- Honestly have been dreading watching this all damn day. Even during the “Previously On” I can’t not scream into the void “WHY DID YOU RUN WITHOUT THINKING, JUNE!?” (I know she was, but, c’mon!)
- Prized pigs. Trained rats. They don’t have complex feelings like you, dearie. Oh! It’s everyone’s favorite Bitchbag here with the best fashion from Milan.
- I like the spunk, June. But, here I sit, and don’t see how she doesn’t just kill herself to spite the whole damn lot of them.
- All I can do is think of ways for June to rebel. Poop on the floor is my leading desire at the moment.
- FAKE NEWS!
- “Praise be (we all know this ain’t your baby. This is Nick and my baby. So you’re not only rapists. You’re kidnappers!).”
- For the love of all that is holy, Aunt Bitchbag, DROP THE ACT ALREADY!
- Uhh. I don’t like even asking this… but, is Nick alive? Wait. Nevermind. One look on his useless dumb face and I’m once again through with him. Unless he straight up shoots everyone in the house, and then himself.
- Oh. Yay! A complicit rapist baby shower book club. And we present you with an elephant! A symbol of the GOP who watches this show like porn.
- Serena Joy is smoking while pregnant! IT’LL HURT THE BABY! Bitchbag gets 1 point.
- Oh, hey. Arts and crafts time. This show sure loves its overly dramatic ceremonies. This is what happens when you don’t have TV, kids. On the plus side? Serena Joy is now symbolically tied to June. I hope she feels dirty.
- And speaking of that. Let’s watch Mrs. Luke call June a whore in public. Fun times.
- Serena has anger issues. Also? June is awesome. “Hey, teal-twat-rocket? I have a daughter, you barren ho.” #Savage
- I quickly IMDB’d Fred Waterford because I literally kept thinking “He’s not Voldemort. I know that. But damn if he isn’t close.”
- Aunt Lydia thinks she’s doing good. All villains do.
- Offred needs to hurl Aunt Bitchbag into the river. There’s not a punishment mean enough for her.
- 2 to 1 odds Serena is about to hobble June. Wait! No. False alarm. Just insane baby envy. Psychotic baby envy.
- A sanded door jamb, and a final scene to twist the knife in her past. This feels like “The Empire Strikes Back”. Not in the “this was nuanced and amazing!” way, no. In that “there’s literally no hope left in my soul” way.
