The Smarky Six #004: Week of July 23rd

Yeah, it’s a few weeks old, but LOOK! Look how much they love their hero!

The road to The Biggest Party of the Summer starts here! What, you couldn’t hear or see my eyeroll? We’re a week and change into the build, and I’m already exhausted. This week we had some good, some bad, and some baby-tossing. Why don’t we unpack our bags and see what sticks to the floor, shall we?

  1. The Evolution pay per view is as historic an event as the war of 1813.

TNA/Impact and several other smaller feds have done all women wrestling shows for a while now. And how excited can we really be, knowing that in November of the year, the WWE will be back in woman-less Saudi Arabia for another show. Guess who can’t compete there? So, for as much as the brass in Stanford want to sound their flugelhorns of equality? Let’s keep in mind that the announcement is 2 solid steps forward and one continually regressing one back.

That being said? I look forward to the company having to actually make stories instead of 50/50 book their 2 women’s divisions for a while. 

  1. So after all of that… It’s Brock vs. Roman for the 718th time.

I seem to recall the heist of the century a few Wrestlemanias ago, when Seth Rollins helped us forget the last time we figured Roman Reigns would finally beat Brock, so we could all just move on already. Or was that the time before the last time that was supposed to happen? The fact that we’re getting an Owens vs. Strowman with the MITB briefcase on the line the same night intrigues me. Is this to make us not think there will be a mercy flush Hail Mary cash-in? Well, if it is, it’s not working. Expect Roman vs. Brock to be anything but another one on one. Otherwise, it’ll be the first Summerslam where the audience leaves early.

  1. Meanwhile, we finally get Samoa Joe as he should be.

I was about to lose all hope. With Nakamura now blessing America, and Randy Orton declaring war on Santa Claus (I think), I was at a loss as to who (shut it, New Day fans) AJ Styles would face for the WWE title. Samoa Joe was mauling Tye Dillinger and R-Truth, and all I could think was “why, oh lord, why?”

Thank you, secret-actually-listening-to-the-fans-and-somehow-sneaking-in-good-matches-WWE-writer. We all know Joe vs. Styles (much like Nakamura vs. Styles) comes with history. And Vince doesn’t think wrestlers… err Sports Entertainers… had careers before the WWE. So, I’m popping the corn right now; Because this is the feud to actually give a damn about — even if it was started with utter garbage booking.

  1. Ember Moon’s finisher is the best one in wrestling today.

Seriously. Fight me over it. You’ll lose. It’s a variation on the stunner that requires Moon to contort in a manner that actually benefits from her being a woman. She adapted a move to better suit her abilities and physique. The Eclipse is a thing of beauty, and frankly, I hope they keep it Pedigree-levels of strong for the foreseeable future.

Now, if Ember could just ditch the hoodie/kerchief combo in her entrance gear…

  1. Maybe if we all continue to not make a fuss, Vince won’t notice Tag Team Wrestling is seriously kicking ass right now.

On RAW, the B-Team are over like rover. Hardy and Wyatt — while not amazing as they should be — are a solid combo. And you have both the Authors of Pain and the Revival waiting in the wings. On Smackdown, the return of The Bar coalesces with SaNiTy, New Day, the Usos, and the Bludgeon Brothers. Seriously. Everyone… Don’t spook old man McMahon. This is nigh on spoiling us with potential entertainment. Like, dare I say Hardy/Dudley/E+C level entertainment. Shhhh.

  1. Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the odd notion of two weeks in a row for compelling Randy Orton segments.

As soon as “I hear voices” on my TV, my fingers impulsively moves to the fast forward on the ole’ DVR. But this week, I held back. Randy deserved my attention long enough this week to see him ruin it (like he do…). But to my chagrin and astonishment? He made a coherent argument that tied into his personal history in the business, all the while feeling like a potential threat to nearly any babyface on the roster. It was… compelling. I’m not entirely sure where this is heading. And I fear we’re only one crap segment away from this all feeling like the promise of free bacon… only to get turkey bacon. But I digress. Amidst an already packed Summerslam card, somehow, I actually care about where and who Orton might face (or if not booked… who will he interrupt. Oh god, he’s gonna get involved in the Styles / Joe match. No! BAH GAWD NO!)

  1. BONUS! Three cheers to the Miz.

Look, we all knew no one would march out a barely-baked baby out into a roaring arena. And we all saw that it was a little too perfect for an infant to be that still in a baby carrier. But that segment was ball-out… err… baby-out funny. The second the doll was tossed, I was giddy with laughter. Because next week, the build continues. And bah gawd. If Miz name drops Birdy in all of this? Bryan and Miz will absolutely steal Summerslam away from every other match on the card. As. It. Should.