Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #022:  And Trump Can Fart Rainbows Too!

It appears the reason behind His Petulance’s capitulation last weekend that ended the Trump-O’Connell government shutdown, perhaps temporarily, was not the devastating report from the Air Traffic Controllers Association telling the world that the longer the shutdown lasts, the more likely it is that there will be a major air catastrophe… and nobody could predict when that might happen., but it could happen at any time.

Nope. It was the ever-increasing possibility that there will be a major air catastrophe during Super Bowl weekend, which pretty much started a couple days ago. As they say in the business, that would make for real bad optics. And, also, a lot of dead bodies. Possibly dead bodies of extremely wealthy, tax-break-giddy Republicans. As nobody knows better than a hustler who is maxed-out with his mark, that could be bad for Trump’s business.

Not to mention Putin’s.

Of course, you wouldn’t know that from listening to King Donald the Last. On any given day our grifter-in-chief generates more spin than a Maytag repairman’s wet dream. About one-third of the electorate, give or take and depending upon the position of the moon, believes everything this lying asshole has to say. If President Second Coming says he can fart rainbows, these people – with whom we share the planet – will tell their children that Donald Second Coming can fart rainbows. 

As will Fox News… but once again Chris Wallace will try to prove he is not a shill for the Orange Skull.

“Mr. President,” Chris will ask. “This week you announced you could fart rainbows. But Speaker Pelosi said you kidnap baby Latino unicorns and make them stand behind you and fart. What is your response to her?”

Citizen Know Nothing, of the Know-Nothing Party

“Chris, you know, Nancy – and what kind of name is “Nancy?” – is the head of the radical Demoncrat mob who wants to throw our borders wide open to deadly drugs and ruthless gangs and give illegal immigrants the right to vote. It’s sad. Very sad. She doesn’t even know what she’s saying. Nancy gets in front of her radical Demoncrat supporters and reads off of a sign, a person holding a sign who gets paid by Soros or somebody, right? That’s what happens.

“As you know, Chris, I fart the best rainbows. Everybody says that. Nobody farts better rainbows than I do. I’m the best rainbow farter since Lincoln, and some say – not me, but lots and lots of people – that my rainbow farts are even better than Lincoln’s. We like the – we like the – it’s just a flowing. They do comma. They don’t do – they do a comma.”

And the Deplorables who helped Vlad put this bastard in office, the ones who want the government to keep its hands off of their Medicare, the ones who think the socialist hordes who have walked two thousand miles to lawfully seek asylum are really coming here to rape your daughters, to plunder our healthcare system, to live the High Life on welfare, to force all Americans to speak Spanish, and to murder Trump’s miniature unicorns… these fine Know-Nothings are just sucking those farts right up.

Hopefully, that oddly-named Nancy will help return those kidnapped baby unicorns before they fart themselves to death.