Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mind #017: Auld Lang Syne and The Draught of Good Will

I really didn’t want to do another Trump column. Honest. I mean, by now everybody knows what he is – please feel free to hum along to the theme to “The Emperor’s New Clothes” – and what you see is what you get. It’s up to you to decide the worthiness of his junk.

Assuming you can find it.

But this is Thursday, December 27th. The last Weird Scenes of the year. Seeing as how this is supposed to be a politically-themed column, we are reminded there was only one story in 2018. Oh, there was a lot of news, but no one has so completely dominated the national discourse more than our Petulance-In-Chief. Ever. Not even Hitler, despite Mel Brooks’ best efforts. Compared to the Donald, the Adolf was an also-ran.

This makes His Petulance seem all the more goofy. His constant support from and of the greater definition of the American Nazi party lessens him.

But we’re on the dawn of a new era. One week from today, the opposition party takes command of the House of Representatives and – if you’re into irony, this is a humdinger – Nancy Pelosi takes over from The Invisible Man as leader. Heh heh heh. She’ll drive His Petulance crazy. She’ll drive his supporters, the unaroused rabble, out of their minds. Being a Trump supporter requires you to murder your sense of irony: when the Idiot Right starts screaming about how it’s the Democratic Party that is holding up legislation, these fools just won’t get it.

That’s so adorable. 

It’s time for the madness to end. Sure, Mike Pence is a bigoted piece of shit who may be more dangerous than Trump because he’s been around the block a few times. A whole lotta Republicans think two more years of His Petulance would be better than the Clown from the Popcorn State… and they might be right. But the orange vole who got the Russians to make him The Man Who Won’t Be King… he’s got to go. It’s either him or our sanity.

Besides, I’m dying to see Pence at a summit meeting sitting between British Prime Minister Theresa May and German Chancellor Angela Merkel – and time might be running out for either or both. It’ll be fun to see Mikey sweat.

And, with luck, we’ll be entertained by the cut of the new Emperor’s New Clothes.

So as we enter the new year, sit back, say a prayer for the health of Ruth Bader Ginsburg (it’s the Christian thing to do!) and the success of Robert Mueller and Geoffrey Berman (google him – His Petulance’s fate rests in his hands), fire up your vape pen and watch the greatest meltdown since Chernobyl.

Happy New Year, indeed!

One thought on “Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mind #017: Auld Lang Syne and The Draught of Good Will

  1. Glad to see this column back! And, as usual, I agree with every word. I really don’t understand at this point how anyone with any intelligence can support Trump, unless it’s a fear of admitting you made a mistake (like he has) or that you can be made a mark.