You might think that headline up there is an exaggeration, maybe even a gross exaggeration. And it is. Absolutely. This asshole only wants to kill your murder if she didn’t vote for him.

Fair is fair, or for you objectivists out there, A is A. I could have suggested other headlines: “This Asshole Thinks You’re An Idiot,” or maybe “This Asshole Thinks You Need A Healthy Diet – HIS!” Or perhaps “This Asshole Wants You To Avoid The Rush and Kill Yourself Right Now.”

Do you feel a certain sense of urgency here? This is the man whose reality testing is so low he can’t even spell solipsism. To be more specific, and I’m not making this up, our Asshole-In-Chief is a philosophical zombie. Yup, that is a thing. Check out the work of contemporary philosophers such as Robert Kirk, Karlyn Campbell, or David Chalmers. 14 years-ago Kirk rethought his position and stated such philosophical zombies are impossible. He continued to stand by his self-refutation in 2017 when he published Robots, Zombies and Us ­– which strongly indicates Wi-Fi reception at his Nottingham University must really suck.

(Yeah, I dig philosophers. They’ve dedicated their lives to trying to answer the question “How many meth heads can dance on a pin.”) 

Getting back to the Asshole Of Air Force One, on the off-chance you’ve been plugged into Nottingham University’s Wi-Fi I’ll provide the necessary tie-in. A couple days ago, President SloDeth said he was not going to reveal the Republican Party’s plans for replacing the Affordable Care Act (a.k.a. ACA, a.k.a. Obamacare; say it loud, say it proud!) until after the 2020 election, and then only if he wins, and then only if his party of pasty old white men “take back” the House of Representatives and hold on to the Senate. And if apple pies fall from the sky.

The problem is, according to the Mommy-Murderer-In-Chief’s own puppet Attorney General, their challenge to the ACA presently is before the court and, if they succeed, over 20,000,000 Americans will be without health coverage. But if those unfortunates can find a cryogenics experiment that’s looking for volunteers, maybe they’ll survive until that fateful day the Republican Party comes up with the latter part of “repeal and replace.”

After all, they’ve been promising it for nine years now. The fool who thinks orange-is-the-new-Muhammad-Ali promised to deliver that one immediately after his inauguration but, to be fair, it’s taken him over two years of fighting the crowds at that coronation to get to his desk. So if the Republicans actually accomplish that which they’ve been promising for nine years but have never come remotely close to doing – providing a health care plan that is cheaper and better than the ACA that covers pre-existing conditions (such as pregnancy, and I am not kidding) and allows people to keep their present doctors – this would only happen after those 20,000,000+ Americans actually lost what coverage they have.

Which is the crux of the Republican biscuit: their health care plan is based upon millions and millions of Americans dropping dead before their plan kicks in.

And if you think that the Republicans will come up with this better plan within anybody’s lifetime, then you have just proven the reality of philosophical zombies.

It just so happens that I’ve got a solution to the “Health-For-The-Rich” problem. Pass a law that forces the President, his cabinet, his reelection committee, and his family off their present, blue-ribbon taxpayer-funded healthcare. If we can do that right now, we won’t have to care about x-raying through the Mueller Report redactions. The Trumpsters will have moved to just about any other industrialized nation, as most of them provide better healthcare for their citizens than the average American can afford to get over here.

I suspect his best bet would be to move to Russia.