Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mind #082: Rule Forty-Two!

At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!’ and read out from his book, `Rule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.’ / Everybody looked at Alice. / `I’m not a mile high,’ said Alice. / `You are,’ said the King. / `Nearly two miles high,’ added the Queen. / `Well, I shan’t go, at any rate,’ said Alice: `besides, that’s not a regular rule: you invented it just now.!” – Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

If you’ve read Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, which I highly recommend, your take-away might have been “hot damn, that place is a real downer.”

Well, then. Welcome to Wonderland.

Drink me.

Every press conference held by America’s greatest unarmed bigot is little more than contradictions and obvious lies. Many are doing what we’re supposed to do, which is easier for those of us who have long thought social distancing is a swell idea. It sucks if you’re in a Red State where they are getting much of what they need to save lives, but it really sucks if you’re in a Blue State. You’re getting maybe 5% of what you need to protect citizens, first responders, doctors, nurses, the people who clean up the infected shit in the hospitals, the people who deliver the mail and packages and take-out food and work in the supermarkets, etc. etc. etc. You know, the people who are saving lives. Oh, and some of that stuff you’ve received is well past its “best-use” date.

Our President, the biggest son-of-a-bitch in our 244-year history and a meat-bag who is as pompous and egotistical as he is incompetent and purposely stupid… he wouldn’t be playing life-and-death games with those who think he isn’t the very personification of the Second Coming, would he? Look at those medical ships that finally arrived on the coasts of the two largest Blue States, California and New York!

Yeah. Right. Well, look a bit harder. Just try and find a Covid-19 victim on those ships. The Republican fantasy goes like this: the feds will take a few of those who are not Covid victims so that bed space can be freed up in the field hospitals built where kids used to play sports and businesses used to have conventions and arenas where we used to be entertained. “Let those who do not worship me catch the plague from the dearly diseased,” sayeth the Orange King.

It’s up to others to respond “Off with his head,” but we’re kept busy trying to feed our heads… and wiping our asses. Well, at least every time I wipe my ass, I think of Donald J. Trump, the lying, incompetent megalomaniac who, in comparison, makes King George III seem like the sanest world leader in history.

Will there be a reckoning after all this is over? I know it’s rude to answer a question with a question, but it’s my question so I shall do just that.

Do you remember the reckoning after the Republicans tanked the economy in 2008? How about the one after the Savings-and-Loan crisis? After Tea-Pot Dome? Hell, the Republican president didn’t get impeached for that one, and he didn’t get impeached for screwing his mistress in the Oval Office either.

That’s three questions; here’s a fourth. How long can you hold your breath?

If you’re holding your breath for a punishment that fits the crime from the Democrats, you’ll physically turn blue long before justice is served. However, if the Electoral College can’t agree on a winner by 12 noon this coming January 20th, then – get this – Nancy Pelosi automatically becomes our acting president. That’s what the Constitution says. And then Ms. Pelosi could order our military to go to the White House, and forcibly remove this crawling piece of orange shit. If necessary, at the point of a bayonet.

Yeah. If that happens, I just hope that first somebody from the office of the Real President calls TMZ.

“`Who cares for you?’ said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) `You’re nothing but a pack of cards!’” – Ibid.

The writer would like to thank Charles Dodgson, John Tenniel, Arthur Rackham, W. S. Gilbert, Arthur Sullivan, and Grace Slick for their contributions to today’s Weird Scenes.