Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #020: Yeah. Just Another Brick, by Mike Gold

Tuesday night His Petulance delivered an over-rehearsed message to America about the need to build his wall. This time it’s not only to halt the terrorists that haven’t been coming in on foot over the border, it’s also to halt the heroin traffic that the refugees haven’t been bringing into the United States.

For his effort, according to The Hollywood Reporter, he received a 28.1 household rating. This was according to the overnight numbers generated by ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CNN and Fox News – but not MSNBC. Conventional wisdom has it that MSNBC isn’t His Petulance’s best audience anyway.

His lies immediately were followed by a response from Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Chuck Schumer. Broadcast-wise, neither would have done well in the Kennedy-Nixon Debate. Both looked very, very tired, as if to say “Crap, we’ve still got to be polite?”

Nonetheless, the Democratic Party rebuttal outperformed His Petulance, receiving a 29.3 overnight rating from these same venues. And conventional wisdom has it the uncounted MSNBC audience is more likely to be sympathetic to the Pelosi-Schumer less-than-Dynamic Duo.

Jeez. How many popular votes can the Donald lose before he realizes on his best day he’s an also-ran? 

Okay. That was a trick question. The answer is “all of them.”

Meanwhile, the Junior Donald reached to social media to compare these immigrants to caged zoo animals. “You know why you can enjoy a day at the zoo? Because walls work,” the Junior Donald proclaimed. This stunning bit of wisdom was taken down later. I don’t understand why he bothered: Donald II has as much of a chance at impressing his father as Donald I has of impressing his father.

Yesterday it was business as usual for His Petulance, who channeled his ham-handed after-sex glow into a threat to cut off federal emergency aid to California for forest fires because they wouldn’t need the money if the forests (which, by the way, are under federal control) were properly managed. “Unless they get their act together, which is unlikely, I have ordered FEMA to send no more money,” His Petulance barked.

As usual, our astonishingly and willfully ignorant Mortimer-Snerd-In-Chief’s claim that he has the authority to make such an imbecilic move is highly debatable. However, closing those recovery centers – the ones that serve Americans and not asylum seekers – would make for stunning visuals that will come in quite handy in the 2020 elections… for the Democratic Party.

Meanwhile, school children in need of a meal due to His Petulance’s government shutdown might not get those meals any longer. School systems are under severe pressure to end such activities. Hey, if you can’t fuck ‘em, starve ‘em. These kids are screwed either way.

Yesterday, President Nincompoop reiterated his right to declare a national emergency and divert military funding to the building of his Wall. “My threshold will be if I can’t make a deal with people that are unreasonable.” Then he attended a meeting with Schumer and Pelosi to negotiate but, according to Schumer, “He asked Speaker Pelosi, ‘Will you agree to my wall?’ She said ‘No.’ And he just got up and said, ‘Then we have nothing to discuss.’ and he just walked out.”

The self-proclaimed world’s greatest dealmaker spells “negotiation” c-a-p-i-t-u-l-a-t-i-o-n.

We are stuck in the Trumpian version of Groundhog Day. To paraphrase Kay Kyser, “praise the lord and pass the popcorn.”