- The title of the episode is “The Last Ceremony”. This bodes well.
- Hey! A commander has a heart attack after rape. Praise be! Bonus points for the nut shot.
- Childwife and ManbabySoldier are sure getting friendly.
- “Oh, I’m so pleased to be stealing this child!” Go to hell Serena Joy.
- Make way for Aunt BitchBag everyone!
- Wowsers. A black commander. A black VIRILE commander. Gird your loins, men.
- Whoa whoa whoa. Wait wait. The wives have their own fake-birth ceremony? This clinches it. When the season is over? I’m doing some fanfic crossovers where Jessica Jones lays waste to Gilead.
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. June 1. Serena 0.
- Aunt Bitchbag’s spicy mango tea? I see Kermit sipping it already. Also, did June just mildly threaten Serena with an ass whoopin’? June 2. Serena 0.
- Oh, June. You didn’t think he’d say yes, did you. But I appreciate the moxie. And I LOVE that on her way out she is burning every damned bridge she crosses. June 3. Waterfords 0.
- Oh. This is. I can’t. I may stop the episode right now. The Waterfords are pure, unforgivable evil.
- GASP! Childwife and ManBabySoldier! SHE’S UNCLEAN. And Nick likes to watch. Vurrrp.
- Oh, poor Childwife. You know not what you say. I mean, you figured Nick like June. Good on you for that. But seriously. You’re 15. And this fucked up religious cult you are indoctrinated in has ruined your poor mind.
- “Please stop crying.” Congrats Nick. NOW you’re a father.
- PAUSE. Voldefred has a “surprise.” I swear to whatever God-Like-Being that is reading my recaps… If this asshat brings Hannah out as a present for raping a pregnant woman, I’m going to… OK, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ll be really sad.
- Fuck the Waterfords. There’s no bounds to the cruelty of this show. “Why didn’t you try harder?”… Tear my god-damned spine out of my body.
- Telling your own child to “Love your parents” when YOU CAN’T BE HER MOTHER is one of the most gut-wrenching things I’ve seen June endure. AND SHE WAS LITERALLY RAPED AN EVENING AGO.
- For fuck’s sake. Nick? SHOOT THE WATERFORDS.
- Holy shit. Nevermind. Well, I don’t think I can breathe now.
