Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #039: The Clock Strikes Thirteen

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”

That is the first line of George Orwell’s 1984, and I suspect those who are likely to disagree with me already are rolling their eyes. I should warn those readers this column is not likely to get better for them.

I think about this classic novel of warning quite a bit these days. Damn near every word that comes out of the mouths of Trump, Huckabee-Sanders, Barr and their fellow travelers is a lie. If I’m not certain it’s the truth, there is no reason whatsoever for me to think it might possibly be the truth. These are people with reality testings lower than a zombie’s IQ.

But they’re doing their job. The approximately one-third of the voting population – you know, morons – lap these lies up and they adjust their thinking and their language accordingly. They have no idea that many of the views they espouse are in complete contradiction to the language they use to describe them.

For example, take the so-called “pro-life” movement. Pro-life, to those who understand the American language, means you are in favor of people living. So it would logically follow these pro-lifers would be opposed to the death penalty, to health care being priced so high only the wealthy and the lucky can afford it, to pumping all those killer toxins into our air and our water, to global warming, to police randomly killing unarmed black people, to murderers such as Vlad Putin and Kim Jong-un and their enablers such as Donald Trump… you get the point. That’s just the short list.

It is clear that all too many “pro-lifers” are in favor of most or all the items noted above. So how can they possibly be pro life? To further their lies and delusions, after the Row v Wade decision they promoted fetuses to “babies.” They moved the goal posts of birth back to conception. To these people, as Michael Palin and Terry Jones wrote, birth starts the moment daddy came. Every sperm is sacred.

But fetuses are fetuses and not babies at all. Fetuses aren’t babies until they successfully leave their birthing chamber –– at which point these self-righteous “pro-lifers” wash their hands of all responsibility. They protect lives only when they are in utero; after that, if the parents can’t afford adequate medical care or private education or clean water or clean air or a preposterous supply of guns, these holy-holy hypocrites could not care less.

They point to their religious “values” as if that should carry any weight whatsoever. This is not so. Their values of faith end where the next person’s religious values begin. That, folks, is called freedom of religion… unless you think the people who wrote, approved and enabled the U.S. Constitution were complete idiots. Simple mathematics shows us that “pro-life” is synonymous with bigotry.

So now these bigots have passed, or in some cases are about to pass, laws that imprison medical professionals who cross their anti-life pro-life agenda. They are outlawing abortions that aren’t performed within eight weeks of conception – which mean they are now promoting zygotes to babyhood as well. There are bills being introduced in state legislatures that will demand the death penalty for women who choose to have an abortion. And they are taking that last step: whittling away access to birth control that prevent creating zygotes in the first place. I guess that means that men who aren’t constantly jacking off into women are murderers as well. When these disgusting, evil hypocrites have their way, condoms and pills and all the stuff that people chose to deploy will be illegal.

It already is so for the folks who can’t afford it.

You may have noted boner pills remain legal. They are the very definition of pro-life. Hey, before we stick the needle in the arm of strapped down convicts, perhaps we should give condemned a Viagra pill. That will formally make murder pro-life.

Of course, that won’t happen. Bigots have no sense of irony.

Or decency.