Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #015: “Oh, Little Girl, Cathartic Reaction”

Hey! Guess what? We just finished the Second American Revolution! No kidding! The bad news is, we lost. The America we were taught in school, to the extent it was ever around, is now completely gone. Maybe forever, if you don’t do something about it.

Warning To The Public: The next person who tells me they’re not going to vote because “all politicians are the same” is going to get punched square in the jaw. And the next person who says people of conscience should not step up to the plate because they risk “energizing Trump’s base” is going to get punched square in the jaw as well.

Do you know how embarrassing it would be to get punched out by a geriatric cripple? Some asshole might find out. But, to be fair, I will respect my victim for having the courage to confront me directly, as opposed to the millions of spineless cowards who lack the courage of their National Socialist convictions by hiding behind the internet’s anonymity as they try to shove their monstrous gibberish down the throats of people with reason. 

Note to our nation’s Liar-in-Chief: Your trumped-up FBI investigation did not find your rapist-wannabe homeboy innocent of anything. The FBI is not a judge or jury. When unfettered by politicians and liars, they investigate. In fact, even a judge or jury does not find anybody innocent, which, if you think about it (and it would be nice to see you start thinking for a change, assuming that’s possible, you goddamn monsterfuck) is impossible to do. Judges and juries find people guilty or not-gulity, and not-guilty is not at all the same or even similar to innocent. Lucky for you, your friends and followers also do not know the difference. As Hillary Clinton nearly wrote, it takes a dumbfuck…

Look at what less than two years of Trump’s naked bigotry, his xenophobia, his anti-family kidnapping, his phony religious braying, his betrayal of our global allies, his joy of sucking the teats of dictators like Putin and Kim… look at what that’s already done to this nation. We’re more fucked now than we were the day before Nixon was forced (by his fellow Republicans) to resign to avoid impeachment.

As for Kavanaugh, well, there’s a silver lining in his appointment, but it’s for those who invested in wire hanger futures. Them pro-lifers are gonna be responsible for the death of a lot of sluts and hussies – you might simply call them women; they do not. But their noses are so high in the air the best we can hope for is that a flock of birds will shit down their nostrils. Yes, I run on the bird-shit-for-bigots platform.

Trump was elected president by a group of billionaires who realized there are easier ways to make money than by actually working for it. They frightened a lot of weak-minded religious zealots and those pathetically stupid white men who thought a black man in the White House was a crime against nature. Even then, they lost the popular vote by only a mere three million people, which is roughly the combined population of Houston and San Antonio combined. Without decades of Republican gerrymandering and the assistance of Vlady Putin and his legion of vodka-laden net-trolls, Trump and his cabal of ultra-sensitive do-nothing self-righteous gripe artists would be flipping baseball cards in the alley.

Actually, in the long run Trump’s election might not prove to be completely bad. Right now, it looks like the only way Trump can avoid an impeachment trial or, on January 21 2021, multiple state trials – and I’m not referring to the type of bullshit hypocritical sideshow bro-freak Brett Kavanaugh engineered to get Bill Clinton a couple decades ago – would be to do us the kindness of dropping dead. Hey, I can dream, can’t I?

Will the people stand for the Putin/Trump/Koch/Adelson/Bannon National Socialist revolution? If we don’t, we deserve what we get. For those with short term memory lapse, by not fielding a better candidate in 2016 (who happened to win the vote anyway) and by taking her election completely for granted, we got Trump and I think, as a matter of punishment, we got what we deserved.

At the risk of putting off those of my Tribe who now think they should have trademarked the phrase NEVER AGAIN! … never again shall we believe the lies of the Constitution (freedom of religion, freedom of speech – give me a break!) or any of the other falsehoods we were taught in our Civics classes, the way North Koreans are taught that their Leader is so pure he never has to take a shit. Never again will we take our so-called rights for granted – rights that are unexercised or un-exercisable are not rights, they are soporifics.

As for Trump… if he had bothered to learn how to read, or if they sub-referenced world history during Shark Week, he would know that he no longer is necessary to anybody. Putin has fostered more chaos here and with our former allies than he could dream of if he had slept with all the hookers at the call of his FSB (this week’s nomenclature for KGB). Koch, Adelson and their cabal made billions and billions of dollars from Trump’s tax-cuts for the wealthy (growing our national debt proportionately). The holy-holy bigots who think they own our bodies got their Kavanaugh. Bannon got his National Socialism.

Donny, they no longer need you. At best, you’re a drain on their energy. On any day of the week, you are a loose cannon who they know cannot be trusted. Someday, the chant of “lock him up lock him up” will be flung at you… and you will never see it coming. That is how history works, pal.

Yup. The Second American Revolution is over.

Now it’s time for the third.

(With thanks and appreciation to Sean Byrne and Count Five. Banner art of Trump and Burns courtesy of the man who owns both right now, Mr. Rupert Murdoch)

One thought on “Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind #015: “Oh, Little Girl, Cathartic Reaction”

  1. Great column, Mike!!!!!

    My only criticism is that you should have put “(by his fellow Republicans)” in capital, bold, italicized letters. Because the dumbfucks reading the column don’t have a clue that once upon a time REPUBLICANS believed in the Constitution of the United States.