiffmeyer, and Mike Dirnt.

No doubt you’ve heard about this “internet” thing. It’s a place where we all go to show everybody else just how clever we are. For example, I’m doing that right now.

My guess is you have seen the Trump “Batman Villain” memes that have popped up all over the internet within minutes of the former Bastard-In-Chief getting fingerprinted and mug-shotted in a toilet of a Georgia jail a couple days ago. I understand the shock of this killed Harley Quinn, and that really sucks. But it’s understandable.

Legendary writer Mindy Newell and I got into a conversation about all this, and I took the position that The Joker is a better person than Trump and, for that matter, The Joker wears less makeup. Somehow that discussion boiled down to the best Trump meme would have him look like Davros, the classic Doctor Who villain who created the Daleks — and, to make a long story short, became one. I think he went to the Stanislavsky School of Villainy.

Be that as it may, the true winner of this debate is the rock group Green Day. They created, according to their Instagram post,

“the ultimate Nimrod shirt is available for 72 hours only. Limited edition shirt proceeds will be donated to T̶h̶e̶ ̶G̶i̶u̶l̶i̶a̶n̶i̶ ̶L̶e̶g̶a̶l̶ ̶D̶e̶f̶e̶n̶s̶e̶ ̶F̶u̶n̶d̶ @greatergoodmusiccharity, which brings food to those affected by the Maui wildfires.”

That meets my definition of humanity’s greatest ability, the know-how to be given shit and to turn it into a shit soufflé.

It’s hard to imagine anything good coming out of anything with that treasonous bastard’s name on it, but Green Day completely nailed it. I must point out that the 72-hour funder may have ended by the time you read this, but donating to any of the worthwhile Maui charities is a great thing and if you’ve got a few bucks you might want to make a contribution anyway.

Then again, if your sense of irony is as strong as your desire to make that shit soufflé, perhaps you can send some cash over to Planned Parenthood. Maybe you can make your contribution out in the name of Marjorie Taylor Greene. I know I will.

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If you happen to be one of those really bored people with nothing better to do than memorize every word of these columns of mine (and maybe someday you’ll get a t-shirt for that), you probably recall my ongoing enthusiasm for the Baltimore Comic-Con. Well, it’s a little early this year — September 8th through 10th at the Baltimore Convention Center, which is located in Baltimore, of all places. Near the ballpark.

The good folks at BCC have invited me back which, to be fair, they did during Covid as well. In fact, I got my second booster vaccine going into that show a couple years ago, and that was the best perk I’ve ever received at a comics convention. Pop Culture Squad’s very own Bob Harrison will be there as well, and Bob will be hosting a number of panels. I know this because I’ll be on at least two of them, maybe more if I get real pushy.

One of those panels, as well as the BCC 2023 Yearbook, will be in tribute to the 40th anniversary of First Comics. It will be something like our 30th anniversary tribute, but ten years later. Come see how we’ve aged.

In this case, “we” will be Howard Chaykin, Mike Grell, Mark Wheatley, Marc Hempel, Joe Staton, Steve Rude, and myself… plus maybe others who can dotter up to the dais. And hopefully Tom Mandrake, who remains too young and too fit to dotter. Perhaps we can get John Workman to participate; in that way, people will be able to actually read what we’re saying.

Perhaps we can inspire Chaykin to explain why Dean Haspiel is at this show. That’ll be great fun.

Check it all out at Drop by my table and I’ll introduce you to Bob. Tell ‘em Groucho sent you — but only if you’ve driven there in your DeSoto.